Random Loiterer: "Is this the thing he likes?"
Me: "Are you talking to me?"
Me: "Is what the thing who likes?"
RL: "My friend Daniel likes that thing...you know?"
Me: "No. No idea. You should call him and find out."
RL: "Her. Danielle."
Me: "Ok. You should call her."
RL: "But it's supposed to be a surprise."
Me: "Well, if you want me to pick out a gift for this person I don't know based on not knowing what she likes, then I'm pretty sure it will be a surprise for her. I just can't guarantee she'll like it."
RL: "Can you wrap it?"
She hasn't actually selected anything to wrap.
Me: "Nope. No wrapping paper. But they sell some around the corner."
RL: "Oh, but then she'll see it. This is a bummer. This whole day is a total bummer. Poor Danielle."
Danielle needs to get better friends.