Customer: “Have I talked to you about my grandchildren?”
Me: “No. And I really appreciate your continued restraint in that area.”
Guy on phone: You’re the guy who threw out my subscription folder, right?
Me: Almost definitely. I threw out all the ratty old folders and replaced them with new ones.
GoP: You threw out my folder, and that pisses me off.
Me: Well, I didn’t throw out any comics. If there was anything in the folder, I put everything in the new folder.
GoP: Well you didn’t make one for me. And I’m pissed.
Me: Well, there were a lot of folders for people who haven’t gotten comics in years. I didn’t replace those.
GoP: So, if the people whose folders you THREW AWAY got new comics, I suppose you just threw those away, too?
Me: No. If comics come in for someone without a folder, I make them a NEW folder.
GoP: Well, you THREW AWAY my folder, and I was supposed to get books this week.
Me: What’s your last name?
GoP: (last name)
Me: You have three new books. They’re in your folder.
Guy on phone: Is it a new folder? My old one was falling apart.
Glasses: “How much is this book?”
Me: “The price is on the back.” I look for him, in case he is numerically illiterate. “19.99”
Glasses: “How much is that with tax?”
Glasses: “What would I get back if I gave you three tens?”
Glasses: “How much is that?”
Me: “One five, three ones, three quarters, and a penny.”
Glasses: “I don’t like fives.”
Me: “Then it would be eight ones, three quarters, and a penny.”
Glasses: “I don’t like quarters.”
Me (internally saying Fuck you): “That’s too bad, I’m all out of nickels and dimes.”
Glasses stands at counter, reads the entire book, mouthing the words. ”I will buy this tomorrow.”
I hate Wednesdays.
In case you didn’t know tonight was Unintelligent, Unattractive, Arrogant, Misogynist Comic Book Fans Bring Their Hot Girlfriend With Low Standards To Their Comic Book Store Night where I work.
All sorts of douchecocks saying things like “Tell my chick she’ll like that Strangers in Paradise crap, right? I mean, it’s, like, totally fucken lesbo.”
Why would you exchange saliva with anyone who would first think something like that, and then say it out loud to a stranger with a blunt object in his hand?