Screaming baby. Angry woman screaming at screaming baby to be quiet. Angry mom screaming at angry woman screaming at screaming baby to be quiet to not talk to her kids that way. Angry woman screaming at angry mom screaming at angry woman screaming at screaming baby to be quiet not to talk to her kids that way that she’ll talk however she damn well pleases. Angry man completely oblivious about baby and screaming women screaming obscenities at unaffiliated woman that it is time for her to leave. Angry mom screaming at angry man not to “fucken swear in front of (her) fucken baby.” quiets other angry woman who mutters to herself “Oh, I get it. You’re fucken crazy.” and sits down, and thankfully no other crazy person (unless you’re counting me) hears it. Employee screams at people to stop screaming or he’s going to throw every screaming non-baby out. (Yes, he specifically gives the baby permission to keep screaming.)
Non-screaming woman who was being screamed at by screaming man grabs her stuff and leaves. Mom sits down. Manager comes out. Baby calms. Things return to normal. Then formerly non-screaming woman pops her head back in “AFTER ALL THAT SHIT, YOU’RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING SIT THERE?!?! GET OUTSIDE, ASSHOLE!”
Central Square, anyone who ever says “Don’t ever change.” clearly doesn’t know you very well.
Bored on a Wednesday night, Ben has made a new dating profile “A. Ackbar.” which is just a picture of the famous rebel admiral with a profile that reads “It’s a trap!”
He spends hours trolling the various guys who message him asking for dick pics. He sends them pictures of tentacles.
I don’t need to be this creative. All I have to do is sign in to my account and, within five minutes I get a message like the following:
”Love your profile. You out in the snow today, babe? Want to come stick your carrot in my face?”
To which I reply, ”Hahahaha, no. Not ever. How about I just stop by and press coal into your eyes?”
Then he blocked me.