A fairly entitled sounding lady walks into the store. “I’m here to pick up comics for my son. He has a subscription.”
"Sure thing, what’s his name?"
She gives me an unfamiliar name. I have her spell it, and try to look it up in the computer. Nothing. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a record of that name. Would he be under something else?”
"No, definitely" name. "There should be hundreds of comics for him. He hasn’t been in for about five years.”
"Oh. I’m sorry." I say. "We ask customers to come in once a month to pick up their books. We’re pretty lenient, but five years is a very long time."
"So where are his comics?"
"I have no idea. If you can find out what comics he reads, and which he’s missing, I would be happy to do my best to track them down." you idiot.
She makes a huffy noise (and I don’t mean the bicycle company). “He probably won’t want them, then. Will you buy them back?”
"You want to know if I’ll hunt down a bunch of books that he doesn’t want, in order to sell them back to me?" I ask.
"Well, if he already has them. Or doesn’t want them."
"Why don’t you have him e-mail us a list of what he’s looking for," I giver her a card, "and I"ll see if we can get them. That way we don’t have to track down something he doesn’t want,"
"But he should be able to buy them from you for cover price, and sell the valuable issues back for more money, right?"
Really? “No. If we are able to find or reorder the books, they probably are only worth cover price. If they’re worth much more than that, we’d have to charge you that amount.”
"But you should have been holding them for him."She says.
"I’m sorry," I say, "but it says right on the subscription forms that you’re supposed to come in once a month. And if you go much longer than that, we call you and/or e-mail a reminder to pick things up. If we don’t hear from you, we cancel your subscription. Often, it takes about a year before we cancel someone."
"You’ll buy his Magic Cards?"
"Nope. We don’t deal in Magic Cards. You should try Pandemonium in Central Square."
She frog-eyes me: “They’re worth QUITE A LOT OF MONEY.”
"Excellent. I hope you make a mint. Unfortunately, we don’t buy or sell Magic Cards."
"Even if they’re worth A LOT OF MONEY."