One of the cumstains I picked up in bar came over to my house. I had no plans to fuck him, we were just going to hang out, and chill. While I was in the kitchen, grabbing us some malt beverages, I hear him going through my magazine rack. "Oooooh." He says, picking up a magazine "I've never even heard of this before. Schoolgay Today? Sounds hot."
"That's Psychology Today, pervert."
Turns out the guy was completely illiterate. He couldn't even read the signs that said "You're not getting any."