Stargate In Significantly Fewer Seasons, Season Five

While I was living in the intolerable flesh oven of Mesa, Arizona, I worked for a family who obsessively watched Stargate. I liked the family, and I liked the episodes, but it was the  fifth or sixth season, and things were constantly being explained to  me. Things I probably didn't need to know.

I'm not sure what possessed me to trackdown the movie, and start to watch the series it inspired, but I've decided to do another condensed series chronology a la my Star Trek and Doctor Who recommendations. I'm aiming for ten seasons of ten episodes each, but there's always some wriggle room.

Stargate is basically Star Trek where Earth is the ship most episodes originate from. There's a ton of classic sci-fi tropes, conspiracy theories, and completely incorrect science. For this chronology, I'm focused on interesting character studies, cool (even if technically incorrect) science, and drama that isn't quite melodrama (despite the swelling Stargate theme). I've left out some major episodes that introduce characters and plots that come up later because I care more about where a story goes than when it  begins. But each of these episodes should be easy to follow, even if you've never seen any previous episode.

With the Goa'uld and Replicators defeated last season, we have some new enemies put on the board. And this season, we see two major warfronts, as both SG1 and Atlantis begin focusing on being more of a miltary drama. Think of the evolution from Star Trek The Next Generation to Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

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Season 5:
The New Class

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Episode 1: Seige (Parts 2 & 3)
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Beckett, Zelenka, Chuck, Caldwell)

The Wraith have discovered the location of Atlantis, and are now searching for Earth, so it's up to the Atlantis crew to either destroy the Wraith, or themselves.

Episode 2: Runner
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Beckett, Dex, Caldwell, Lorne)

You know all those 21st century YA novels and film franchises where there is a corrupt government who hold sporting events where they force children to try and escape death while running away from their deathtraps? Well, it's that story but with The Wraith instead of a corrupt government, and with Khal Drogo/Aquaman as the dude trying not to die.


Episode 3: Lost Boys/The Hive
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Dex, Caldwell, Zelenka, Lorne, Chuck)

During the seige, Ford became addicted to Wraith enzymes, and fled Atlantis. In fact, the whole last episode only happened because they thought Aquadrogoman was Ford. Well, now they have found Ford and his gang of Wraith enzyme-addicted Genni, who are determined to take out a Wraith ship and get in the good graces of Atlantis.  

Episode 4: Avalon
(O'Neill, Jackson, Carter, Teal'c, Mitchell, Vala, Landry, Harriman, Lam, Lee, Merlin)

It's retcon time! Remember last season when all was doom and despair and O'Neill and SG1 saved the universe from the Goa'uld, and there was champagne and fireworks, and probably a baby boom nine months later? Well, one of the major players in that episode was Cameron Mitchell. Don't remember him? Well, that's because he wasn't in the original episodes. But now he's been selected to create a new SG1 team. All he wants is the old SG1 team, but Teal'c is now a politician, O'Neill has been promoted beyond the Stargate program, Carter is working for Area 51 in space, and Jackson still wants to go to Atlantis. Also, Val has come looking for Jackson...and treasure...oh, and there's a whole new race of fake gods trying to dominate the universe.  Can Mitchell get the original SG1 team back together?


Episode 5: Coup d'Etat
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Dex, Beckett, Lorne, Chuck, Cowen, Radim)

You know how there are a billion SG teams that we never get to see on SG1? Well, it's less true on Atlantis, but there are still a bunch of teams. When one of them goes missing, our usual characters go off in search, only to find themselves in the midst of a Genii political upheaval featuring the guy who is always trying to kill them, and one of the crew who laid seige to Atlantis during the hurricanes last season.


Episode 6: Beachhead
( Jackson, Carter, Teal'c, Mitchell, Vala, Landry, Harriman, Gerak)

The war with the Ori has officially begun, as the Ori have sent a Prior to destroy a Jaffa homeland, and even a surviving Goa'uld puts its snakey fingers into the brimming pot of fuckery. Plus, we're not just dealing with Stargates anymore, there are now Supergates!


Episode 7: Michael
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Dex, Beckett, Michael)

Atlantis thinks they've developed a vaccine that can evolve Wraith into humans.


Episode 8: Inferno
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Dex, Beckett, Zelenka, Caldwell, Chuck)

With the Wraith being the only big threat left after the Genii coup, the SGA team has more time to explore other planets, and ohhhh shit, have they found another planet of The Ancients? *Spoiler alert* Not precisely.


Episode 9: Allies/No Man's Land
(Weir, McKay, Sheppard, Teyla, Ford, Dex, Beckett, Zelenka, Caldwell, Chuck, Michael)

Michael's back with a proposed alliance with...the...Wraith? Yea, apparently the Wraith are in a series of civil wars and Michael's faction would like to conquer the other Wraiths.


Episode 10: Fourth Horseman
(Jackson, Carter, Teal'c, Hammond, Bra'tac, Mitchell, Vala, Landry, Harriman, Lam, Lee, Chekov)

The Proctors of the Ori have unleashed a plague intended to wipe out every non-believer. Also, one of Tealc's rivals for control of the Jaffa government has become a prior of the Ori himself.