I was supposed to be in Connecticut with Racist grandma today, but at some point during the last 48 hours, a group of Minuits (mini-Inuits) has climbed into my ears and have begun to pack my sinuses with snow and sand. Don't think Racist Grandma won't find some vitriol to spit at you, Minuits! In the congestedwhile, I'm going to pack my body full of medication (which I never do, so that when I do use it, it's generally effective) and extinctuate you.
The Four Most Logical Reasons I could be sick:
1.) Voodoo curse.
2.) I spent a few hours with Zach a few days ago. Zach was sick. As everyone around me has been sick at some point during the last couple of months, I assumed my AISS (Auto-Immune Superiority Syndrome) would protect me from his plague, as it had been protecting me from my friends' versions of the plague. I neglected to take into account that I hadn't put any parts of my other friends' bodies into my mouth.
3.) The weather has been completely bipolar for the last couple of weeks. We'll have a beautiful Springlike morning, and by noon it will be snowing, by two it will be sleeting, and by four it will be shorts weather. Add to this confusion that I've been going in and out of the various stores I work at. Some with their heat jacked up, some with the doors open, and some with the AC on.
4.) Bruce Wayne is upset that I spent several hours yesterday putting up flyers in support of Harvey Dent For District Attorney, and sprayed me with some viral mace from his utility belt.