Cute straight boys, nerdy punk rock animé haired boys, drunk bisexuals with tongue rings, Progaine Shampoo, key theft, butt grabbers, Livejournal, fetishism, Celeste, and Mortimer Velociraptor; the first part of this story was written for an Archie McPhee contest for embarrassing dating stories. I won. The final portion of the story won the hearts of Livejournal fans, as their favorite Insafemode Journal entry of 2004. I have altered it a bit, for continuity's sake, and because I hated it.

The convention mentioned is, yes, the 2003 National Poetry Slam. Also, there is a line that ended up in Drunken Conversations At Hampshire College. 

Also, the chair I was using squeaks periodically. I was not harboring a duck fugitive.

Featuring Saint, David, Celeste, Mortimer Velociraptor, and a bunch of people you will never hear about again.

Intro Music: The Revenge Of The Nerd Song
Incidental Music: "The Geeks Were Right" by The Faint
Incidental Music: "What What In The Butt" by Samwell
Outro Music: "Shut Your Mouth" by Garbage

Adam moves to Burlington Vermont for reasons he's never been comfortable with. While up there, he sells fudge, goes to parties, talks to cats, coins the term "fucovehicuphobia", and ends up searching for a guy he didn't want to have sex with to begin with.

Featuring Ryan, Saint, Zuzu, and no one who will ever show up again.

Intro Music: "Fuck Your Face" by Phish
Incidental Music: "40" by U2
Incidental Music: "Get Miles" by Gomez
Incidental Music: "Siren noise" by police cars
Incidental Music: "Chirping" by crickets
Incidental Music: "Doppler Effect" by passing truck
Incidental Music "Running water" by someone's shower
Outro Music: "Saying Goodbye" by The Mippets

Illness and kidney stones bring Adam a special guest from South Carolina. A guest who will change everything, or at least some things. Plus, video games!

Featuring Rex, my mom, and people I'll never hear from again.

Intro Music: "Don't Talk, Just Kiss" by Right Said Fred
Incidental Music: "From The Heart Of Glass" a MadMixMustang mashup of Phillip Glass & Blondie
Incidental Music: " Brother" by Alice In Chains
Incidental Music: "Casually (Overworld Theme)" from Breath Of Fire 3
Incidental Music: "Donden (Metal Remix)" from breath Of Fire 3
Outro Music: "Pure Again (Ending Theme)" from Breath Of Fire 3

Is there really more to say than that this podcast contains two versions of My Chemical Romance's "Teenagers"? Don't get too worried, nothing illegal happens. And nothing any less moral than is usual on this blog.

Featuring Tommy and other characters you will never hear from again.

Intro Music: "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance
Incidental & Outro Music: "Teenagers" by Macy Gray