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Honest Conversation Is Overrated

Actual Human Interactions Witnessed Or Overheard
In  Twentieth  And  Twenty-First  Century  America

How To Make Black Friends And Influence People

12/20/2008

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A group of poets were discussing ways to be on the cutting edge of new fiction, when one of them came up with the idea of rewriting classics word for word, but inserting the word black into them, thus COMPLETELY changing the tone/perspective of the book. His original idea: Do Black Androids Dream of Electric Black Sheep.

So, Jim and I have been spending the evening coming up with other books that would be forever change by the addition of that one word:

Mein Black Kampf
Their Black Eyes Were Watching God
Something Wicked Black This Way Comes
Skinny Black Legs And All
Even Black Cowgirls Get The Blues
Little Black Women
The Black Things The Carried
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Black Galaxy
So Long, And Thanks For All The Black Fish
I Know Why The Black Caged Bird Sings
Heart Of Darkness
The Autobiography of Black Malcolm X
Dreams Of My Black Father
To Kill A Black Mockingbird
A Series Of Unfortunate Black Events
I Did It Black : OJ Confesses
The Jungle Book
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Black Secrets
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Black Prince
Men Are From Mars, Black Women Are From Venus
His Dark Materials
The Illustrated Black Man
The Five Black People You Meet In Heaven
The Black Great Gatsby
The Complete Black Idiot's Guide To Slam Poetry
The Dark Tower
Uncle Tom's Black Cabin
A Black Child's Christmas In Wales
Yes, Virginia, There Is A Black Santa Claus
Come On Black People: On The Path From Victims To Victors
A Black American Werewolf In London
Twelve Angry Black Men
The Black Communist Manifesto
Black On The Road
Lord Of the Black Flies
Black Beauty
The Black Cat In The Hat
Choose Your Own Black Adventure
Are You There Black God, It's Me Margaret
Black Like Me



While some of these titles are just amusing, I think some of these books would be very, very interesting. In particular, I'd like to see a scottwoods poem called "Do Black Androids Dream Of Electric Black Sheep?" I mean, I haven't heard a bad Scott Woods poem yet (which doesn't mean they're not out there, just that he, wisely, only shares the good ones more than once), and think he'd come up with something pretty amazing with this title.

edited/added from lj users' comments:

Moby Black Dick
Black Generation X
Hope For The Black Flowers
Lady Chatterley's Black Lover
The Black Bible
The Good Black Earth
A Black People's History Of The United States
Chicago Manual Of Black Style
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Seriously, Shut The Fuck Up, Cat

12/12/2008

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The Pet Store down the street has a cage full of kittens that they are selling for the price of their shots (they usually don't sell larger animals, but these cats were found in an alley in Allston, so they took them in.  I have decided to adopt the mother, because you never know how kittens are going to turn out.

I played with her in the store for a couple weeks, got permission from my landlord, and just brought her home last night.  The problem is, I don't want to name her until I get a better read on her personality.  So far she seems haunted, and loves to meow and meow and meow whenever I try to sleep. 

These are the front runners for her name:

Bugz (she has them in her brain)
Shut The Fuck Up (self-explanatory)
Molly (From The Haunting of Molly Hartney)
Rosemary (the one with the baby)
Regan (Mcneil from The Exorcist)
Tupac (suggested as an alternative to a name to appear later)
Afeni (which would make her kitten, Tupac)
Mia (what they called her in the pet store)
For The Love of God Shut The Fuck Up, It' Three O'Clock In The Morning
Emily Rose
I Want A Refund
Maiow
Brrrrrrrrrrrraiow
Underfoot
Selina (as in Kyle, this is the one I'm leaning to at the moment)
Are You Seriously Still Maiowing At Me?
Mystique
Malebolgia
Sniffy (aka MADcat from Inspector Gadget)
Delia (I had a Koosa named Delia when I was a kid))
Nigger

I've also been taking care of one of her kittens at the store, an adorable little martiany thing that I have named Yoda Vader, as she has a huge Yoda head and ears (complete with big tufts growing out of them), but a respiratory infection that makes her sound like His Darthness.  The repiratory thing is apparently genetic, and thus, came from her as yet unnamed mother, who now breathes like a normal cat.
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