The Crooked Treehouse
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Tips From The Bar
 
 
Almost every week, I give a prompt for poets.
Many of the  2011/2012 blog post titles are from the brain of Simone Beaubien.
Photo by Marshall Goff.

Zeus's Staging Of Swan Lake Is Not Suitable for Children

12/27/2017

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​In religious lore and mythological fables, there are often stories of gods coming to Earth in disguise to learn more about humanity. If you were a god, what disguise would you use, and how do you believe this would help you discover more about us oh so interesting creatures? Alternately, if you were Not The Least Bit Interested In Humans, what would you hope to learn during your time on Earth?
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The Petty Revenge Prompt

12/20/2017

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Forget its temperature, revenge is a dish based served only in your imagination, where it won't impact your life, your job, or what your friends think of you. But the plotting of revenge against someone who has wronged you seems so good.

Write a very specific, non-violent revenge scheme against someone that you would never do. Then tell us about it, because telling us about it makes it much less likely for you to get overtired and try to make your scheme a reality.

What prompted me to think of this was finding out that someone who worked in an independent bookstore was ranting online about how customers weren't picking up their books, and how bad that was for independent booksellers. Meanwhile, this person has over three hundred dollars worth of books they hadn't picked up at the independent bookseller I work at.

I very publicly claimed I was going to go to their store during a shift when I knew they'd be working, and turn an entire shelf of books spine-in so that you couldn't tell what any of the books were, and it nearby and watch them try to rearrange them back to their proper order.

​I'm NEVER going to do this. But it felt very therapeutic to say that I would.
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If you see a bookshelf like this in a house you're visiting, RUN. This is the shelf of a sociopath and/or a murderer.
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The Whammegedon Prompt

12/13/2017

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Growing up as a kid who did a lot of theatre and choirs, I learned to hate Christmas music. I don't mind singing it, and if there was, say three days out of the year where the songs were prevalent, I would probably love them. But those Poor Me We're So Discriminated Against Christians push their shitty, forgettable spirituals on us for an entire month of the year and it sucks.

It's great if you like that kind of schmaltz, but for those of us who are just trying to grab a Lyft to work, we don't want to hear the Destiny's Child forty-five minute Christmas Medley, or the trap remix of The Twelve Days Of Christmas. I stopped buying Christmas gifts for people because I can't stand going into stores where they being blasting "Holiday Music" (99% Christian) before Thanksgiving even rolls around.

For the last couple of years, I've had friends play The Little Drummer Boy Challenge, where you try and see if you can make it from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve without hearing a single ba-rum-pum-pum. This year, I also saw Whamageddon making the rounds, which is a more specific challenge: make it from Thanksgiving to christmas Eve without hearing Wham's recording of "Last Christmas".

I'm not linking any of these songs because I care about you.

Well, for at least eleven months of the year, the Christmas music is largely irrelevant, but surely there's That One Song you can't stand that seems to follow you around. What is that song? How did you come to hate it? What's the worst time you have associated with it? Is there a good time associated with it? How would you discuss that song with the person who wrote it or made it famous?
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The RebeccaLynn Prompt

12/6/2017

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I know what you're thinking Two prompts about having lost prompts, and now you're saddling the week's prompt on another bartender?

No. I gave this prompt, but is in honor of RebeccaLynn, who who favors short, effective poems, over drawing out the drama in a poem.

So for this week, write an intense, emotional poem about your life that's going to be about 2/3rds of a page long, at most.

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    Links
    Write Or Die

    Scott Woods's Twitter Prompts

    ​Rachel Mckibbens' Prompt Blog

    The 30/30 Prompt Blog

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  • Tips From The Bar
  • Honest Conversation Is Overrated
  • Popcorn Culture
  • Comically Obsessed
  • Justify Your Bookshelves