When airing dirty laundry, make sure to describe it properly. No, I didn't break up with my most recent ex because he slept on Pokemon sheets, they were just one of the many neon signals that we weren't a good match. The manipulative lying, the partial indecisiveness (he couldn't complete anything), and the fact that all of my friends have been telling me for over a year to get around him were other factors. Also, technically, he dumped me. Via e-mail. Twatwaffle.
The Pokemon sheets were a factor, though. Eleven year age differences are entirely too much to deal with, which is why the guy I'm currently crushinating on, is only nine years younger than me. Shut up.
As it turns out Zack and I have much in common. We've both lived in Arizona, we both hate nice people, we've both slept with Mr. Hot Positive Load (though only one of us got The Applause), we both love watching trainwreck comedy, and we're both awesome.
You have no idea what a relief it is to spend hours talking with a guy, have sex, and not immediately start writing a bad_sex entry in my head. Although...
After we got done, in the midst of perhaps the best cuddle of the current millennium, Zack said "I have something I want to say, but there's no way for it not to be weird."
I knew this was too perfect to be real.
Awww. "You know," I said, "on the list of weird things people have said to me in bed, that doesn't even rate."
He giggled. "Hot positive load."
"I once dated a guy who said 'You're better than my brother.'"
And then we give each other walking tours of our previous lust lives, mine ending with Sora. "I mean, the Pokemon sheets. Pokemon. I asked if he had anything that wouldn't make me feel like a child molester, and he mentioned having Digimon sheets. Which is less okay. Anyhow, sex with him was weird anyway. He was really good at it, but whenever he came, he used to say 'Squirtle!'"*
And then we laughed until the sun crawled in through the window, desperate to explore the gaps between my chin and his neck, and the knot of our fingers.
*-this is not true, at all