Oh man, if you invited a bunch of your friends over for Dungeons & Dragons for New Year's Eve, and you are just now going out to buy the appropriate manuals and books, then you have Fucked Up your 2017. I hope one of your resolutions for 2018 is to not procrastinate as much.
I am thoroughly unsurprised when someone that I've always found unpleasant (in this case, Mr. Goodie Box) decides to open a conversation with bizarre misogyny disguised as small talk.
I've got my iPod on shuffle, and Bonnie Raitt's "Real Man" is playing, and he opens conversation with "At least she's honest. You know before she takes all the guy's money."
Mr Goodie Box: "That's what they do. Women. They love you, they leave you, and they take all your stuff."
Me: "That happen to you a lot, does it?"
MGB: "Not me. But I hear things."
Me: "I bet."
One of the regulars at the bar brought a set of wooden blocks to hang above the stairs that read "Do Not Block The Stairs" as a gift for my coworker who spends at least twenty minutes a night asking people to move off the stairs, which give access to our fire exit.
I hung them across the stairs. A dude walked up to them. Stopped. Read them. Cocked his head. Made eye contact. Asked "Is it cool if I stand here?"
Random Loiterer: "I love the X-Men, do you have any X-men books here?"
Me: "Of course. We have some issues over here, and some collections over--"
RL: "Oh, you have vintage comics! Man, I grew up reading these. I had every issue."
RL: "I think the only one I have left is #84. The first appearance of Silver Surfer. How much is that worth?"
Me: "Um. Well, #84 was a reprint. All the issues between 67 (I think) and 94ish were reprints."
RL: "No. 84 was the first appearance of Silver Surfer."
Google google google.
Me: "So, Silver Surfer's first appearance was Fantastic Four #48. Is that what you were thinking of?"
RL: "No. Look up X-Men #84."
Type type type.
RL: "Can I see the cover? Yea. There. The Silver Surfer."
Me: "That's Iceman actually."
RL: "Why is Iceman in an X-Men comic?"
Me: "Um. Well. He's one of the original X-Men. He was in almost every issue."
RL: "I don't remember him. I'm pretty sure that's The Silver Surfer."
Me: "It's not. They do look similar, but Silver Surfer rode a surfboard. Iceman created an ice slide. See?"
RL: "You're telling me that's not Silver Surfer?"
Me: "I am telling you that's Iceman."
RL: "When did Silver Surfer join the X-Men?"
Me: "As far as I can remember, he never did. I might be wrong. A bunch of characters have been in the X-Men or The Avengers for a couple of issues, but he was never one of the main characters in an X-Men book that I read."
RL: "Are space books valuable right now?"
Me: "There are some books that take in space that are popular right now, sure. Saga. Guardians of The Galaxy. Uhhh--"
RL: "What's bigger space or time travel?"
Me: "Well, space is infinite. We don't know if the same is true of time."
RL: "I mean in comics."
Me: "Space, I think. There are more dimension hopping stories than time travel right now."
RL: "Like" names a movie I've never heard of?
Me: "Maybe? I haven't seen it."
RL: "How do you work in a comic book store and you haven't seen" movie I've never heard of"?"
How did you grow up reading X-Men comics and not know Iceman was in the X-Men?
Me: "Just lucky, I guess."
RL shakes head and leaves.
Subscriber: What are these buttons?
Me: Oh, they're the Doomsday Clock.
M: You remember how DC did the New 52 a few years ago.
M: And then, after 52 issues, they rebooted everything again?
M: Well, it turns out The New 52 was a pocket universe designed by Dr. Manhattan and--"
S: Please delete all DC titles from my subscription.
M: Sure thing.