A hipster douchebag in Coolidge wearing SHORTS, a t-shirt, a head scarf and goggles looked at me in my hat and coat and said “You look ridiculous.” And smiled at his girlfriend, who was dressed all in purple and glitter.
Random Loiterer: “People shouldn’t read comics. People need to read more poetry.”
When I replied that many of us read both, he defied me to name even one modern poet.
Needless to say, he left feeling like an uneducated asshole. Which is exactly what he was.
I would like to buy a book to teach my children math, but I don’t want to see any numbers or quantities, but it must be guaranteed to teach them math.
A woman walks into the store with her thirteen year old son and tells me: “I would like a non-violent Batman book for kids. Something with absolutely no violence or fighting, but I don’t want it to be boring.”
The first in a series explaining why I'm losing my hair:
Two guys in their mid-twenties walk into the Qughincy (the "ugh" in Quincy is silent, but always present) Store. One is looking for "The List" series from Marvel. So I lead him to The List section, show him what titles we have, tell him that I JUST sold the last two copies of the Daredevil and Punisher issues. He is clearly about to say something along the lines of "shucks", "rats", or "goddamn it" when his friend, from across the store starts shouting "You needs to get Fantastic Four The List. And Halo The List. And Superman The List. You needs to get GIJoe The List and--"
"Buddy." The first guy says. "Those comics don't exist."
"Yea, they dos. I saw the movies."
We continue looking for non-List comics, pretending we didn't hear the movie comment. But after a minute or two, the guy starts up again "You needs to get GI Joe, it was bomb-ass. And Daredevil was the shit. You seen the Watchmen comics? Shit be like--"
The first guy interrupts. "Look, if you like those comics so much, you should buy them. God knows it wouldn't hurt you to read every once in a while."
The second guy pulls his cap rim down and says "Fuck you, nigger. I reads. I reads the youtubes all the time."