Star Trek Headcanon Reimagined, 7: Keeping Up With The Cardassians

This is about as focused a season of Star Trek as you're ever likely to see. We begin with a look into Ferengi culture, which is usually presented with disdain by hu-mons and other members of The Federation but put on your No-Bigotry glasses and check out Quark's perspective and how it does and doesn't properly reflect Ferengi culture.

But the big focus of the season is The Cardassian/Bajoran conflict. Yes, it's The Heart of Deep Space Nine's first couple of seasons, but we're also going to explore it via The Enterprise, as Ensign Ro joins the crew, giving us some non-Kira Bajoran perspective. A lot goes down in the conflict this season, as we're introduced to the Bajoran terrorist cell called The Maquis, who are going to be a big part of Voyager, which well dive into next season.

This is a tired joke but I enjoy the art.

Season 7:
Keeping Up With The Cardassians

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​ TNG - The Next Generation, 1987-94          DS9  - Deep Space Nine, 1993-99       
 ENT - Enterprise, 2001-05

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701-02: Unification (TNG)
(Picard, Spock, Data, Riker, Worf, Laforge, Crusher, Troi, Sarek, Gowran, Sela)

Woohoo! It's Spock on TNG. But, um, has he defected to the Romulan side of the Vulcan/Romulan conflict? And what does this have to do with Tasha Yar's Romulan daughter or Spock's father?


703. Acquisition (ENT)
(Archer, Tucker, T'Pol, Phlox, Reed, Sato, Mayweather)

Tucker is the only crew member of The Enterprise conscious when they're invaded by an alien race seeking to loot their ship. No bonus points for guessing it's Ferengi.


704. The Nagus (DS9)
(Quark, Sisko, Kira, Odo, Nagus, Bashir, Jake, O'Brien, Dax,  Rom, Nog, Zek)

It's time to learn about Ferengi culture with the station's favorite bartender, and a slew of strangers who may be important down the line. Also, O'Brien is substitute teacher for his wife's school.


705. Duet (DS9)
(Kira, Sisko, Bashir, Odo, Gul Dukat, Dax, Quark)

Someone who appears to be a Cardassian war criminal with ties to Kira's past shows up on Deep Space Nine. Kira wants him tried on Bajor, Gul Dukat wants him returned to the Cardassians.  Despite a moderately weak and predictable ending, most of this episode is a very interesting look at the guilt of not-necessarily-innocent bystanders during acts of war.


706-708. The Homecoming/The Circle/The Seige (DS9)
(Kira, O'Brien, Sisko, Odo, Bashir, Dax, Quark, Rom, Keiko)

A Bajoran resistance group called The Splinter comes to play in the war with The Cardassians. Their plans to rise to power include eliminating all alien life on Bajor, including the non-Bajoran staff on Deep Space Nine.


709. Ensign Ro (TNG)
(Picard, Ro, Guinan, Riker, Data, Worf, Crusher, Troi, Laforge)

Starfleet shenanigans put a court martialed officer of a race made refugee by The Cardassians on The Enterprise. It's an interesting look at prejudice, and how politicians use terrorism and tragedy for their own ends. Something Star Trek often attempts, but rarely pulls off.


710. Disaster (TNG)
(Picard, O'Brien, Ro, Troi, Riker, Data, Crusher, Laforge, Worf)

Several disaster movie cliches are overlapped in the most character-driven episode since "Family". The O'Brien/Ro/Troi interplay is my favorite non-main character study so far in the chronology. Also, it's nice to see a story where kids are just annoying children as opposed to spooky, powerful menaces.


711. Cardassians (DS9)
(Bashir, Sisko, O'Brien, Garak, Gul Dukat, Keiko, Odo)

A Cardassian orphaned child raised by Bajorans ends up in the middle of a custody dispute. I really enjoy the writing on Deep Space Nine, but like most Star Trek shows, the episodes are usually pretty well telegraphed. This one doesn't have any M Night Shyamalan twists, it just doesn't take the easiest way out.


712. Cause And Effect (TNG)
(Picard, Riker, Crusher, Data, Worf, Laforge, Ro)

Another time loop episode! How will they figure their way out of the loop this time?


713.  Conundrum (TNG)
(Picard, Riker, Worf, Data, Troi, Crusher, Laforge, Ro)

A strange ship begins scanning the Enterprise, and then suddenly no one in the crew knows who they are. They still retain all of their skills and talents but they can't place their own identities. Then they are told Starfleet is being threatened by a technologically impaired alien race, and they must completely wipe them out.


714. Rules Of Acquisition (DS9)
(Quark, Kira, Dax, Nagus, Sisko, Rom, Odo)

Staying with The Deep Space Nine crew, but taking a break from all the Cardassian/Bajoran problems, we focus on the Ferengi bartender of the ship as he attempts to expand Ferengi business contacts to the other side of the Wormhole. Most of the focus of this episode is on gender politics in Ferengi culture, which is wildly misogynist, even for a Star Trek species. Also, his brother is a moron. And his even more misogynist mentor thinks intelligent Ferengi females are "inconceivable", though he may not know what that word means.


715. Next Phase (TNG)
(Ro, Laforge, Picard, Crusher, Riker, Data, Worf)

From aging to death. And, once again, a transporter is at the center of it, as Ro and Laforge are believed dead, but have actually been phased in such a way that they can observe the crew but can not be observed, except by each other. 


716. Preemptive Strike (TNG)
(Ro, Picard, Riker, Troi, Crusher, Worf, Data)

Newly promoted Lieutenant Ro goes undercover in a Maquis terrorist cell. But will she go rogue and leave the Federation to help her Bajoran brethren battle the Cardassians? Nah, this is a Star Trek episode. I'm sure everything will go back to status quo by the end.


717 & 718. The Maquis (DS9)
(Sisko, Dax, Gul Dukat, Quark, Bashir, Kira)

In the last episode, we learned of The Maquis, a Bajoran terrorist cell that will begin to reform the Star Trek universe. Now we see the group the lens of Deep Space Nine.


719. The Wire (DS9)
(Bashir, Garak, Dax, Quark, Sisko, Kira, O'Brien)

Garak is either a spy, or a Cardassian going against stereotype to assist the federation. It's always been unclear which side he's on, but, unlike Gul Dukat, there seems to be no menace to him. But when Doctor Bashir discovers a malfunctioning chip in Garak's head, he decides to go further into his investigation of Garak's motives.


720. Collaborator (DS9)
(Kira, Odo, Dax, O'Brien, Quark, Videk Winn, Sisko)

Bajorans working with Cardassians must mean shenanigans. And look at how many people AREN'T in this episode. No Bashir, no Dukat, no Garak, no Jake, even Captain Sisko is barely in this episode. She. nanigans.