The Conners In Considerably Fewer And Less Problematic Seasons, Season 2: House Of Horrors

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's current pro-Trump racist persona is so sad to people who loved the show.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're only one episode into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it was...fine. But it certainly opened the possibility that the show could be great again, but without any stupid red hats.

Each season, after the first one, included a Halloween episode because Roseanne loves that particular holiday. While this season slightly predates Darlene's impending "fade to black", it does contain two of the better Halloween episodes, thus making this season, officially, a Horror Season.

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Season 2:
House Of Horrors

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Episode 1: Boo!
Recessions are terrifying! And in the heart of the Bush Sr years, the economy was in the tank, and independent contractors like Dan Connor lived week to week, and being unemployed, like Roseanne, means doing truly horrific jobs like magazine subscription telemarketing. To lift their spirits, the Conners stage a Tunnel Of Terror in their house and Roseanne and Dan battle to see who will be crowned the King/Queen of Halloween. See also The Conjuring.

Episode 2: Come Together
Halloween has nothing on Thanksgiving, when it comes to terror. Extended family. Tryptophan. The prospect of Uncle Creepy Touch and Racist Grandma imparting their various shades of incorrect wisdom to the next generation. Count me out. This episode is the first time we meet the previous generation of Harrises and Conners as both sets of grandparents show up to ruin the holiday. See also Addams Family Values.

Episode 3: Braindead Poets
Having spent most of the last twenty years tending bar at a poetry open mic/slam, I feel completely qualified to tell you that there is nothing more frightening than people performing poetry. Frightening? Boring? Annoying? All three? In this episode, jocky daughter Darlene is forced to read a poem she wrote at her school's culture night. See also Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The movie.

Episode 4: An Officer And A Gentleman
Anyone who thinks cops are only scary if you've commited a crime, hasn't watched the news in the last twenty years. Having given up her job in the plastic factory, along with Roseanne and Crystal, Jackie decided to become a cop. That only really factors into the title of this episode, as Roseanne has to deal with a family emergency, leaving Jackie and Dan in charge of the kids. See also The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.

Episode 5: April Fool's Day
Taxes! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! See also Shawshank Redemption.

Episode 6: Like A Virgin
You don't even need to have seen Scream to know that one of the surest ways to die in a slasher movie is to have sex. So Becky seems a prime candidate for a-slashin' in the Conner household. See also Hellraiser.

Episode 7: Like, A New Job
There are four major Nightmares that everyone seems to share: showing up to class naked, being in a play where you don't remember rehearsing, falling from a great height, and waiting tables in a restuarant where everything's gone wrong. Roseanne joins the waiting tables nightmare and adds to it by working at a mall, a job I wouldn't wish on anyone. Luckily, there are only about six malls left in The United States. See also Office Space.

Episode 8: Trick Or Treat
The second Halloween episode of the season focuses on gender in a progressive 90s way that is incredibly dated but inoffensive. See Dan try and figure out why he has a problem with his son dressing up as a witch. More importantly, see Roseanne infiltrate a tribe of toxic masculinity by dressing as a man. See also The Covenant.

Episode 9: Bird Is The Word
High School is an absolute nightmare all the time. Roseanne ends up getting called into the Principal's office (surprise, it's the guy from Law & Order) when one of her rebellious daughters is caught flipping the bird in the class photo. See also The Birds.

10: The Wedding
What would happen if one of your parents knocked up and married one of your childhood friends. Pretty Grimm way to end the season, huh? See also Twilight Saga: Eclipse.