Racist Piece Of Shit Comic Guy On Phone: "Do you guys buy comics."
Me: "It really depends. Your best bet is to call after six and ask for My Boss. Also, have a list ready of what you have."
RPOSCGOP: "Oh, I got that list. Spider-Man #1. It's appraised. It's got no creases. I know exactly what it's worth."
RPOSCGOP: "Do you think he'll be interested?"
Me: "I have no idea. Call back after six."
RPOSCGOP: "Some (racial epithet) in Quincy tried to (mixed metaphor racial epithet) me out of my money, flipping fast through the pages. I was all What Are You Doing Guy?"
Me: "Ah. That would be My Friend, Tom."
RPOSCGOP: "Tell Tom to stop trying to (second racial epithet from previous statement) people out of money. I know how much these go for at auction. You can't bullshit me."
Me: "Well, selling it to a store is different from selling it at auction because the store Also has to make money, so they're not going to pay you the same amount they're going to sell the book for. They wouldn't make any money that way."
RPOSCOP: "Oh, I know guy. But this guy was totally trying to (previous racial epithet) me."
Me: "Well, call back after six. I'm excited to hear what you think of our owner."
RPOSCOP: "I just don't even want to take it out of the safe deposit box if I'm not going to make $100,000."
Me: *laughing* "Good Luck."
I hope the bank holding his safe deposit box burns down (partially because banks deserve to burn), and that he sees the flames, speedwalks to the bank, and is run over by a television crew on his way there.