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Honest Conversation Is Overrated

Actual Human Interactions Witnessed Or Overheard
In  Twentieth  And  Twenty-First  Century  America

9:58 Eternal

12/13/2015

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I had Tuesday through Saturday mostly off this week, thanks to an unfortunate subway shutdown on Wednesday. Apart from running errands, I have mostly stayed at the house working on comic related things.

Today, I went back to work where most of the customers were awesome, and the loiterers were few. I did make the mistake of allowing a couple to come in at 9:58 (we close at ten) because they seemed desperate for gift ideas, and I was happy to help them. However, they left at 10:40 without spending a penny.

If they buy any of the books I suggested online, I hope the delivery is delayed, and shows up ripped to shreds and covered in parakeet shit. And I hope the "favorite niece and nephew" are so disappointed that they ask their parents not to let Aunty and Uncle Timewaster show up for their birthday parties.
It was 11:30 before I finished enough work to leave the store, and the travel app said it was twenty minutes before the next bus. But, you know, sometimes, late at night especially, it lies.

I decided to walk down to the spot between the train and the bus platforms and wait. If I heard a "The Alewife train arrives in FIVE minutes." or "The Alewife train is NOW approaching.", I would go catch the train. Otherwise, I'd wait out the bus.

Well, there were no announcements. The train just sort of showed up and left with no audio announcements or visual announcements. At last they committed to fucking over their visually impaired, hearing impaired, and non-impaired customers equally. Viva the subway's consistency.

So I walked up to the bus platform, which was mostly full. The bus showed up precisely when the app said it would, and I got on.

The woman behind me paid in dimes and was having a frantic conversation with the driver that I couldn't hear, even though I was not wearing headphones. But she appeared to be trying to scam her way in with a Charlie Card that didn't have enough change and wanted the driver to know that she was a bad person for not just letting her on.

Of course she came to sit next to me. Of course. But before she sat down, she took out used paper napkins to put down on the seat.

I understand that some people are germaphobic and need to cover the seats of public transportation, but I assure you: that napkin was far nastier than any of the invisible creatures living on the plastic seat.

I made a face, and then turned to look out the window.

She then tried to make eye contact with me in the window.

I did not engage.

At the second stop a group of non-White people got on the bus. And if you, dear Facebook readers, had been on that bus (and you're so glad you weren't), I would have turned to you and said "Bet you twenty dollars the insane woman sitting on the dirty napkin next to me says something racist."

You, wisely, would not have taken that bet.

She didn't drop the N word. She didn't say anything Absolutely Horrible, she just ranted to herself (again, I was not engaging) about Some People. Making it pretty clear to me that Some People were not mousey white ladies in their fifties voluntarily plopping their butts down on marinara sauce covered napkins.

I didn't turn around and make a face. I didn't make a face into the window. I didn't loudly sigh. I thought about doing ALL Of these things. But I sat quietly, writing this Facebook post in my head. Then she sort of shouldered me, very lightly, and said "Do you believe Those People."

And that's when I was ready. Now was my time to...

"Nah, Ronda Rousey looks like a man, (censored). I mean, I'd stick my dick in it, but then I'd have to go to confession because that's fag right there. Total fag." said one of the people I was about to defend.

I clicked the Let Me Off This Fucken Bus button. I headed to the front of the bus, and I walked the rest of the way home.

I hope they ended up in a screaming match, and all their variously bigoted asses had to walk home to Montana or Saskatchewan. Somewhere far enough away that I never have to see them again.
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