The Best Of The Muppets In Seven Sweet Seasons, 1: The Muppet Show

I've been a Muppet fan for as long as I can remember. There are very few shows I can remember watching before my family moved to Cape Cod when I was five. It's basically The Muppet Show, some cartoons, and The Dukes Of Hazard (which I will not be doing a condensed guide for watching). Gonzo, Fozzy, Kermit, Animal, Piggy, and Zoot were my favorites growing up, and I'm not sure how much that's changed.

I'll be hosting a watchthrough on Discord of a Very Condensed history of the muppets. I have taken episodes of The Muppet Show, Muppets Tonight, Muppets, and Muppets Now, and yanked out the mediocre and worse sketches (and the ones that definitely didn't age well), and made new episodes with multiple human guest stars. I've tried to keep the feel of the shows by keeping a backstage storyline throughout most of the episodes, and put the guests in a balance of sort of chronological order/ones with thematic similarities. Yes, these episodes all exist. I gave them silly names, and they're all roughly a half hour with no commercials.

​Season One: The Muppet Show

101: Repair The Bear

Fozzy is convinced he's going to be replaced. This is Very Early Muppet Show time. Piggy's voice is very different. Gonzo looks a little more off than usual. Human Guest Stars are Joel Gray and Juliet Prowse. I didn't know either of them when I was a kid, and I don't have much sense of them outside of the show now.
 
Mah Na Mah Na: Mahna Mahna & The Snowths
Repair The Bear: Gonzo, Hilda, Fozzy
Swedish Meatballs: Swedish Chef
Temptation: Kermit, Piggy, Glee Club
Newsflash: Newsman
Scarf: Juliet Prowse & Zoot
Repair The Bear: Gonzo, Kermit, Fozzy
You & I & George: Rowlf
At The Dance: ensemble
Lydia The Tattoed Lady: Kermit The Frog, Lydia, Miss Piggy
Flight Of Bumblebee: Gonzo, Stadler, Waldorf
Zoot’s Solo: Zoot, Mahna Mahna, Nigel
Cabaret: Joel Grey & ensemble
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Kermit
Interview: Kermit & Joel Grey
Stormy Weather: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Kermit, Hilda, Piggy, George
Literalisms: Gonzo, Joel Grey
Repair The Bear: Fozzy, Gonzo, Kermit, Scooter
1812 Overture: Gonzo
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Stadler, Waldorf

---

102. The Mechanical Host

The series long gag of The Muppet Show was that The Muppets were renting a theater owned by Scooter's uncle, and they were constantly behind in paying the rent. In this episode the as yet unnamed uncle decides to replace Kermit with a robot frog. Human guest stars are Ruth Buzzi, Jim Neighbors, Rita Moreno, and Florence Henderson. 

Too Good To Be True: Ruth Buzzi, Sweetums
Onions Make Me Cry: Rowlf
Mechanical Host: Kermit, Scooter
At The Dance: Ensemble
Disappearing Clues: Rowlf, Piggy, Ensemble
Mechanical Host: Kermit
Row Row Row: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Running Gag: Fozzy & Kermit
To Morrow: Whatnots
Lady Of Spain: Marvin Suggs & Muppephones
Newsflash: Newsman
Mechanical Host: Kermit & Piggy
Bakery Watchman: Jim Neighbors, Rowlf & Ensemble
Fever: Rita Moreno & Electric Mayhem
Koosbane Courtship: Kermit & Koosbanians
Happy Together: Florence Henderson & lizard muppets

---

​103. The Language Of Love

Piggy falls in love with a guest star, Gonzo's act gets cancelled, and the chaos of the show finally breaks Rowlf. Human guest stars include Harvey Korman, Lena Horne, Paul Williams, and Charles Aznovour.

RaggMopp:  Mops & George
Coddleston Pie: Rowlf
Circus Monster: Harvey Korman & Thog
I Get A Kick Out Of You: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
I Feel Pretty: Whatnot
No Act For Gonzo: Kermit & Gonzo
Newsflash: Newsman & Lena Horne
Muppet Labs: Honeydew
Silence: Rowlf
Anything Cheaper: Paul Williams & Beautiful Day Monster
Interview: Charles Aznovour
Spaghett: Swedish Chef
Pop Goes The Weasel: Gonzo, Animal & Lena Horne
Says You: Fozzy, Stadler, Waldorf
Finding My Key: Lena Horne, Hilda & Animal
Inchworm: Charles Aznovour

---

104. The Banana Sketch

Fozzy has hired a big time Vaudeville writer to write his jokes and acts, including the world famous Banana Sketch, which everyone in the world has heard of, except for Kermit. Sandy Duncan is the star of this episode, which also features Peter Ustinov.

Why So Sad?: Sandy Duncan, Sweetums, Behemoth
Nobody: Gonzo & Rowlf
Never Smile At A Crocodile: Mary Louise, frogs, crocodiles
Banana Sketch: Kermit, Fozzy & Gonzo
Falling Leaves: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Round Table Psychiatry: Kermit, Piggy, Cynthia Birdsley, Peter Ustinov
Not Easy Being Green: Kermit, Scooter
Interview: Sandy Duncan, Kermit & Fozzy
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Duck, Kermit
At The Dance: Ensemble
My Own Grandpa: The Gogolala Jubilee Band

---

105. Gonzo For Piggy

We all seem to willingly accept Piggy's toxic obsession with Kermit The Frog but what happens when the shoe is put on the other hoof, and Piggy has to deal with Gonzo's unwanted affection? Pus, a whole bunch of Electric Mayhem, as they debate quitting because of the square musical direction of the show. Featuring Ethyl Merman and Kaye Ballard but it's mostly just muppets.

Mr Bassman: Scooter & Electric Mayhem
Gonzo For Piggy: Gonzo, Piggy, Fozzie
Tit Willow: Rowlf & Sam The Eagle
Searchin’: Floyd & Ensemble
Floyd Quits: Kermit & Floyd
A Little Samba: Kaye Ballard, Piggy, Electric Mayhem
Gonzo For Piggy:  Piggy & Gonzo
Interview: Kermit, Piggy & Ethyl Merman
Gonzo For Piggy: Gonzo, Piggy & Kermit
Paper Moon: Sam The Eagle, Wayne & Wanda
Vendaface: Waldorf
Floyd Unquits: Floyd & Kermit
At The Dance: Ensemble
Floyd’s New Theme: Kermit & Electric Mayhem

---

106. Vaudevilluminous

The Muppets reliance on Vaudeville style acts and humor were both the greatest and worst parts of the show, and that's on full display here when Milton Berle acts as the main guest. We also see the beginnings of Gonzo's obsession with chickens as he moves on from Piggy.


Relaxed On The Inside: Whatnot
Uncle Milty: Milton Berle, Kermit, Fozzy, Gonzo
Milton vs Hecklers: Milton Berle, Statler, Waldorf, Gonzo
Pigs In Space:  Hogthrob, Strangepork, Piggy
Uncle Milty: Fozzy, Kermit
Newsflash: Newsman
Tear Down Theater: Piggy, JP Gross, Kermit
The Entertainer: Milton Berle, Rowlf, Fozzy, Scooter, Piggy, Lydia, Ensemble
Tear Down Theater: Gonzo, Kermit
Veterinarians At The Dance: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Ensemble
Muppet Labs: Honeydew & Beaker
Chicken Auditions: Gonzo, Kermit
Top Banana: Milton, Fozzy, Kermit
Chicken Auditions: Gonzo, Rowlf
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Jaice, Fozzy
Dancing Chicken: Gonzo, Lolita, Kermit

---

107. Immodest Proposal

Gonzo is taking it slow with chickens, and uses this episode to try his luck with Madeline Khan. Meanwhile, Kermit has to deal with a tabloid reporter twisting his words about the Muppets. Also featuring George Burns and Bernadette Peters.

Happy Feet: Kermit
Yodeling Clam: Gonzo, Madeline Khan, Scooter
Lobster Banditos: Swedish Chef
Down At Papa Joe’s: Chickens, Statler, Waldorf
Scandal Sheets: Kermit, Fleet Scribbler, Gonzo
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice
Party All The Time: Electric Mayhem
Old Stories: George Burns, Gonzo
We Have No Bananas: Marvin Suggs, Veggie Choir, Kermit, Floyd, Animal
Proposal: Gonzo, Kermit
Newsflash: Newsman
Up Up & Away: Rowlf
Someone Else But Me: Gonzo, Madeline Khan, Kermit
I Won’t Dance: Kermit, Piggy, Ensemble
Ant & Grashopper: Sam The Eagle
Believe In You: Bernadette Peters, Robin, Kermit, Ensemble
Newsflash: Newsman
Scandal Sheets: Kermit, Scooter, Swedish Chef, Fleet Scribbler
You Made Me Love You: George Burns, Rowlf, Piggy, Gonzo, Ensemble

---

108. Whatnot Stew

A fairly random assortment of sketches without much of a theme to hold them all together. Lou Rawls, Julie Andrews, Theresa Brewster, Cloris Leachman, and John Cleese join in the chaos.

Sea Shanties: Hogthrob, Fozzy, Robin, Scooter, Gonzo
Walking Animal: Lou Rawls, Animal, Floyd
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Animal Bowling: Kermit, Floyd, Gonzo, Scooter
Interview: Julie Andrews, Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo
Dance With Me: Gonzo, Ensemble
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Interview: Lou Rawls, Kermit, Electric Mayhem
Frog Legs: Swedish Chef, Kermit, Robin, Scooter     
Autographs: Theresa Brewster, Kermit, Animal, Crazy Harry
Popcorn: Swedish Pig
Spinning Wheel: Theresa Brewster, Sweetums, Statler, Waldorf
Just In Time: Cloris Leachman, Sweetums, Doglion
Drunk On TV: Kermit, Koosbanians
Closing Number: John Cleese, Kermit, Sweetums, Ensemble

---

109. Weirdo Musicians

One of my favorite episodes. Rudolf Nuryev is all sorts of goofy, Cleo Lane blows Electric Mayhem out of the water, and Elton John is an absolute delight.

Classy Intro: Sam The Eagle, Kermit, Scooter, Robin
Swine Lake: Rudolf Nuryev, Giant Pig
Fozzy’s Mom: Fozzy, Kermit
Ain’t Got That Swing: Cleo Lane, Electric Mayhem
Pigs In Space: Hogthrob, Strangepork, Fozzy, Piggy, pigs
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, pig
Fozzy’s Mom: Fozzy, Kermit
Weirdo Musicians: Sam The Eagle, Kermit, Swedish Chef, Camilla, Scooter
Crocodile Rock: Elton John, Ensemble, Swedish Chef, Scooter
Phrenology: Fozzy, Kermit
Benny & The Jets: Elton John, Scooter, Kermit, Ensemble
Pigs In Space: Hogthrob, Strangepork, Piggy, Swedish Chef, Camilla

---

110. Stuck On You

Another of my all time favorite episodes. Gilda Radner and Jean Stapleton both go all in on this episode. Plus Pearl Bailey sings with Electric Mayhem.

Daffodils: Piggy, Rowlf
Carrots Of Penzance: Gilda Radner, Kermit, Carrot, Fozzy
Multiplication Tables: Gonzo, Kermit, Gladys, Camilla
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Good Ol Summertime: Pearl Bailey & Floyd
Interview: Sam The Eagle, Jean Stapleton, Swedish Chef
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Gilda Radner, Beaker
Melodrama: Deathly, Piggy, Wayne
Wild About Harry: Jean Stapleton, Crazy Harry
Tap Your Troubles Away: Gilda Radner, Electric Mayhem, Beaker

---

111. Railroaded

The Muppet Theater is closed for repairs, so the cast films the episode at a not actually abandoned railyard. Chaos, naturally, ensues. Loretta Lynn is actually at the railroad, while we do get some recorded studio time with Harry Belafonte and Raquel Welch.

Platform 2: Loretta Lynn, Scooter
All Alone: Piggy, Ensemble
Newsflash: Newsman, pig
Fozzy At The Dance: Fozzy, Kermit, Floyd, Ensemble
Backstage: Kermit, Gonzo, Camilla
Banana Boat Song: Harry Belaftone, Fozzy, Ensemble
Track 2: Kermit, Gonzo, Scooter, Fozzy
Chicken In Basket: Swedish Chef, Camilla
Sentimental Journey: Gonzo, Kermit
W-o-m-a-n: Raquel Welch, Piggy
Better Seating: Statler, Waldorf
Oncoming Train: Gonzo, Kermit
Drum Battle: Harry Belafonte, Animal
Rhyming Song: Fozzy, Scooter, Hogthrob, Peggyanne
Muppet Sports: Louis Kazagger 

---

112. Smorgasbored

Statler and Waldorf are "missing" (they're actually behind the theater, avoiding a guest star) and the main behind the scenes drama is that some of the skits are going poorly and the guest stars are trying to figure out a way to make them better. Featuring Danny Kaye, Leslie Uggams, James Coco, and Cheryl Ladd.

Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork
Missing Hecklers: Kermit, Floyd, Danny Kaye, Statler, Waldorf, Scooter
Eight Little Notes: Rowlf
Crossover: Piggy, Big Bird
Here We Go Again: Leslie Uggams, Lew Zealand
Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork
Razzle Dazzle: James Coco, Kermit, Swedish Chef
Banana Split: Swedish Chef, dancers
Catch A Falling Star: Wayne, Scooter, James Coco, dancers
Flying Zucchini Bros: Kermit, Beauregard
Tea For Two: Rowlf, Lew Zealand
Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork, Swedish Chef, Janice, Kermit
Blue Skies: prairie dogs
New Sound: Scooter
I Enjoy Being A Girl: Cheryl Ladd, Piggy, Kermit
Backlot: Danny Kaye, Statler, Waldorf, Scooter

---

​113. Scary Good Halloween Special

The first of two Halloween specials, this is mainly The Vincent Price Show with Candice Begern, Ben Vereen, and Phyllis Diller also playing with a mostly monster muppet cast.

Put Another Log On The Fire: Candice Bergen, Ensemble
Letter For You:  Fozzy, Kermit & Scooter
Bewitched: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Culture & Cuisine: Vincent Price, Kermit, Pierre Lescous, Gorgon Heath
At The Dance: Ensemble
Tenderly: Electric Mayhem
Pepper Sauce: Swedish Chef
Mr Cellophane: Ben Vereen
Interview: Vincent Price & Kermit
Some Enchanted Evening:  Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda, Gorgon Heath
You Are My Sunshine: Whatnots
At The Dance: Ensemble
Furniphobia: Newsman
Note For You: Kermit, Fozzy
Veterinarian’s Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Bohemoth, Kermit
Pocket Camera: Phyllis Diller & Gonzo
You’ve Got A Friend: Vincent Price & Deadly
It's Not Where You Start, It's Where You Finish: Rowlf & Scooter

---

114. A Very Muppets Nightmare

Alice Cooper keeps the scary vibes and monster muppets going, and even allows Marisa Barington and Liberace to participate in the season finale.

Welcome To Nightmare: Alice Cooper, monster muppets, Kermit
Canteen Scene: Gonzo, Gladys, Animal, Kermit, Floyd
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Faustian Deal: Kermit, Gonzo, Scooter
Muppet Sports: Louis Kazagger
Veterinarians Hospital: Swedish Chef, Rowlf, Janice, Piggy
Chopsticks: Liberace
Once A Year Day: monster muppets
Our House: Marisa Barington
Jamboree: Gonzo, Ensemble
Another Thing: teeth
Weirdo Musicians: Sam The Eagle, Alice Cooper
School’s Out: Alice Cooper

---

Human Guest Stars Who Didn't Make The Cut: Connie Stevens, Bruce Forsythe, Avery Schriver, Valerie Harper, Twiggy, Mummenschanz, Don Knotts, Zero Mostel, Rich Little, Judy Collins, Nancy Walker, Edgar Bergen, Steve Martin, Dom Deluise.

Don't feel bad for those last three, they all show up in  The Muppet Movie​.