While I was waiting for a slice of pizza, a woman ran over to the counter from her seat. “Sir!!! Sir!!! Excuse me, there was an ONION on my pizza.”
"Oh, I gave you a slice of onion? I’m sorry."
"No, just one onion. I COULD HAVE DIED."
He steps back. “Are you allergic to onions?”
"No, but my cousin is."
(At the same time, in Montreal, a woman turns to a complete stranger. “Sir. I’m sorry for being an overreactionary douchecrumpet.”
The man steps back confused. “I…I didn’t notice. You’re an overreactionary douchecrumpet?”
"No, but my cousin is.")