Random Loiterer: “Hi!”
RL: “I’m looking for a comic but I don’t know the name.”
Me: “That’s pretty common. Is it a superhero comic? A memoir?”
RL: “It’s got a giant white background on the cover.”
This is absolutely, in no way helpful.
Me: “Anything else?”
RL: “These two brown chicks with huge knockers and asses bigger than their heads.”
I grit my teeth until pieces of them fall on the keyboard. “Can’t help you there.”
RL: “It’s called, like Ass Jihad or something.”
Me: “I’ve never heard of it.”
RL: “Well, at the beginning of the comic, there’s two chicks, right, and they’re—”
Me: “We don’t have it, and I’ve never heard of it. The adult section is right over there if you’d like to see what sort of material we have.”
RL “There’s this one scene where—”
Me: “I’m not interested.” Smile.
RL: “Ok, WOW! Cannibal Orgy? Have you read this?”
Me: “No. It’s not really my thing.”
RL: “Man, I’d love it if this crossed over with Ass Jihad.”
Me: “I bet.”
RL: “Is that a thing? Does it exist?”
I’m clearly being trolled. “No.”
I hear a slight ripping sound. ”Hey, this comic is damaged. How much can I get off of this?”
I sigh. ”Nothing.” We have no I Just Ripped This So I Can Rip You Off Discounts. Not even on Porn.
RL, waving the book in my face, “But it’s ripped! Ripped.”
Me: “That makes it collectible.”
Me: “Yea, we should probably charge more for it.”
He spends the next about five minutes or so creating a pile of select adult books, and then brings a huge pile to the counter. ”How much are these?”
I ring them through and give him a total.
"Not bad." He says. "I wish I had money."