Me: Hey, I don't want to cut you off, but I'm meeting up with my roommate to go see the new Logan movie.
Dude: Fine. Abandon me in my moment of crisis
Me: It's not a crisis. Just. I don't know. Figure it out. You don't want to be forty and heavily identifying with Kelly Clarkson lyrics.
Dude: I'm thirty-two. YOU'RE almost forty.
Me: I've got to go.
Dude: Oh, do you have to go see the matinee version of OLD MAN LOGAN.
Me: Just remember, when he breaks up with you. It's your fault, and you're going to die alone. WELL BEFORE YOU REACH FORTY.