Loud Talking Man who was speaking to himself about spiders has gone outside to do Loud Tech Support over speakerphone, complete with the whole "HAVE YOU TURNED IT OFF AND ON AGAIN? BUT HAVE YOU TRIED IT? TRY IT! I SAID TURN IT OFF AND -- HELLO? HELLO? DID YOU? HELLO?" -a brief wondrous minute of silence- "HI. NO. NO. I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR PHONE. DON'T TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. YOUR COMPUTER. HAVE YOU TURNED YOUR COMPUTER OFF AND -- HELLO?"
I picked a lousy day to leave my flamethrower at home.