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The X-Men franchise has had a few animated series, and is on their way to a sixth live action movie. But how would you put together a ten season live action show with continuity and including the best stories from the various X-books over the years? After all the problems at the school last season, Professor X hands the reigns of the school to a new generation. We also see a new class of students. Isn’t change wonderful? And by the end of this season, mutants will finally get everything they ever wanted. I’m sure it will be permanent.  Logan explores his sensitive side. Art by John Cassaday Season Six: Astonishing (Showrunners: Joss Whedon and Brian Michael Bendis) Serial 1: Astonishing X-Men By Joss Whedon & John Cassady Ultimate Collections Vol 1 & 2
(written by Joss Whedon, art by John Cassaday) Joss Whedon was supposed to take over the X-Men directly after Grant Morrison but things didn’t go as planned. That’s ok, though, his run with John Cassady is one of the finest X-arcs there is. Headmasters Emma Frost and Cyclops welcome Kitty Pride to the school and then shenanigans occur. Wonderful shenanigans. Many of them in space. Just read the whole run all the way through. It’s totally worth it. Gifted & Dangerous. 6 episodes Episode 7: X-Factor Madrox Multiple Choice (written by Peter David, art by Pablo Raimondi) After that fun but long serial, let’s step in and visit Multiple Man. This spectacular noir miniseries delves further into Jamie Madrox’s power. A man who can duplicate himself a large but finite amount of times learns some interesting skills. In this series he acts a detective for hire, teaming up with some of his old friends from the 90s X-Factor team. Multiple Choice. 1 episode Serial 2: New X-Men Academy X Vol 1 Choosing Sides, Wolverine Enemy Of The State, New X-Men Academy X Volume 3 X-Posed (written by Nunzio DeFilippis, Christina Weir, and Mark Millar, art by Randy Green, Staz Johnson, Michael Ryan, Rick Ketcham, and John Romita Jr) I avoided the classic New Mutant series because one can only read so much Claremont before one starts carving cuneiform on their arms and narrating their lives unnecessarily. “Now I am going the bathroom because that is a biological function humans have. Now I am flushing the toilet because human waste is gross and indoor plumbing, which was invented in…” you get the idea. But this adventure introduces us to a new generation of students (with some that were introduced during Morrison’s run) who have a much smaller scale story but with more serious consequences than the original New Mutants. I know I said there wouldn’t be any Wolverine but there is one Really Important storyline for all of the X- books. Enemy Of The State shows what happens when everyone’s favorite walking cutlery is brainwashed into being evil. Characters die and stuff. And the repercussions are felt in the next Academy X book. Choosing Sides. 4 episodes Episode 11: X-23 Target X (written by Craig Kyle and Christoper Yost, art by Mike Choi) We check back in with X-23 to see what happens when Captain America tries to help Stabby Jr. Also, Stabby Jr. meets Stabby Sr. as X-23 goes claws-to-claws with Wolverine. Target X. 1 episode Serial 3: Excalibur Forging The Sword, Excalibur Saturday Night Fever, House Of M Prelude: Excalibur (written by Chris Claremont, art by Aaron Lopestri) This period of X-Men comics was mainly written by Chuck Austen and Peter Milligan, and almost none of it is worth reading, but Chris Claremont picked up his old Excalibur title and helped set up this season’s huge event. In this series we see Professor X, Magneto, and some lesser known X-characters try and rebuild Genosha from the destruction in season five. But does Magneto have another motivation for being there? One that, maybe, isn’t even evil? Also, a bunch of X-Corps offices are attacked around the globe. Plus Genoshan humans are jerks, and Doctor Strange steps in to help fix The Wanda problem. Unfixable. 2 episodes Serial 4: House Of M (written by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Olive Coipel) But Doctor Strange fails, and thus House Of M. The Scarlet Witch alters all of reality so that every mutant gets everything they ever wanted. But that just isn’t enough for the greedy mutants, and their utopia, like everything else the X-men touch, falls apart. House Of M. 2 episodes Serial 5: Decimation The Day After, Decimation The 198 (written by Chris Claremont, Peter Milligan, and David Hine, art by Salvador Larroca, Randy Green, Jim Muniz, and Kevin Conrad) Three words from The Scarlet With in House Of M undid a whole mess of Morrison’s X-Men idea, and now there are only 198 Mutants left in the world. In this serial we see how the mutants’ lives are changed now that there aren’t so many of them. Featuring a ton of sentinels. Decimation . 2 episodes Serial 6: New X-Men Childhood’s End Volumes 1-3 (written by Craig Kyle & Christopher Yost, art by Mark Brooks and Paco Medina) But what about all those kids we met at the beginning of the season? In Childhood’s End we see how those kids live and die in the post-House of M world. Many are depowered and all of them are in serious risk of being killed. Plus, X-23 joins the Academy, and The New Avengers stop by to help the surviving mutants battle Nimrod. Childhood’s End. 2 episodes Season 6 is 20 episodes Interseason Special: X-Factor The Longest Night (written by Peter David, art by Ryan Sook and Dennis Calero) Picking up after House of M and Multiple Choice, Madrox’s detective agency goes from being in the thriving “Mutant Town” section of New York City to a city of depressed depowered mutants. The detectives need to solve a series of mutant related problems and do their best to handle the consequences when some of Jamie’s multiples go rogue. No, they don’t speak with a Southern accent and leech your powers.
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The X-Men franchise has had a few animated series, and is on their way to a sixth live action movie. But how would you put together a ten season live action show with continuity and including the best stories from the various X-books over the years? At its heart, The X-Men have been a small band of mutants brought together by Professor Charles Xavier. He’s a professor because he runs a school. A small school. A small private school for mutants. But when Marvel handed the reigns of their franchise to Grant Morrison, he thought “What if we made everything about the X-Men bigger?” More mutants, bigger campus, higher stakes. And thus, all the X-men writers and artists followed him as he helped the X-Men involve into the 21st century.  Xorn meditates on how to eat a cheeseburger while wearing a metal mask art by Frank Quitely Season Five: Planet X (showrunner: Grant Morrison) Serial 1: New X-Men Ultimate Collection Volume 1
(written by Grant Morrison, art by Frank Quitely, Ethan Van Sciver, Leinil Francis Yu, Igor Kordey, and Tom Derenick) Grant Morrison fucks shit up. Secondary mutations, how mutants fit into the evolutionary timeline, Professor X takes his school global, the X-Men give up their random uniforms for leather jackets with yellow Xes, Professor X has a twin sister, Emma Frost has a British accent and a heroic streak, a whole mess of new characters. So much goodness in one giant book. E Is For Extinction. 4 episodes Serial 2: X-Treme X-Men Volumes 1-3 (written by Chris Claremont, art by Salvador Larroca) Meanwhile, Chris Claremont is back for a weird little run of his own. Rogue is trying to figure out Destiny’s book of predictions for the X-Men and how to stop world ending events. There are a lot of Claremont tropes of losing powers and team dynamics that are a fun respite from the Morrison stuff. Destiny. 2 episodes Serial 3: X-Corps (written by Joe Casey, art by Ian Churchill, Sean Phillips, Ashley Wood, Ron Garney, and Aaron Lopresti) On a more serious note, while Morrison’s book focuses on Xavier’s School, Joe Casey shows us what happens when Angel’s money allows the X-Men to form a corporately funded team to react to world events. Banshee leads a squad in Europe, while back in the US, some of the usual X-Men are joined by Chamber and Stacy X, as Casey explores a lot of religious and sexual themes (but not X rated sexual themes). X-Corps. 3 episodes Serial 4: New X-Men Ultimate Collection Volume 2 (written by Grant Morrison, art by John Paul Leon, Igor Kordey, Phil Jimenez, Ethan Van Sciver, Keron Grant, and Frank Quitely) Our leather clad school teachers try to deal with the aftermath of an extinction level event and the outing of Professor X (as a mutant), a drug epidemic, a school based riot by a naughty psychic student, and then Bishop returns from The X-Treme X-Men to solve a murder of someone who is totally and completely dead forever. Riot At Xavier’s. 4 episodes Background story: Mystique: The Brian K Vaughan Ultimate Collection (written by Brian K Vaughan, art by Jorge Lucas, Michael Ryan, and Manuel Garcia) Throughout the third and fourth serials, we witness Professor X sending long-time X-foe, Mystique, out as a mercenary to do the jobs that Professor X can’t have traced back to him. What could possibly go wrong? Episode 15: X-23 Innocence Lost (written by Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost, art by Billy Tan) We spend an “episode” away form the main teams as we meet yet another stabby member of the Wolverine “family”, as a young clone fights her Weapon # training to try and be a good uhhhh person. X-23. 1 episode Serial 5: Assault On Weapon Plus (written by Grant Morrison, art by Phil Jiminez and Chris Bachalo) I’m sure you imagine this season will end with New X-Men Ultimate Collection 3, the denouement of Morrison’s run. Ehhhh. Look, you can buy it if you want, but the last few issues of his run is a giant middle finger to Marvel’s Editorial, and while that’s conceptually interesting, it’s kind of annoying to read. I recommend getting the smaller trades. In this serial we meet Fantomex and discover what the “X” in “Weapon X” really stands for. (Spoiler alert: It’s not porn related.) Plus, bonding between Cyclops and Wolverine is always so much fun. Assault On Weapon Plus. 2 episodes Serial 6: Planet X (written by Grant Morrison, art by Phil Jiminez) I’m not really a fan of Planet X but it does wrap up all the plot development that Morrison laid down. We learn more about Xorn than we imagined. The “special class” at Xavier’s school goes rogue. Plus, while I’m usually sarcastic when I mention that a character death is totally permanent and forever, the death in Planet X has lasted fifteen years and that character isn’t back yet. Very much. Planet X. 4 episodes Season 5 is 20 episodes Interseason special: NYX Wannabe. (written by Joe Quesada, art by Joshua Middleton and Robert Teranishi) X-23 and some other young mutants live in New York. They’re not on the X-Men’s radar, so they live their lives on the streets making dubious choice after dubious choice. The X-Men franchise has had a few animated series, and is on their way to a sixth live action movie. But how would you put together a ten season live action show with continuity and including the best stories from the various X-books over the years? Season three absolutely destroyed The Marvel Universe (don’t worry Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee came back to put it back together between seasons). Now we step away from Mr. Sinister (about time!) and the consequences of Professor X vs. Magneto, and deal with Apocalypse, who was pretty annoyed that I didn’t include the serial where they renamed the entire X-Men universe after him. Suck it up, Blue Boy, here’s your season. You have to share it with Magneto. Deal with it.  Colossus & Cecelia Reyes art by Salvador Larocca Season Four: Legacy (Showrunner: Alan Davis) Serial 1: Magneto: Rogue Nation
(written by Alan Davis and Fabian Nicieza, art by Lee Weeks and Brandon Peterson) Since Professor X was wheeled out at the end of Onslaught, why not start this season with Magneto.. Look, everyone, especially the government has reasons to be afraid that Magneto is back, so….they give him Genosha.. But if this is Magneto, who’s that guy that looks like young Magneto and has all his powers? Also, it’s called Rogue Nation partly because everyone’s favorite sugah gets all cuddly with Mr. Purple Helmet (that’s not a good nickname). Rogue Nation. 3 episodes Serial 2: The Shattering, The Twelve, Ages Of Apocalypse (written by Alan Davis, Jay Faerber, Rob Jensen, Terry Kavanagh, Howard Mackie, Chris Claremont, Joe Pruett, Fabian Nicieza, Mike Raicht , and Karl Bollers, art by Adam Kubert, Brandon Peterson, Tom Raney, Erik Larsen, Rob Liefeld, Roger Cruz, and Bernard Chang) Since we missed out on The Age Of Apocalypse last season, let’s get to know Apocalypse through some good old fashioned team destroying as Death comes to the X-Men. In The Shattering we learn a lot of horrible things about every member of the team but only one of them is real. Only one of them IS DEATH (dun dun dunnnnnnn). Then Apocalypse sets out to kidnap a dozen X-Men for his evil scheme in X-Men Vs. Apocalypse: The Twelve. And the X-Men fight back in X-Men Vs. Apocalypse: Ages Of Apocalypse. The Twelve. 6 episodes Serial 3: Powerless (written by Alan Davis, Terry Kavanagh, Joseph Harris, Erik Larsen, and Joe Pruett, art by Tom Raney, Brett Booth, Steven Harris, Graham Nolan, and Juan Santacruz) The team has virtually no time to recuperate from their Apocalypse problems when they all find themselves Powerless. How will the mutants survive without any of their powers? Powerless. 2 episodes Serial 4: Counter X Volume 1, Volume 2 (written by Warren Ellis, art by Ian Edgington, Whilce Portacio, Ian Medina, Ariel Olivetti , and Enrique Breccia) Annnnnnnnnnnd then a not so brief detour into the X teams as written by Warren Ellis. In Counter X Volume 1, Ellis takes X-Force’s mercenary ways to the 2000 era limit as Pete Wisdom leads the team into battle in a much darker color palette than the 90s ever had. In Counter X Volume 2 he takes Generation X from school kids to teenagers rescuing mutants in serious danger. And he kills one of them. You know, for reals. Extreme X-Men. 3 episodes Serial 5: Dream’s End (written by Scott Lobdell, Joe Pruett, and Robert Weinberg , art by Salvador Larroca, Leinil Francis Yu, Tom Derenick, and Michael Ryan) Finally, the end to The Legacy Virus problem that’s been going on since season three. Spoiler alert: Someone dies. Totally permanently forever, I’m sure. Dream’s End. 3 episodes Serial 6: Eve Of Destruction (written by Scott Lobdell, with art by Salvador Larroca, Tom Raney, and Leinil Francis Yu) Then we cap off the season as some old faces return in the form of a new X-Men team that must rescue Professor X from Genosha (you know, the place that Magneto rules). Also, old X-Men faces return to rescue Professor X who aren’t currently official X-Men because that’s the kind of loyalty old Chuck inspires. Eve Of Destruction. 3 episodes Season 4 is 20 episodes. Interseason Special: X-Force Famous, Mutant & Mortal (written by Peter Milligan, art by Mike Allred and Darwyn Cooke) One of the great cliches of comics, and especially the X-Men, is when a team is touted as “all new” or “all different”. Apart from the Uncanny team being debuted in the 70s, the X-Men team may change rosters and add one or two new characters but, for the most part, they’re same old same old. This is not true for X-Force: Famous, Mutant & Mortal as Peter Milligan introduces all new characters and kills them seemingly indiscriminantly. It’s a really cool commentary on the reality television spectacle at the turn of the millennium starring a bunch of mutants who gain instant fame because they’re on TV. The art by Mike Allred and Darwyn Cooke was unlike any previous art on X-books. For about a decade, it was questionable whether this was even considered part of continuity but some of the survivors have popped back up in recent years. If you really like it, you can follow it up with X-Statix but it’s not quite as fun as this first run. The X-Men franchise has had a few animated series, and is on their way to a sixth live action movie. But how would you put together a ten season live action show with continuity and including the best stories from the various X-books over the years? Season one introduced us to Claremont’s X-Men, a couple of whom were killed off, and introduced us to a slew of villains, but there wasn’t a Buffy The Vampire Slayer “Big Bad”. Well, welcome to season two, you’re about to get to know Mr. Sinister and The Marauders.  Season Two: Fall Of The Mutants (showrunners: Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson) Serial 1: X-Men Mutant Massacre
(written by Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson, art by John Romita Jr, Rick Leonardi, Alan Davis, and Barry Windsor-Smith) Because Claremont’s writing is so dense, and he was on the Uncanny X-Men book for so long, it’s tough to skip a chunk of continuity, but that’s what I’m doing. Luckily, Claremont waxes backstory that you’ll hardly notice the forty missing issues. Cough. So we start Season Two with Magneto as the headmaster at Xavier’s school. Storm has been depowered, there’s a new generation of X-Men called The New Mutants, and, as we learned in the interseason special, the original X-Men have started their own team called X-Factor which claims to be out hunting mutants, when, actually, they’re rescuing them. Well, all those teams, plus Thor and a group of kids called The Power Pack have to deal with The Marauders, a group of villains who have invaded The Morlock Tunnels and are killing mutants. All the heroes work (not necessarily together) to stop the threat, but there’s great costs (of course), and new X-Men join the team. Morlock Massacre. 4 episodes Episode 5: Fantastic Four Versus The X-Men (written by Chris Claremont, art by John Bogdanove) It really only takes one episode to tackle this mini-crossover where The FF and She-Hulk fly off to Muir Island to try and help The X-Men recover from Mutant Massacre, which has put four long time team members out of commission. The current lineup is initially excited that Reed Richards has come to help but when he experiences moment of self-doubt, Dr. Doom steps in to offer his assistance. This was the series that got me into X-Men comics, and I think it still very much holds up as one of their best stories. Out Of Phase. 1 episode Serial 2: Fall Of The Mutants Volume 1 & Fall Of The Mutants Volume 2 (written by Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson, art by Marc Silvestri, Walt Simonson, and Bret Blevins) This is a giant, non-intersecting, crossover where full-on madness takes place. Forge and Storm enter a realm of magic, X-Factor battles old friends and Apocalypse, the X-Men just might die, The New Mutants lose a team member on the island of…Bird Brain? Even The Hulk, Captain America, Daredevil, and The Power Pack are involved in yet another Everything Will Change storyline. Fall Of The Mutants. 6 episodes Serial 3: Excalibur Classic Volume 1 (written by Chris Claremont, art by Alan Davis) We’re not going to get invested in Excalibur continuity because it was a beautifully weird book that is a fun read but isn’t essential to X-Men continuity. But the first book shows what happens when the X-Men who weren’t involved in Fall Of The Mutants (most of them were put out of commission during Mutant Massacre) . Excalibur. 2 episodes Serial 4: Inferno (written by Chris Claremont, Louise Simonson, and many more, art by many) Another storyline that pulls in Daredevil, The New Mutants, X-Factor, Excalibur, The Fantastic Four, and more. Madelyne Pryor is a teensy bit upset that her husband abandoned her, and, oh yea, sent their child into the future to save him from a virus that he probably got because his dad is a superputz. So she accepts demon powers and transforms New York into a Hell On Earth, even more so that it usually is. In the end, we learn Madelyne’s relation to Jean, and yadda yadda, not so happily ever after. Plus more Sinister & Marauders. Inferno. 4 episodes Serial 5: The X-Tinction Agenda (written by Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson, art by Jim Lee, Rob Liefeld, John Bogdanove, and Guang Yap) Eventually, we’ll pare down the amount of teams in a book, but here’s another All Mutant crossover. It turns out that X-Factor has been working for an evil dude this whole time. There’s an island where mutants are slaves and they’re hella mad at the X teams because of the events of a super complex (don’t read it if you don’t have to) storyline called Days Of Future Present. So the leader of Genosha kidnaps The New Mutants and Storm (who was de-aged….don’t worry about it) and all the X teams go to rescue them. This is the Jim Lee, Rob Liefeld era of X-Men so expect big guns and big muscles. X-Tinction Agenda. 3 episodes This puts season two at 20 episodes. Interseason Special: The Muir Island Saga (written by Chris Claremont, Fabien Nicenza, and Peter David, art by Paul Smith, Andy Kubert, Whilce Portacio, Kirk Jarvinen, and Steven Butler) I’m going to stray from my Collections-Only policy, and tell you to track down five issues. They’ll be cheap, probably cheaper than new comic issues. Uncanny X-Men #278 & #279, X-Factor #69, Uncanny X-Men #280, and then X-Factor #70 make up The Muir Island Saga. Since the end of Fall of The Mutants, the X-Men have been less a team and more a series of former teammates on their own adventures. In these books, all the mutants are put back on the board and arranged into new teams. Professor X battling The Shadow King is the focus of this story but the purpose was to set up X-Men #1. the biggest selling comic of all-time. The X-Men franchise has had a few animated series, and is on their way to a sixth live action movie. But how would you put together a ten season live action show with continuity and including the best stories from the various X-books over the years? Personally, I’m skipping all the silver age comics. No offense to silver age fans. The silver age X-Men books are fun but the book didn’t really hit its stride until the 70s, where we’ll start off Season 1. In place of episodes, I’m calling each book a serial, like old school Doctor Who storylines because you shouldn’t try and cram a Chris Claremont story into forty-five minutes.  The Uncanny X-Men art by Dave Cockrum Season 1: Uncanny (showrunner: Chris Claremont) Serial 1: X-Men Epic Collection: Second Genesis
(written by Chris Claremont, art by Dave Cockrum, Bob Brown, Tony Dezuniga, and John Byrne) Chris Claremont isn’t The Father of The X-Men (Stan Lee and John Byrne are the My Two Dads for our mutant heroes) but he’s the mentor who raised them into what they’ve become. We start off with Professor X recruiting a team of mutants to rescue his previous team of mutants (the original X-Men) who went on a mission to Krakoa and, apart from team leader, Cyclops, did not return. This is a very 1970s shot at diversity. There’s an eastern European demon-looking guy, a Russian who seems to be made of metal, an African storm goddess, a Japanese flamethrower, a Canadian with adamantium claws, a Scottish guy with a debilitating scream, and a super strong Apache. By 2015 standards, their characters and origins are hugely problematic, but this team was incredibly progressive for 1975. In this volume, the team comes together, suffers a tragedy, integrates with the original X-Men and hits all the tropes from the original run of X-Men in a slightly more modern manner. We’re then introduced to The Phoenix, the Sh’iar, we spend some time learning about Professor X’s backstory via Juggernaut and Black Tom and some other crucial X-Men villains make appearances. A lot of what will become important X-history is laid down here by Claremont, Cockrum, and Byrne, and though its over-exposition is dated, the actual story is worth the read. This serial is called Hope You Survive The Experience. 4 episodes Serial 2: X-Men Proteus (written by Chris Claremont, art by John Byrne) This serial presents us with the first Claremont-conceived villain. Moira Mactaggert discovers something bad is going down on Muir Island, and it isn’t long before the X-Men show up to help some of their beleaguered comrades. The hardcover collection also contains some issues of Classic X-Men that delve deeper into the Proteus story, and have some fun artistic takes on what happens to mutants when you bend reality. Polaris and Havoc show up in this volume, and we also get to meet Madrox. Proteus. 2 episodes. Serial 3: X-Men The Dark Phoenix Saga (written by Chris Claremont, art by John Byrne) This is pretty much the ultimate X-story. Every time the X-Men have crossed into another media, the writers tell some version of this space saga. Phoenix (formerly Marvel Girl/Jean Grey) is manipulated by members of The Hellfire Club. In this volume you meet Kitty Pride, Emma Frost, Dazzler, and more (but who needs more than them?), you get to see Wolverine be all Wolveriney for the first time, and the Sh’iar show up to put a stop to a villain who threatens their very existence. There are also some cameos by Oatu The Watcher and Dr. Strange. The Dark Phoenix Saga can not be containted. 4 episodes Serial 4: X-Men Days Of Future Past (written by Chris Claremont, art by John Byrne) This is not quite like the movie of the same name. We start at a funeral (omg, did someone die in the last storyline? I wonder if it’s forever), then we spend some time with Alpha Flight, and then we get into the storyline that the movie is based on. Sentinels. Mystique. Destiny. The future. And how to keep all the X-Men from being massacred by a corrupt government. The series closes off with a Christmas story where Kitty Pride battles an alien that is in no way at all inspired by the xenomorphs in Alien. Days Of Future Past. 4 episodes. Serial 5: God Loves, Man Kills (written by Chris Claremont, art by Brent Anderson) We take a break from Byrne (but not Claremont) for what was originally a graphic novel with art by Brent Anderson. We see how religion and politics are at odds with the science based mutant X-Men. This graphic novel was the basis for the second X-Men movie, with the main difference being that the villain (Stryker) is a minister, not a military guy. Also we get to see Magneto be more of a good guy, as his aim doesn’t seem to be “kill all non-mutants”. God Loves Man Kills. 2 episodes Serial 6: From The Ashes (written by Chris Claremont, art by Paul Smith, Walter Simonson, and John Romita Jr) “Professor X is a jerk!” is one of the most iconic Kitty Pride moments. In this serial, we spend more time with The Hellfire Club, Mystique and Destiny. Rogue joins the X-Men, Wolverine goes to Japan, the X-Men meet The Morlocks, Storm gets a mohawk, and Cyclops meets Madeline Pryor who looks just a teensy bit like his ex. There is a metric ton of story packed into this volume, and not just because of Claremont’s exposition. This is a good closing spot for season one, not just because many of the characters are at rest points in their stories, but because there is a vast amount of X-Men books after this that haven’t been collected anywhere. From The Ashes. 4 episodes This puts Season 1 at 20 episodes. BUT WAIT. One of the recent traditions in Doctor Who is to have an Interseason (usually Christmas) special. I’ll be using this device as a setup for a coming season. Interseason Special: Fantastic Four By John Byrne Vol 07. (written by John Byrne, Roger Stern, and Bob Layton, art by John Byrne, John Buscema, and Jackson Guice) It’s possible that I’ll do an FF chronology someday, but for now, you don’t need to know anything to pick up this book. It opens with the Fantastic Four (Reed Richards, The Invisible Woman, The Human Torch, and She-Hulk) calling in The Avengers to fight a bunch of Skrulls. Once that crossover is finished, The Beyonder shows up and then the FF and The Avengers find a cocoon in the ocean. Inside the cocoon? An X-Men believed to be dead. Yeup, Phoenix is back and she joins up with the original X-Men team (Cyclops, Beast, Iceman, and Angel) to form a new superhero group: X-Factor. Yeup, Cyclops leaves his wife and baby boy (born between seasons) behind to bro out with his high school friends and his ex-girlfriend. Scott Summers has always been an egocentric piece of shit. In 2009, Chris Claremont began the odd alternate timeline series in the Marvel Universe called X-Men Forever. The series picks up from Claremont's 1991 X-Men run, and presents the timeline as he would have written it, had he not jumped ship to Image comics. While it's completely ridiculous, it's a focused examination of the X-Men by one of the series's premiere writers. Batman Confidential is a DC series that focuses on stories from early on in Batman's career. It's written by several long-time DC writers like Peter Milligan, Sam Kieth, and Royal McGraw. I included one of the story arcs, Lovers and Madmen in a previous entry, but Rules Of Engagement helped clinch my decision to not include any more of the Batman Confidential series as part of this project. If something contradicts the chronology it needs to be at least fun, and this series seems more an exercise in frustration.
Rules Of Engagement is about Bruce Wayne/Batman's first encounter with Superman's nemesis, Lex Luthor. The plot outline: Lex Luthor sets up WayneTech to look dangerously inept in front of a group of defense contractors, all in the name of world domination! The evil, hand rubbing, mwa-ha-ha-ing bald guy attempts to take over the world because he doesn't like superheroes. Batman, of course, takes him down in the end. While the story is fun, the dialog is...questionable, and Whilce Portacio 's art is trapped forever in 1991. This was the first book that I had to struggle to finish. Story: 2/5, Art: 2/5 If Nancy Reagan was as devout a Batman reader as Barack Obama is a Spider-Man fan, her favorite collection would probably be Venom. It's the first time in continuity that we encounter the designer drug, Venom, a pill (and later inoculant) that shows up repeatedly in Gotham. After failing to save a little girl from drowning in the sewer (a girl who's father happens to be the creator of Venom), and then tearing a deltoid muscle during a workout, Batman gives into temptation and begins taking Venom to bulk himself. It's not long before the now super-strong Batman has his senses dulled and starts making dubious decisions. He goes so far as to drive Alfred away, and is then asked to kill Jim Gordon. The conversation around taking Gordon down has one of my favorite continuity nerd jokes when Batman refers to Gordon as "Lieutenant or Captain or whatever he is". Spoiler alert : Batman doesn't kill Gordon. But every character introduced in this story dies by the end. The curious omission in this story is that it feels like it should be the origin of Bane. Venom is the drug that enables this future villain to bulk up and battle Batman. And the island that the villains retreat to is Santa Priscia, which is where Bane grows up. This is a well-told introduction to Batman's relationship with drugs. Story: 4/5, Art 4/5 J H Williams III is one of my favorite Batman Universe artists of all time. His work on Detective Comics is one of the most beautifully rendered pieces of art I've seen in comics. But before he ever laid a pencil to page in Detective, he wrote a story arc for Legends Of The Dark Knight along with Dan Curtis Johnson that's collected as Batman: Snow. The story focuses on two important events: Batman's first foray into working with sidekicks, and the origin of Mr. Freeze. Much like the much maligned movie, Batman and Robin, the author chooses to borrow Freeze's origin from The Animated Series (the episode, Heart Of Ice, won one of the series's two Emmys). The Freeze origin is the most tragic of the villain origins in Batman's rogues gallery. But this story intersects with the fascinating story of Batman assembling a team of experts to help him fight crime. After Jim Gordon declines to assist Batman on an investigation, he recruits an awkward technology expert, an unsatisfied FBI investigator, a journalist famous for profiling criminals, and two rehabilitated criminals to serve as the brawn. His strategy to get the team to bond is to turn them against him, which is a terrible strategy utilized by angry middled aged losers guilted into coaching Little League Teams, and antagonistic old men. It is sort of working when Mr. Freeze (sans terrible puns about the cold) gets involved. By the end of the issue the team has decided to disassociate with Batman (but hint that they may continue on their own), and Batman tells Alfred he is thinking of trying another strategy. On his kitchen table is a newspaper mentioning a circus featuring The Flying Graysons. The Robin is coming soon teaser is used in several different books, including Year One, and The Long Halloween. The way I choose to fit it into chronology is that he misses the circus when it comes to town during Year One, but that this story, as well as Rules Of Engagement and Venom, coincides with The Long Halloween. There are several references in each of the stories about working with Harvey Dent (who doesn't actually get any face time, just gets his name dropped), who is a major player in The Long Halloween, after which, well, he doesn't work with Batman anymore. Story: 4/5, Art 5/5 |
September 2023
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