Events "Organizer" At Venue, March 11th:
"Hi, I'm looking to run an event at my space and your name was given to me as a possible organizer. We have a diverse community" (read: white people in their forties AND fifties) "interested in diverse entertainment. Since April is National Poetry Month, we were hoping you could put together a show for us. Thanks in advance, Name Redacted."
Me: "Hi, Name Redacted. Thanks for the e-mail. What sort of budget do you have for this show? How long were you hoping it would go for? Is there a content restriction (language, mature themes, etc.)? What day/date were you looking for? April is a very busy time for poets. Many of them may already be booked for the entire month, but if you can send me a budget and more of an idea of what type of show you'd like to put on within the next week, I can probably line up a show. But right now, I don't have enough info to commit to anything. Thanks for keeping me in mind, and I hope we can work together to put on a great show. --Adam"
Event "Organizer" At Venue, April 13th:
"Hi Adam, thank you for your e-mail. We don't have it in our budget to pay anyone at this time, but might be able to for future events. We set aside this Thursday, April 16th for your show. Please send a list of performers, and we'll put the event up on our website. Cheers, Name Redacted."
Me: "Sorry, Name Redacted, Four days is not adequate time to put a show together. I wish you luck on future events. --Adam"
EOAV: "Can you suggest someone else to run this event?"
Me: "No. Four days is not adequate time put a show together. I wish you luck on future events."
Happy National Poetry Month, everyone!