A couple of lowkey, youngish teenagers come in and begin walking around and checking prices on things.
About a minute later, a woman in a non-matching Canadian Tuxedo (washed light on bottom, dark on top) cawed into the store.
Canadian Tuxedo: "You wanna buy some squishamallows?"
Me: "I'm sorry, you're going to have to put on a mask."
CT: "No, it's fine. I've been vaccinated."
Me: "You still need to put on a mask."
CT: "No, I --"
Young Teenager #1: "Mom. Shut up and put on your mask or leave."
CT: "Touchy Touchy." She puts on her mask. "Squishamallows. I got a stack a squishamallows, I can get them to you for cheap."
YT1: "Those are my squishamallows. They are not for sale."
CT: "Sure they are. They're like Beanie Babies, you got to get in and get out before they're not worth anything. I bet this guy would love to buy the whole stack of squishamallows."
Me: "Sorry. We're not buying squishamallows right now. Or ever, really."
CT: "Oh, you gotta buy squishamallows. They're the Next Big Thing."
CT: "We've got old manga, too. You need to buy any manga?"
Me: "Get me a list of what you have. If it's anything we need, we might buy it. But it won't be for much. Maybe $3 or $4 per book, most likely."
CT: "Oh no, these ones are worth a lot of money. You're gonna die when you see what we've got. They're so valuable. Mint condition."
Me: "Great. Get us a list and maybe some photos, and I'll let you know if we're interested."
CT: "Are you hiring?"
CT: "Not even for the summer? Oh, it's not for me. I mean, no offense, but I've got a much better job. It's for my daughter. She's very experienced she's got five years experience working at IDUGjhDGF,jDfgMNF."
Her daughter is MAYBE 15, probably 14. She shouldn't have five years working anywhere.
Me: "We're not hiring at all."
CT: "Well, I can leave you my card. That will change in a few weeks. It gets busy in the summer, and you'll wish you had someone like my daughter working here."
She sees that I have a box of food to my left. I had just had lunch dropped off when they'd shown up.
CT: "Oh, I didn't know you were eating lunch. I'm sorry. Is it from Bridge Pizza?"
CT: "Do you ever order from Bridge Pizza?"
Me: "I'm not familiar with them."
CT: "Oh, they're the best. Two pizzas for $17. Large pizzas, not the small ones. And the people there are so nice. And it's local. You should be supporting local businesses, not ordering from chains and what not."
Me: "This is from Wrapture, which is about a block and a half that way. Very local."
CT: "Well Bridge is the best pizza in town. And they're gentlemen. Not like these other place, you know?"
CT: "When do you work?"
Me: "Constantly. There's no schedule though. I'm just here when I'm here."
This is a Complete Lie.
CT: "So if I come in in, say, a few weeks, you'll be here eating Bridge pizza and ready to buy our manga."
Me: "You never know."
CT: "Ok. Well, we've got to go. We don't need anything here right now. No offense."
Me: "None taken."
CT: "Last chance. A whole stack of squishamallows for a Very Reasonable price."
Me: "Thanks, but we're not buying squishamallows right now."
CT: "Hmph. Your loss."
The nearest place called Bridge Pizza is about a half an hour drive on the highway.