Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's plummet into right wing celebrity loon was such a disappointment to the fans of her blue collar past.

This season begins over twenty years after the last episode we saw. Ths kids are now all grown up with children of their own. American has become a more divided nation, politically, and I saved all of you from seeing a single episode of one of The Worst Seasons Of Television Ever because it doesn't matter to continuity. You're welcome.

Episode 1: Twenty Years To Life

This is probably my least favorite episode of the continuity. I hate the cartoonishness of politics in this episode, but it's necessary to see where all the characters have landed twenty years later, and it's, honestly, a little easier to watch in 2021 than it was in 2018. Meet Darlene's kids. And DJ's kids. And find out what sad things have happened to this family in the intervening years.


Episode 2: Roseanne Gets The Chair

No, this isn't the final episode before Roseanne gets fired. It's about a chair lift. And Etsy, and other things unlikely to be the focus of a TV episode in the 1990s.


Episode 3: Darlene Vs David

Oh, look, Mr. Big Bang Theory is back, and he's a negligent father! And, My Gods, Bev is still alive? And still keeping the storyline from "Body By Jake" going strong? Bra-vo.


Episode 4: Netflix & Pill

After discovering Roseanne is hoarding medication for her bad knees, Dan urges her to get surgery.


Episode 5: Keep On Truckin'

Holy Shit. Roseanne dies offscreen? Yeup. A drug overdose wipes out the show's matriarch, and Darlene and Dan must do whatever it takes to keep the family together.


Episode 6: Miracles

Death and birth usually go hand in hand, and sure enough, Becky is pregnant. And Darlene gets a new job.


Episode 7: O Sister Where Art Thou?

Darlene and Becky end up having to hash out some old trauma, much in the same way Roseanne and Jackie used to before the time jump.


Episode 8: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

Darlene's child, Mark, gets in trouble for kissing another boy. Meanwhile, Darlene appears to be cheating on her boyfriend with her ex-husband. And Becky fears she's too old to be a good mom.


Episode 9: Lanford, Lanford

A quick kibosh is put on the Love Triangle aspect of the show, Dan has his first post-Roseanne girlfriend, and Becky stays sober.


Episode 10: Slappy Holidays

Ooooh, a Thanksgiving episode! Just like old times. Lots of family melodrama. Someone moves back into the house, and someone else gets slapped!

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's plummet into right wing celebrity loon was such a disappointment to the fans of her blue collar past.

This is the first season where I've had to be very selective about continuity. During this era Roseanne was revealed to be pregnant again, and had a fourth child. And then the show went super zany. Then it went off the air. And when it returned two decades later, the fourth child was nowhere to be found. So, apart from a couple of throwaway lines, which we'll consider Weird Jokes, her pregnancy doesn't appear, and we can just pretend any baby who appears on screen is Jackie's.

Episode 1: Rear Window

It's been a while since we've seen any neighbors in The Conners' neighborhood. Maybe the new ones will spark some new sensations in the family.


Episode 2: Happy Trailers

Becky and Mark move out. Again. This time into a cozy little trailer park.


Episode 3: The Blaming Of The Shrew

DJ's new girlfriend is a total top. And Fred and Jackie go to a marriage counselor.


Episode 4: Sherwood Schwartz, A Loving Tribute

We've skipped most of the Roseanne goes to fantasy land episodes of the show. They're usually tedious. But in this one, the cast of Roseanne ends up living out an episode of Gilligan's Island. And then the tables turn as the cast of Gilligan's Island ends up living out a scene from Roseanne.


Episode 5: December Bride

We've also skipped most of the wedding episodes of the show. But when Leon and Scott decide to tie the knot, Roseanne ruins everything with her, for once, good intentions.


Episode 6: The Thrilla Near The Vanilla Extract

Roseanne and Jackie feud in the supermarket over a job neither really wants while Dan and Mark feud at home over DJ's affection, which neither of them really needs.


Episode 7: Another Mouth To Shut Up

Ok, we're avoiding Roseanne's pregnancy and child, but it's time for her to come to terms with being a grandmother!


Episode 8: The Wedding

Darlene and David decide to get married, and it just about kills someone.


Episode 9: Heart And Soul

The Conners recuperate in the hospital, where Darlene and David have a scaled down reception.


Episode 10: Fights & Stuff

Is this the way it all ends? Dan and Roseanne have their most severe fight ever, and one of them decides to walk out on the family.

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's descent into looney right wing celebrity was so sad for long-time fans.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're a few seasons into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it's on par with peak Roseanne, and certainly worth watching a large swath of its back catalog.

Episode 1: The Mommy's Curse

Change is afoot everywhere. The Lunchbox gets a new owner, and somebody liiiiiiikes Jackie.


Episode 2: A Stash From The Past

It's Blame Game Roulette as Roseanne finds a bag of pot in David's room and is determined to punish someone for possession.


Episode 3: Halloween V

We had no holiday episodes last season! Well, we fix that here when Nancy and Dan end up in a terrifying feud.


Episode 4: Thanksgiving '93

Oh! And a Thanksgiving Episode! Becky's back! She looks ... different. Also, Jackie appears to be Hella Pregnant.


Episode 5: Busted

Everyone's long-term relationships blow up due to a series of secrets and lies coming to the surface.


Episode 6: David Vs Goliath

The few secrets kept in the previous episode come to light to everyone, and soon DJ is the only child left at The Conner household.


Episode 7: Everyone Comes To Jackie's

Everything sucks for everyone.


Episode 8: Lies My Father Told Me

We haven't seen Dan's dad for a while. Last we knew he was a terrible parent who skipped out on his wife and married one of his son's friends. But could everything we know about him actually be wrong? Is Dan, maybe, the bad guy?


Episode 9: Body By Jake

We haven't seen Roseanne's mom for a while. Last we knew she was living in a retirement home being judgmental and awful to her children. But could everything we know about her actually be wrong? Or are stories about Roseanne's mom as funny as stories about Dan's dad are dark?


Episode 10: Skeleton In The Closet
​
It's Halloween again! And this time, the homophobe is Fred!

Episode 1: This Old House

Darlene has a boyfriend! Darlene has a boyfriend! And it's that guy who's going to end up being the least offensive character on Big Bang Theory! Also, Roseanne and Jackie dredge up some trauma when their childhood house is up for sale.


Episode 2: The Commercial Show

The Conner family is chosen to appear as customers in the new Rodbell's commercial. There's even breakups and characters leaving the show with minimal emotional impact!


Episode 3: Lies

Roseanne faces a lie detector at work.


Episode 4: Terms Of Estrangement

The bike shop closes down, and another character moves off the show. This one is a little more impactful.


Episode 5: The Dark Ages

It's all about power when The Conners forget to pay their electricity bill, and Darlene suffers for Becky's transgressions against the family.


Episode 6: Crime And Punishment

Jackie's new boyfriend isn't all he's cracked up to be, and Dan stands up for her. Also, DJ suffers for Darlene's transgressions against artistic decency.


Episode 7: War And Peace

Fallout from the previous episode.


Episode 8: It's A Boy!

The house sure has seemed quieter since Becky left. Looks like it's time to welcome a new family member!


Episode 9: Tooth Or Consequences

Roseanne and Jackie have been running a diner since Rodbell's closed, and its future comes into question when Roseanne's old boss, Leon, shows up as the local health inspector.


Episode 10: Daughters And Other Strangers

The show underwent quite the change when Becky got married and moved out of the house. What will happen when Darlene goes off to college?

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's current pro-Trump racist persona is so sad to people who loved the show.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're only one episode into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it was...fine. But it certainly opened the possibility that the show could be great again, but without any stupid red hats.

​In the first two seasons, all three kids fit almost neatly into a little role. Becky had one moment where it seemed like she might be rebellious, and Darlene started to come out of her shell. In this season, we start to see a seismic shift in the younger generation (except DJ, whose personality so far can only be described as "weird").

Episode 1: Home Ec
It's Career Day! Darlene has always been a daddy's girl, so she's less than thrilled when Roseanne shows up at her school as a guest speaker in her Home Economics class. This is one of the better episodes of the show when it comes to dealing with gender and class., as Roseanne takes the class on a field trip to show them how to cook for a family of five on a tight budget.

Episode 2: Valentine's Day
It's Valentine's Day! Darlene and Becky each have a type when it comes to boys. So when Darlene's love interest turns out to be into Becky, she doesn't take it well. Also, Roseanne gets a job in a mall diner.​ So the kids are going to see her All The Time.

Episode 3: Her Boyfriend's Back
It's James Dean's birthday! What is Becky's type anyway? We haven't seen Chip in a while. Well, it turns out, Becky is into bad boys. This is our first glance at Mark Healey. He ain't Chip.

Episode 4: Trouble With The Rubbles
It's Love Thy Neighbors Day! We haven't seen much of little DJ this season, what is that forgettable scamp up to? Well, there are new neighbors for the Conners, and they have a kid DJ's age. Unfortunately, they're a little uptown Chicago, and not so thrilled with the Conners from Langford.

Episode 5: Scenes From A Barbecue
It's Mother's Day! Usually, we only get to see Nanna Mary on the Thanksgiving episodes. This year, all the generations converge on the Conner household on Mother's Day. Everything goes swimmingly. Except Mark is there. He ain't Chip.

Episode 6: The Pied Piper Of Lanford
It's Labor Day! Roseanne got a new job this season waiting tables, now it's Dan's turn. An old friend comes into town and tries to convince Dan to go for his dream job.

Episode 7: Darlene Fades To Black
It's Columbus Day! Jocky little Darlene goes gothy little Darlene . Or is she just depressed?

Episode 8: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down
It's Halloween again! This year's holiday show has the added bonus of those snooty neighbors AND one of Jackie's exes comes back.

Episode 9: Thanksgiving 1991
It's Thanksgiving Day! Nana Mary is back! And Beverly! But there is someone missing. This continues the lovely theme of the generation of Roseanne and Dan's parents unraveling.

Episode 10: Santa Claus
It's Christmas in the mall! Roseanne plays Santa Claus, and as a Christmas gift, she gets to meet Darlene's new friend. Oh, and Darlene has a friend!

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's current pro-Trump racist persona is so sad to people who loved the show.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're only one episode into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it was...fine. But it certainly opened the possibility that the show could be great again, but without any stupid red hats.

Each season, after the first one, included a Halloween episode because Roseanne loves that particular holiday. While this season slightly predates Darlene's impending "fade to black", it does contain two of the better Halloween episodes, thus making this season, officially, a Horror Season.

Episode 1: Boo!
Recessions are terrifying! And in the heart of the Bush Sr years, the economy was in the tank, and independent contractors like Dan Connor lived week to week, and being unemployed, like Roseanne, means doing truly horrific jobs like magazine subscription telemarketing. To lift their spirits, the Conners stage a Tunnel Of Terror in their house and Roseanne and Dan battle to see who will be crowned the King/Queen of Halloween. See also The Conjuring.

Episode 2: Come Together
Halloween has nothing on Thanksgiving, when it comes to terror. Extended family. Tryptophan. The prospect of Uncle Creepy Touch and Racist Grandma imparting their various shades of incorrect wisdom to the next generation. Count me out. This episode is the first time we meet the previous generation of Harrises and Conners as both sets of grandparents show up to ruin the holiday. See also Addams Family Values.

Episode 3: Braindead Poets
Having spent most of the last twenty years tending bar at a poetry open mic/slam, I feel completely qualified to tell you that there is nothing more frightening than people performing poetry. Frightening? Boring? Annoying? All three? In this episode, jocky daughter Darlene is forced to read a poem she wrote at her school's culture night. See also Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The movie.

Episode 4: An Officer And A Gentleman
Anyone who thinks cops are only scary if you've commited a crime, hasn't watched the news in the last twenty years. Having given up her job in the plastic factory, along with Roseanne and Crystal, Jackie decided to become a cop. That only really factors into the title of this episode, as Roseanne has to deal with a family emergency, leaving Jackie and Dan in charge of the kids. See also The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.

Episode 5: April Fool's Day
Taxes! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! See also Shawshank Redemption.

Episode 6: Like A Virgin
You don't even need to have seen Scream to know that one of the surest ways to die in a slasher movie is to have sex. So Becky seems a prime candidate for a-slashin' in the Conner household. See also Hellraiser.

Episode 7: Like, A New Job
There are four major Nightmares that everyone seems to share: showing up to class naked, being in a play where you don't remember rehearsing, falling from a great height, and waiting tables in a restuarant where everything's gone wrong. Roseanne joins the waiting tables nightmare and adds to it by working at a mall, a job I wouldn't wish on anyone. Luckily, there are only about six malls left in The United States. See also Office Space.

Episode 8: Trick Or Treat
The second Halloween episode of the season focuses on gender in a progressive 90s way that is incredibly dated but inoffensive. See Dan try and figure out why he has a problem with his son dressing up as a witch. More importantly, see Roseanne infiltrate a tribe of toxic masculinity by dressing as a man. See also The Covenant.

Episode 9: Bird Is The Word
High School is an absolute nightmare all the time. Roseanne ends up getting called into the Principal's office (surprise, it's the guy from Law & Order) when one of her rebellious daughters is caught flipping the bird in the class photo. See also The Birds.

10: The Wedding
What would happen if one of your parents knocked up and married one of your childhood friends. Pretty Grimm way to end the season, huh? See also Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's current pro-Trump racist persona is so sad to people who loved the show.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're only one episode into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it was...fine. But it certainly opened the possibility that the show could be great again, but without any stupid red hats.

I don't know how many seasons this imagining will be. I'm going to keep it to ten episodes a season, like a Netflix or BBC show. The first season throws us right in the middle of Lanford, Michigan, as we open with an episode where The Conners get a Huge Windfall, which will be a recurring theme in the show.

Episode 1: We're In The Money
Meet The Conners, a nice midwestern family with three kids and a live studio audience. All the positive elements of the show premiere here, as Roseanne and Dan work, argue about money, deal with work issues, try to raise their kids well despite being very flawed people, and spend their time in the outside world dealing with classism.

Episode 2: Lover's Lane
It's bowling time! The ladies of Lanford go bowling with their loved ones, including Jackie's love interest, George Clooney. Yes, that George Clooney. Meanwhile, Becky is in looooooooove with Chip, who is a 1980s feather-haired teenage dream. If you're into yuppie kids...named Chip.

Episode 3: Dan's Birthday Bash
Langford's local libations locale, The Lobo Lounge, serves as Dan's birthday palace, where everything goes completely smoothly and according to plan. Plus, Becky meets Chip's yuppie parents.

Episode 4: Becky's Choice
Chip's parents come to The Conner house for dinner.

Episode 5: Workin' Overtime
The American Dream is being a working class set of parents who have to work overtime so they can afford to pay the babysitters to watch their kids while they work overtime, right?  Featuring the first service industry employee in the show to not be an upper middle class snob.

Episode 6: We're Not In Kansas Anymore
Weather related tragedies were big business in 1980s/early 1990s television. Earthquakes, hurricanes, Poochinski. Lanford gets hit by a tornado and gives us our first look at a glorious Jackie meltdown.

​Episode 7: Death And Stuff
The age of the traveling salesman has long since given way to the age of popup ads, and this is the television episode that killed it!

Episode 8: Let's Call It Quits
The new boss at the plastic factory is no George Clooney. He inspires the cast to rethink their employment opportunities. It's misogymy and classism at its finest. Oh, and George Clooney is in the episode, he's just not the bad guy.

Episode 9: Inherit The Wind
The Conners parents come to the realization that, sometimes, raising your kids is a gas.

Episode 10: House Of Grown Ups
After a season of familial turmoil, it's time for sisterly bonding, as written by Joss "Buffy The Firefly Slayer" Whedon.