Regular I Actually Like: "Hey Adam, how's it going?"
Me: "Ok. How about you?"
RIAL: "Not so great. I missed my bus this morning, and by the time I got to the coffehouse, there weren't any seats, so I had to stand in the corner, and some guy spilled hot espresso all over my pants. I went into the bathroom to clean it off and take a whiz, and even though I locked the door behind me, one of the employees used her key to get in, and she startled me so much that I fell against the toilet and peed on my shoe. And, just now, when I was crossing the street, a car almost ran me over."
Me: "Wow. Sorry you're having such a terrible Saturday. I hope your day improves."
And that's when the Mechagodzilla action figure fell on him, and he screamed really loudly.