Random Loiterer. “Where are you keeping all your leftover comics from Free Comic Book Day?”
Me: ‘We don’t have any.”
He winks, and says “No, but for real, though.”
My shoulders visibly slump. “No, but for real, by 3pm on Saturday we were out of everything but Sesame Street.”
He laughs, for some reason. “What were the most popular ones?”
I shrug. “I guess everything but Sesame Street was pretty popular. Hence them all disappearing. By the time I got in to work, there was barely anything left.”
He laughs again. “So what was the best one?”
"I don’t know." I say. "I didn’t get to read any because we gave them all away."
Completely ignoring anything I’ve said, he asks “Was The Walking Dead one any good?”
"It won a Pulitzer and a Grammy. It’s the first Free Comic Book Day comic to win both."
He gives me a double take.
"I didn’t read any of them. What do you want from me?"
"How was The Hulk one?"
When I don’t have a lot of time to pick up lunch (such as today), I run into Subway for one of their famous 11” foot long subs. Today, it was hot in the store, so I’d taken off my hat before I ran over.
"Long time -no see." the guy behind the counter said.
"I saw you Thursday." I said.
"No. Many months, sir." he said.
"No. I saw you Thursday."
"Were you wearing a hat?" asked his coworker.
I shrugged. “Probably.”
His eyes got real large. “I TOLD YOU THEY WERE SAME PERSON.”
So, apparently, the people at Subway think I’m two different people based on whether or not I’m wearing a hat. Had I known this, I would have run experiments to find which of me they liked better.