As I was walking by one of my tables, preparing to ask them if they wanted desert I hear the sentence: "Worst case scenario, I end up in prison getting butt-raped all day." The woman across from him says "That's worst case scenario?" I say "Would you like some more Sprite?" and then run away.
For the rest of the night, every time I went over to the table, they would be saying something like, "I really liked the movie Black Hawk Down, did you see it?" and I would hear "And I really liked the movie Butt Rape Down, did you see it?" I almost said, while clearing their dishes, "Would you like me to butt-rape that salad up for you?"
They left me a really nice tip. For butt-rapers.