Honest Conversation Is Overrated
Actual Human Interactions Witnessed Or Overheard
In Twentieth And Twenty-First Century America
In Twentieth And Twenty-First Century America
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Random Loiterer: "Do you guys have the Danzig comic?"
Me: "Henry & Glenn Forever? I think it's unavailable right now, but it's amazing." RL: "The one that he writes?" Me: "Oh. NO. I forgot he wrote a comic. We haven't ever carried..." google google type type "Verotika." RL: "What's Henry & Glenn Forever?" Me: "It's about Glenn Danzig and Henry Rollins' queer relationship, Glenn's sweet and overbearing mother, and their Satan-worshiping neighbors, Hall & Oates." RL: "And...he...wrote that?" Me: "Noooooooooooooooo. Glenn Danzig Hates It. But Henry Rollins thinks it's hilarious." RL: "That sounds about right. So do you have it?" Me: "It's unavailable right now." RL: "Not Henry & Glenn. Do you have Verotika?" Me: "No. Nor, do I imagine, will we. But as soon as Henry & Glenn is available, we'll have that." RL: "Comics are weird. I'm going to go get a sandwich."
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Me at 1155: I should probably start cooking something for Thanksgiving.
Me at 1200: I haven't made this sauce recipe in a while. And the last time I made it, I changed the recipe and really liked it. There was some sort of secret ingredient. Oh, well. Every other time I've made it, it's come out awesome. Me at 1215: I don't have the core ingredient that makes this sauce. I shall have to improvise. Me at 1217: WAIT! This happened last time, and I replaced (ingredient) with (variation on ingredient). And I DO have that ingredient. I make the recipe. Taste. Flavor. Taste. Flavor. Edit. Taste. Me at 1225: THIS IS MY SAUCE NOW. I WILL DRINK IT LIKE SOUP. Me at 1230: Well, I'll pour some of it into mason jars, but I am definitely going to throw this bacon and cheese ravioli in the remainder of the sauce, and skip Thanksgiving entirely. Me at 1235: I'm never going to finish all this sauce. I guess I'll go. If you're going to be out in public, or in, say a comic book store, or a restaurant, SMOKE BETTER WEED. I support your form of relaxation, but I don't want to have to smell your form of relaxation. If I did, I'd hang out with the dealer who is clearly ripping you off.
It's 2017. For every loss of civil liberties, and every disappointing political situation, there are at least two strains of affordable weed that don't smell like you just pulled your rolling papers out of a nervous skunk's asshole. Or buy edibles. Anything that prevents me from having to Febreeze the store for an hour. One of the guys across the hall just saw me reading an article online, and commented about how beautiful the photograph was, and how he likes to travel. So he started me asking questions about the place I was "looking to vacation."
I didn't lie. But I wonder what sort of noise he'll make when he tries to look up Hyrule on TripAdvisor. Once I start whistling the original Super Mario Brothers Theme, the only was I can stop is to kill Mario or do the "time ran out" part. If I let him reach the flagpole in 1-1, I have no choice but to move on to the dungeon theme from 1-2.
Today, for the first time in ages, I sat down and spent two hours reading the news.
Tomorrow, I will go back to reading Stephen King and graphic novels, which are so much less depressing, and whose characters are less depraved, and do more realistic and human things. When I am feeling down about my art, and where I am in my life, I do something that I've never heard recommended. I go find an artist whose work is in the same vein as mine. Someone who is more successful than me, but whose work I despise.
I read as much of their work as I can stand, and then I close the browser window, or the book, or whatever media brought their work to my eyes or ears, and I think "This talentless bozo wakes up every day and decides not only to live, but to keep producing their horrible art and inflict it in on the world. And people are giving them money for it. And this artist is, if not happy, at least content to keep breathing every day, despite all the hexes that right thinking people have put on them. And if this dingleberry gets to continue to live and produce this art that I hate, then there must be a place for me and my work." Then I go make food, or watch TV, or something that makes me forget their terrible art. I never do this BEFORE sitting down to create work, I only do it after I get frustrated by work, and I always give myself time to completely forget about before returning to create. |
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