Black Panther In Five Seasons, Season Two: The Worst Season

If Black Panther isn't the Marvel movie you're most amped up to see, you're probably either a bigot or you have terrible taste in movies. The trailers are amazeballs. And, finally, after years of there not being very many Black Panther collections available, now most of his solo adventures are in circulation. So I'm cobbling together a five season Netflixization of a Black Panther chronology.

Season one introduced us to T'Challa through the lens of The Fantastic Four, had us spend some time with him as an Avenger, had him dispensing royal justice in Wakanda, and even had him battle the KKK. I really enjoyed Season One. I can't, in good conscience, condone this Season Two. I recommend you maybe flip through Episode 1 of this season in a store, and see if its humor and narrative devices intrigue you. Personally, I hated it. And it's so tonally different from what precedes it, and what follows it that it feels like an entirely different book. And, uh, The Black Panther isn't actually the main character. So, again, I would skip it. But some of my friends whose opinions I usually agree with really like this run, so you should at least see if it sparks your interest. But if you do skip direct to Season Three, you won't miss any pertinent plot points.

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Season Two:
(showrunner: Christopher Priest)

Episode 1: Advocate For The Devil
(collected in Black Panther The Complete Collection By Christopher Priest Vol 1)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Mark Texeira

Last season we got to meet T'Challa through the eyes of some of Marvel's most famous superheroes. This season, we meet him through the eyes of a wise-cracking, dated pop-culture spewing lawyer. Wooooo. Fun, amirite? Oh, and Mephisto is around, and he helps the protagonist (not T'Challa) procure a pair of pants. That sure does sound like a Black Panther story, right?


Episode 2: The Hunter And The Hunted
(collected in Black Panther Complete Collection By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Joe Jusko

Continuing the story of Annoying Attorney and, oh also The Black Panther, Kraven The Hunter crashes a White House party that Black Panther and Not-Friend are attending and creates such havoc that it catches the attention of The Avengers (of which The Black Panther is a member).


Episode 3: Enemy Of The State
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 1)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Joe Jusko, Mike Manley, Amanda Conner, Mark Bright

The Annoying Attorney, The Avengers, and Black Panther discover that the money behind Kraven The Hunter is Wakandan, so they head to Wakanda to help King T'Challa stop yet another coup (that's three attempts and we're barely into season two). Jokes abound. And abound. And abound.


Episode 4: Turbulence
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 1)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto

I actually don't mind this "episode". Hydro-Man joins in the Wakandan political strife, and we spend some time examining The Black Panther's love life from season one, and some missteps he's made so far this season. 


Episode 5: Back In Brooklyn
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 1)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto

Hulk. Luke Cage. Iron Fist. Falcon. Goliath. They're all...well..they're...they're all IN this comic, and they're fighting...somebody. At a club? Maybe? They're definitely at a club at some point. Ooof, this is painful.


Episode 6: Economic Downturn
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto, Kyle Hotz, Bob Almond, and Tom Coker

It's that story about how The Black Panther's actions affect the economy that you've been waiting for. Also featuring several fights with Killmonger who, at the end of the episode is...the...new...Black...Panther? Maybe?


Serial 1: Home Is Where The Hate Is
(2 episodes, collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest and J Calafiore, art by Sal Velluto, J Calafiore, and Bob Almond

Moon Knight and Brother Voodoo show up to help Black Panther something something astral plane something something spirituality...and then Black Panther and and Annoying Attorney are Batman & Robin, and the villain has a hand puppet, and Deadpool is...OF COURSE FUCKEN DEADPOOL IS IN THIS MADNESS. Plus The Avengers.


Episode 9: Malice
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest and M.D. Bright, art by Sal Velluto, Bob Almond, and Walden Wong

Killmonger is still The Black Panther...sort of...but he and T'Challa go back to New York...together for some reason. And the one of The Black Panther's exes kills Killmonger. Again. Maybe?


Episode 10: Storm Und Klaw
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto and Bob Almond

Yea, sure, let's get Storm in this story. And maybe Magneto. And Doctor Doom. And Namor. More characters means cooler story, right? Draw in a bigger audience. The plot? Oh, who knows? There is some threatening pointing and Storm is definitely in Wakanda, and we haven't seen Klaw since season one, so it's totally cool that he's...ugh, I can't wait to get through this.


Episode 11: Devil's Due
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 2)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto and Bob Almond

This has got to be it, right? Annoying Attorney is giving testimony about all the adventures of the season, and Mephisto is back, and they reference pants for the first time in a while. And Malice is involved. Oh, and a white gorilla. We haven't seen one of those in a while. This is over, right? The big conclusion? Wait, who's The Original Black Panther? God damn it.


Episode 12: The Once & Future Kings
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 3)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto and Bob Almond, and Jon Bogdanove

So we're in the future. And hand puppet guy is back. And the children that you didn't know The Black Panther had, because this is the future, are killed. And Luke Cage is old. And something is wrong with T'Challa besides his dead kids. You should really really care about all of this because dead kids that you never knew about is sad. You can tell because The Black Panther is kneeling with arms outstretched and crying. It's. So. Emotional. Also a Wakandan is in love with The Hulk? Why not?


Episode 13: Return Of The Dragon
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 3)
written by Christopher Priest, art by Sal Velluto and Bob Almond

Girls in skimpy uniforms fight. The Defenders are involved for some reason. It looks like Annoying Attorney is now Mephisto, or at least he looks like Mephisto. There's some sort of body switch and more pop culture references, and a dragon who is maybe Mephisto or Immortal Iron Fist. Who cares? This season can not be stopped. It's like being on a shitty rollercoaster that keeps ramping up, but all the drops are four or five feet, and then it's flat forever. How did this not get canceled?


Episode 14: The Kitchen Fucken Sink
(collected in Black Panther By Christopher Priest Vol 4)
written by Christopher Priest, art by people who deserved a better story

Look, Iron Man shows up. Wolverine, too. Thor. The whole fucken Avengers team. This goes on for about a dozen unreadably convoluted issues. If you keep reading, it will eventually stop, and you can get on with your life, reading Black Panther stories that actually focus on The Black Panther and have plots that make narrative sense. I think I find this so annoying because there are some good beats in this run, and the story wouldn't be awful if it wasn't told in constantly shifting fashion. It's referenced in the very first issue, but it really does seem like Christopher Priest was a middle schooler who saw Pulp Fiction, and thought "I wanna do that with super heroes!" but didn't have any outline or concept of how to make shifting time and points of view a necessary part of the story, instead of a distraction. I hope you either loved this "season" or didn't bother to read Priest's run. I promise, it's going to get better in Season Three.

Season Two is fourteen episodes that feel like fourteen thousand.