Wednes Dias

This morning, as I got off the train, Wednesday Regular I Haven't Seen In So Long I've Forgotten Why I Don't Like Him, walked up to me and joined me on my short trek to the store.

After a brief update on his life that I neither asked for, nor care about, we arrived at the door to the store.

WRIHSISLIFWIDLH: Have you seen the new Deadpool movie?

Me: Not yet. I haven't had any time off. I'm hoping to see it Thursday or Friday.

WRIHSISLIFWIDLH: Don't bother.

Me: What's wrong with it?

I mistakenly believe I'm about to be told about some continuity error, something out of character, something a hardcore fan (which this guy is) would nitpick to dislike a movie I have thusfar, only heard good things about from other comic book fans (and quite a few non comic book fans).

WRIHSISLIFWIDLH: Oh, I haven't seen it. I don't have to. Have you seen the commercials?

Me: Yea. I thought they looked great.

WRIHSISLIFWIDLH: What are you talking about? They had rap music. Deadpool doesn't listen to that--

I close the door between us, which, based on our previous interactions, he finds funny.

On my way out to the bank, The Guy Who Several Years Ago Gave Me A Concussion And Never Acknowledged Or Apologized For Dropping A Sandman Omnibus Directly On To My Head As I Rearranged Books is loitering by the door. We're not scheduled to open for a half hour.

GWGMAC...: Are you coming right back?

Me: Eventually. I'm going to the bank.

GWGMAC...: I'll wait here.

Of course he will.

At the bank where I've been getting change since it opened a couple of years ago, the teller asks where I work. He asks this every time I go into the bank. And every time I lie, naming a previous employer who still has an account with them. Because fuck banks and their policy of not making change for businesses they aren't currently grifting until the next bailout.

When I get back, I hand GWGMAC... the bag of comics I know he is looking for.

GWGMAC...: Oh, you know what I'm looking for!

Me: I've known you for about twenty years.

GWCMAC...: Oh.

I have two positive interactions, before Guy Who Usually Wears Rush Limbaugh T-Shirts But Today Is Wearing An XFinity Jacket Which Is A Sure Sign You're A Glitch In The Fucken Matrix comes in to pick up his comics and to return a book that just came out in comic book stores last week.

Limbaugh Xfinity: This was in my folder last week. I subscribe to it, but I already have it.

Me: That's odd. It just came out to comic book stores last week. Did you pick it up somewhere else?

LX: No. I got it here.

Me: Nope. I added it to the computer last week. We'd never had it.

LX stares.

Me: I'll take it as a return today but you've told me that sometimes you just can't wait until Wednesday and buy books at regular bookstores which have Tuesday release dates instead of Wednesday.

This only really effects manga, which is most of what LX reads.

LX: Ok.

Me: Paper or plastic bag?

LX: I brought my own bag in preparation for that stupid law.

Starting next month, the city I work in requires you to bring your own bag or else pay ten cents for plastic bags over a certain weight (so no grocery store thickness bags or the free bags retail outlets like ours get for promotional means).

Me: Ah.

LX: This is going to have the same effect as The Bottle Law.

He means, the redemption value that bottles and cans of certain beverages have had for my entire life.
LX: People will be picking through your trash to steal your plastic bags and they'll Learn Things About You.

Me: Uh-huh.

LX: And then all the retailers will end up with stinky bags, driving customers away, and local businesses will go bankrupt.

Me: I see.

LX: The future is bleak, my friend.

​Me: The present is not so great, either. Buddy.