Dmitri goes dancing while Adam films an Alice In Wonderland short. Will anything happen before Dmitri has to return to Chicago? Will Adam follow him back to Chicago? Or will he go back to work and be sad about everything, including his weird friendship with Clarissa, his aversion to boysenberry syrup and Papa Roach, and his chance encounter with someone who may or may not be God.
Featuring: Dmitri, Celeste, Clarissa, Landlord, God, and others.
Intro Music: "Painting The Roses Red" from Alice In Wonderland
Incidental Music: "Wise Up (Sucker)" by Pop Will Eat Itself
Incidental Music: "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson
Incidental Music: "Sleep Alone" by Bat For Lashes
Incidental Music: "A Spoon Full Of After Hours" by Mary Poppins (Alyson Calagana Remix)
Outro Music: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
Having been politely asked to leave his apartment, Adam goes and interviews at a series of apartments that use the term "gay-friendly" in the apartment description, and ends up picking a place where the landlord offers FOOD in the RENT. Surely, this won't end badly. Also, Adam crush crushes and gets a phone call from a sort-of-ex who he hopes will crush him back. Lastly, the new landlord would like his tenants to leave signs, letting him know, at any given time, where they might be. The episode ends (perhaps abruptly) with ten possible places Adam might be when he's not home.
Featuring: Wiz, D, Landlord, David, and Alex.
Intro Music: "I'm Broke" by Black JoeLewis & The Honeybears
Incidental Music: "Where Did We Go Wrong?" by Toni Braxton & Babyface
Incidental Music: "The Theme From Kawaii Crush"
Outro Music: "Rattlesnakes (Dubstep Remix)" by Vexare
Ah, the joys of waiting tables. In this series of vignettes we encounter Cheese Fry Face, some people who have a very liberal understanding of the term "worst case scenario", The Jesus Card People, Giggles The Chowderhead, and the frat boys who prompted certain lines from the poem Drunken Conversations At Hampshire College. We then drop in Chez Wiz/D for stories about breath mints, peanut butter apples, and masturbation.
Features: David, Wiz, D, the servers and customers of Kookaburra Canyon, and a very confused neighbor.
Intro Music: "Tuesday Night" by Adam Hood
Incidental Music: "Brick Dick" a mashup of Mickey Avalon & The Commodores by DJ Magnet
Outro Music: "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol
Cute straight boys, nerdy punk rock animé haired boys, drunk bisexuals with tongue rings, Progaine Shampoo, key theft, butt grabbers, Livejournal, fetishism, Celeste, and Mortimer Velociraptor; the first part of this story was written for an Archie McPhee contest for embarrassing dating stories. I won. The final portion of the story won the hearts of Livejournal fans, as their favorite Insafemode Journal entry of 2004. I have altered it a bit, for continuity's sake, and because I hated it.
The convention mentioned is, yes, the 2003 National Poetry Slam. Also, there is a line that ended up in Drunken Conversations At Hampshire College.
Also, the chair I was using squeaks periodically. I was not harboring a duck fugitive.
Featuring Saint, David, Celeste, Mortimer Velociraptor, and a bunch of people you will never hear about again.
Intro Music: The Revenge Of The Nerd Song
Incidental Music: "The Geeks Were Right" by The Faint
Incidental Music: "What What In The Butt" by Samwell
Outro Music: "Shut Your Mouth" by Garbage
It's not Phyllis's fault that she's the worst behaved dog in the world, her owner has some serious social issues that include writing passive-aggressive notes, stealing mail, and forging signatures on checks! It's, somehow, not even Adam's worst ever roommate, though she was nominated! All this, plus Adam meets David, starts working at another Kookaburra Canyon, gets involved in a horrific blanket warfare with a straight Australian, and watches Y Tu Mama Tambien. Not, necessarily, in that order.
Featuring Zuzu, David, Melissa, Jerry, and Cindy.
Intro Music: The Theme song from the 70s sitcom Phyllis
Incidental Music: "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" by Etta Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Outro Music: "Don't Fuck With My Money" by Penguin Prison