I got to work earlyish, to find five large boxes waiting for me. Clearly not our usual delivery. As soon as I lugged the first one in, our actual delivery showed up.
Delivery Guy: "Are you cheating on us?"
Me: "Yes. Every Sunday night I call our distributor and suggestively whisper to them that they're not an evil, incompetent monopoly, and they reward me by sending me giant boxes of shit to count."
DG: "I knew you got off on checking invoices."
Other Delivery Guy: "Haven't you seen his t-shirt? 'Cardboard makes me hard as a board'?"
Me: "Well, no one's topping that. I'll be going home now."