The Crooked Treehouse
  • Tips From The Bar
  • Honest Conversation Is Overrated
  • Because You Politely Requested It
  • Popcorn Culture
  • Comically Obsessed
  • Justify Your Bookshelves
  • Submissions

Honest Conversation Is Overrated

Actual Human Interactions Witnessed Or Overheard
In  Twentieth  And  Twenty-First  Century  America

The Last Two Weeks

10/20/2008

0 Comments

 
Nearly two weeks ago, I was coming home from a fantastically fun night at The Cantab Lounge, whistling, I was whistling. Not to ward off ghosts. Not with glee. Not a kettle letting of steam. I was just whistling. Ok, maybe with glee. I'd seen Sora twice in one week (thus beating our previous 2007/08 record of once every six months). I'd reconnected with Zach.

Oh, don't go looking for any entries about them to try and brush up on who they are. See, when I was done whistling, I entered my house like the filthy whore that it is, made my way into the bedroom, collapsed on the bed, and decided to check my e-mail before masturbating bed. But, lo, I could not check my e-mail. My password wasn't working. Maybe I typed it too fast. No. My. Password. Wasn't. Working. Hmmmm.

I clicked on the little Gmail link that said "My password isn't working", and was given the runaround by blocks of text. No problem, I'll e-mail their tech sup...huh. Gmail and Google do not offer e-mail tech support. Well, the fuck with them, I'm going to call and...hey, they don't offer phone support either. Still, over the next couple of days, I called Google three times, and was told by three different people that there was nothing I could do. Someone had hacked my account, and changed my secondary e-mail address, so that they couldn't e-mail me a new password. I would have to wait five days, without attempting to log in, before I could access a page that would ask me my secret question.

Well, that seemed like a steaming load of bullshit. So I surfed around until I found the "my account has been compromised page", which I swear they updated the night before, and it asked me some simple questions about my account, and within five minutes I had my GMail back.

I would have written an LJ entry about it earlier, but, the self same hacker had moved into my LJ account, deleted all my entires, changed my password, changed my secondary e-mail account, changed my primary e-mail account, taken over bad_sex, removed the other mods, appointed another hacked account as mod, posted a homophobic bullshit entry, and then went off to rape bluejays, or whatever it is hackers do when they get bored of arbitrarily destroying things.

Like Google, LJ has no e-mail or phone tech support. Like Google, they don't like to assist their customers when they're having problems. But, unlike Google, they also don't fucken respond to tech questions on their support page. A leisurely five days after I posted that my account had been hacked, and my e-mails switched, I received a lovely link to the FAQ telling me that should my account be hacked, I had only to go to a page that would send an e-mail to me with a new password. Of course, since the e-mail address had been changed, I wouldn't receive said e-mail (something I explained in my complaint). I restated my problem with added, boldfaced information (a passive aggressive tactic I learned from my boss). THree days passed with no reply.

Desperate, I left a comment in the journal of one of the original five LJ members, acknowledging that all my entires were gone, but I'd really like my account back, and what useless fucken Russian did I have to wedgie to geet someone to help me.

I was granted access the next day.

I spent three hours moving backed up posts from Blogspot and Google Reader here in LJ when I noticed that my laptop battery wasm't connected well. I attempted to secure the connection, when the connector fell the fuck off the battery. So. Goodbye laptop until I got a new battery.

No problem, a couple of nights later I was able to go to Best Buy, where I was told they only sold Universal batteries now, which weren't overly universal, and might not fit my computer...except...except there was one random Hewlett Packard battery floating around. And, hey, I have a Hewlett Packard laptop. The box said "fits all models", and even included my model number on the box. Sweet.

I made my way through Kenmore Square's swarm of Red Sox fans (at what turned out to be their last home game of the year), and on to the bus, and home. Home, where I cracked open the box, unwoun the cables and....and it didn't fit. The Hewlett Packard battery that "fits all models" including the one I won didn't even remotely fit my laptop. It was like trying to swab wax out of your ear with a Redwood tree.

Something had to be done. I fumed. I freaked out. (Best Buy being closed at this point) I threatened the pets of HP employees (all of whom were well out of earshot). And then, in the midst of my rage, I decided to unpack some of the boxes from my last apartment and...and an adaptor fell out. One that was exactly the right size to connect the wrong sized battery with the right sized latop. And...and..I was back in business.

Grand.

Last night, having just updated my Zune, and Firefox (which had been a total cunt the day before), I restarted my computer and was greeted with a message informing me I ran the risk of total harddrive failure, and should press F1 to start, and then back up everything on my computer.

I was not surprised to find that F1 didn't do a fucken thing.

So. I am once again without a computer. And, while I have Wednesday morning off to go to Best Buy and waterboard the guy that sold me this information death trap, I don't have a laptop.

I would have called you all, individually, of course, to let you know, but this morning, I went to plug my charger into the phone, and the charger snapped, and my phone went completely indiglo, and refused to acknowledge any buttons, including the power on and off.

So, if you need to get in touch with me, might I suggest Pony Express?

If anyone in the Boston area wants to drop by and keep me from killing geeks, I'm going to be in the Allston store, sharpening spears, and compulsively rearranging the comics. Possibly also watching Arrested Development or Scrubs, depending on how many customers are around (none, if they know what's good for 'em). And if you have, by chance, a laptop you're not using, that can run Firefox, a word processing program, and might have room for me to load my Zune software on it, that'd rule. Because without my laptop, my Zune is going to run out of power and be unchargable (just like me!), which will be decidedly unawesome.

I'm going to the store now to rest a bit before we open (noon). I'll probably be back and forth to the internet cafe (where I'm typing this) between now and then. Wishing I was home. Because, the same night I went to Best Buy and bought a now useless new computer battery adapter, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and turned my not-so-wonderful bed, into a bastion of comfort. I can't wait for the new mattress pad to magically transform into molten lava, or become otherwise unusable.
0 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Asterisk
    Awkward Non Sexual Situations
    Awkward Sex Situations
    Beckee
    Being Gay
    Being Insafemode
    Ben
    Big Honken Liars
    Brookline And Qughincy
    Celeste
    Clarissa
    Comics
    Communication Problems
    Comrade
    Dad
    Dallas
    David
    Deaf Culture
    Dmitri
    Drugs
    Ducks
    Dude
    Elvis
    Emily
    Fledge
    Fortune Cookies
    Fucken Love
    Gay Sex
    Gender
    Hahvahd
    Hampshire Damn College
    Health Problems
    Holidays
    Horrible Pizza Place
    Im A Drunk
    Internet Dating
    Jackie
    Jbob
    Jennifer
    Jeremy
    Jim
    Kevin
    Kimberly Hyphen Surname
    Kimberly Hyphen-Surname
    Landlords
    Literature
    Mr Hpl
    My Family
    My Father
    My Mother
    Odd Jobs
    Online Dating
    Opening A Bottle Rocket With Your Teeth
    Pets
    Poetry
    Police
    Politics
    Quarantine Time
    Rainbortion
    Random Inanity
    Retail
    Roommates
    Ryan
    Saint
    School
    Scotts
    Sir Trick
    Slam
    Slow Flashes
    Sora
    Steggy
    Theatre
    The British Invasion
    The End Of The World
    The Loop
    The Numbers
    Theo
    The Slut Across The Street
    Tommy
    Trick
    Unharry
    Vegas
    Victor
    Wiz
    Zuzu


    Archives

    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    February 2011
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    September 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008
    September 2008
    August 2008
    July 2008
    June 2008
    May 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008
    February 2008
    January 2008
    December 2007
    November 2007
    October 2007
    September 2007
    August 2007
    July 2007
    June 2007
    May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    July 2006
    May 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    May 2005
    April 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    December 2004
    November 2004
    October 2004
    July 2004
    June 2004
    April 2004
    March 2004
    February 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    November 2003
    September 2003
    August 2003
    July 2003
    June 2003
    May 2003
    April 2003
    March 2003
    July 2002
    June 2002
    April 2002
    January 2002
    September 2001
    July 2001
    March 2001
    February 2001
    October 2000
    September 1999
    June 1999
    December 1998
    October 1998
    September 1998
    August 1998
    July 1998
    June 1998
    January 1998
    December 1997
    August 1997
    June 1996
    February 1996
    November 1995
    August 1995
    May 1994
    January 1994
    December 1993
    June 1993
    January 1993
    December 1992
    November 1991
    April 1991
    July 1990
    May 1990
    April 1990
    January 1990

    RSS Feed

      Need To Get In Touch With Me?

    Submit
All work on the Crooked Treehouse is ©Adam Stone, except where indicated, and may not be reproduced without his permission. If you enjoy it, please consider giving to my Patreon account.
  • Tips From The Bar
  • Honest Conversation Is Overrated
  • Because You Politely Requested It
  • Popcorn Culture
  • Comically Obsessed
  • Justify Your Bookshelves
  • Submissions