A wizened man shuffles down the stairs, places his umbrella in our conveniently labeled Umbrella Box and says “Hi, I’m Peter.”
I smile. “Hi, Peter. I’m Adam.”
He sighs. “I’m Peter.”
I smile. “And I’m Adam. How can I help you?”
He sighs again. Sighing is usually my job. “I’m Peter. I’m here to pick up my DVDs.”
I ruffle through our special order box. “I’m sorry.” I say. “I don’t have a bag for Peter. Also, we don’t usually carry DVDs. What did you order?”
He sigh again. “Arched. It’s for my nephew. I called five minutes ago to make sure it would be ready, I’m in a hurry.”
I shrug. “I’m sorry.” I say. “But you didn’t call me. I think you’re in the wrong store. Are you looking for—”
He sighs again, which is not annoying at all. “I am not in the wrong store. I called a few minutes ago and talked to Mark. He told me they’d be behind the counter.”
"I’m sorry. There’s no one named Mark here. And, as you can see, I’m the only one working here." I say.
"Well, maybe he’s new, but I definitely talked to Mark and he said my Arched DVDs would be here." He huffs. This is the first time I’ve heard someone legitimately huff since I was a child.
"Sir, there are five of us who work here. There is no one named Mark. There is a Mike, but he isn’t here today. There is a Matt who works at Comic Book Store Around The Corner. Would you like me to call and see if that’s where your DVDs are?" I am certain my conversation with Matt would be Gold.
"I DIDN’T TALK TO MATT, I TALKED TO MARK."
"I’m sorry." I say. "There is no Mark here. And no DVDs. We sell mostly comics and a few action figures and t-shirts."
"I KNOW WHAT YOU SELL. I’m getting impatient." A destination he arrived at several sentences ago. "Did you sell my DVDs to someone else?"
I sigh. Because it is my turn. “Sir. You are in The Wrong Store.” I hand him one of our business cards. “Are you looking for Yet Another Comic Book Store? I would be happy to give you dir—”
"I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANOTHER STORE. THIS IS THE STORE I ORDER MY DVDS FROM."
I shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you. We don’t sell DVDs.”
"Well, I used to get them from your Alewife store, but that shut down."
Ahhh. “Sir, that’s Not Us. The store you’re looking for is about a block away. Would you like me to call them and see if—”
"I’M NOT IN THE WRONG STORE! YOU’RE IN THE WRONG STORE!" and he stomps up the stairs in stark contrast with his shuffle down.
"Sir." I say.
"WHAT?" he yells down the stairs.
"You left your umbrella."
Well, it is raining today.