I'm headed to The Homeland tomorrow to do some family things, so I've stayed late in the store, hoping there will be no reason for anyone to call me tomorrow and ask me for work help.
I just went out to get a drink, and came back to find someone pulling on the door. I waited for him to move a reasonable distance away, and then I began to unlock it.
Random Entitled Person: "Oh good, you've got the keys!"
Me: "Sorry all the businesses in the building are closed."
REP: "I just need to pick something up real quick."
Me: "Sorry. The stores all closed at seven. It's nine. All the cash has been deposited, the credit cards are batched. Nobody could sell you anything, even if I let you inside." This is a list of lies.
REP: "I just need to get one book. I could give you some extra cash, and you could keep all of it. You'd be doing me a huge favor."
Me: "I can't. I'm just the maintenance guy." Lies. Lies. Lies.
REP: "I really need an economy book before class tomorrow."
I didn't even know there were classes going on in the middle of August.
Me: "Someone would have to print that for you."
REP: "Yea. Could you do that?"
Me: "Could the maintenance guy go into a printing business, find the files you need for your class, print them out, collate them, and sell them to you without the business that he doesn't technically work for finding out and firing him?"
REP: "I'll give you ten extra bucks."
Me: "Here's an economics lesson for free. Your ten dollars can go fuck themselves."
I close the door, lock it, and go chill out of the lines of sight for a few minutes before returning to work.
I am curious as to how the copy place across the hall is going to respond, should the kid complain about "the rude maintenance guy".
(There is no maintenance guy for our building, we all clean our own spaces, so nobody is going to get in trouble at my expense.)