Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's plummet into right wing celebrity loon was such a disappointment to the fans of her blue collar past.

This season begins over twenty years after the last episode we saw. Ths kids are now all grown up with children of their own. American has become a more divided nation, politically, and I saved all of you from seeing a single episode of one of The Worst Seasons Of Television Ever because it doesn't matter to continuity. You're welcome.

Episode 1: Twenty Years To Life

This is probably my least favorite episode of the continuity. I hate the cartoonishness of politics in this episode, but it's necessary to see where all the characters have landed twenty years later, and it's, honestly, a little easier to watch in 2021 than it was in 2018. Meet Darlene's kids. And DJ's kids. And find out what sad things have happened to this family in the intervening years.


Episode 2: Roseanne Gets The Chair

No, this isn't the final episode before Roseanne gets fired. It's about a chair lift. And Etsy, and other things unlikely to be the focus of a TV episode in the 1990s.


Episode 3: Darlene Vs David

Oh, look, Mr. Big Bang Theory is back, and he's a negligent father! And, My Gods, Bev is still alive? And still keeping the storyline from "Body By Jake" going strong? Bra-vo.


Episode 4: Netflix & Pill

After discovering Roseanne is hoarding medication for her bad knees, Dan urges her to get surgery.


Episode 5: Keep On Truckin'

Holy Shit. Roseanne dies offscreen? Yeup. A drug overdose wipes out the show's matriarch, and Darlene and Dan must do whatever it takes to keep the family together.


Episode 6: Miracles

Death and birth usually go hand in hand, and sure enough, Becky is pregnant. And Darlene gets a new job.


Episode 7: O Sister Where Art Thou?

Darlene and Becky end up having to hash out some old trauma, much in the same way Roseanne and Jackie used to before the time jump.


Episode 8: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

Darlene's child, Mark, gets in trouble for kissing another boy. Meanwhile, Darlene appears to be cheating on her boyfriend with her ex-husband. And Becky fears she's too old to be a good mom.


Episode 9: Lanford, Lanford

A quick kibosh is put on the Love Triangle aspect of the show, Dan has his first post-Roseanne girlfriend, and Becky stays sober.


Episode 10: Slappy Holidays

Ooooh, a Thanksgiving episode! Just like old times. Lots of family melodrama. Someone moves back into the house, and someone else gets slapped!

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's plummet into right wing celebrity loon was such a disappointment to the fans of her blue collar past.

This is the first season where I've had to be very selective about continuity. During this era Roseanne was revealed to be pregnant again, and had a fourth child. And then the show went super zany. Then it went off the air. And when it returned two decades later, the fourth child was nowhere to be found. So, apart from a couple of throwaway lines, which we'll consider Weird Jokes, her pregnancy doesn't appear, and we can just pretend any baby who appears on screen is Jackie's.

Episode 1: Rear Window

It's been a while since we've seen any neighbors in The Conners' neighborhood. Maybe the new ones will spark some new sensations in the family.


Episode 2: Happy Trailers

Becky and Mark move out. Again. This time into a cozy little trailer park.


Episode 3: The Blaming Of The Shrew

DJ's new girlfriend is a total top. And Fred and Jackie go to a marriage counselor.


Episode 4: Sherwood Schwartz, A Loving Tribute

We've skipped most of the Roseanne goes to fantasy land episodes of the show. They're usually tedious. But in this one, the cast of Roseanne ends up living out an episode of Gilligan's Island. And then the tables turn as the cast of Gilligan's Island ends up living out a scene from Roseanne.


Episode 5: December Bride

We've also skipped most of the wedding episodes of the show. But when Leon and Scott decide to tie the knot, Roseanne ruins everything with her, for once, good intentions.


Episode 6: The Thrilla Near The Vanilla Extract

Roseanne and Jackie feud in the supermarket over a job neither really wants while Dan and Mark feud at home over DJ's affection, which neither of them really needs.


Episode 7: Another Mouth To Shut Up

Ok, we're avoiding Roseanne's pregnancy and child, but it's time for her to come to terms with being a grandmother!


Episode 8: The Wedding

Darlene and David decide to get married, and it just about kills someone.


Episode 9: Heart And Soul

The Conners recuperate in the hospital, where Darlene and David have a scaled down reception.


Episode 10: Fights & Stuff

Is this the way it all ends? Dan and Roseanne have their most severe fight ever, and one of them decides to walk out on the family.

Roseanne Barrnoldargent has spent most of the last few years ruining the hard work she did in the 80s and 90s, making the most realistic American sitcom of the 20th century. While the original run of the series had its ups and -- hooooboy -- some very deep downs, it was mostly a well-written family comedy. John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf, and even Roseanne were dextrous enough to be funny while still injecting drama without reaching Melodrama. For the most part, the show has been about being progressive and understanding no matter what your political background. It was about acceptance, and being good to each other, especially your family, no matter what. That's why Roseanne's descent into looney right wing celebrity was so sad for long-time fans.

I loved the show. And I still love what it was. We're a few seasons into Roseanne Minus Roseanne, and it's on par with peak Roseanne, and certainly worth watching a large swath of its back catalog.

Episode 1: The Mommy's Curse

Change is afoot everywhere. The Lunchbox gets a new owner, and somebody liiiiiiikes Jackie.


Episode 2: A Stash From The Past

It's Blame Game Roulette as Roseanne finds a bag of pot in David's room and is determined to punish someone for possession.


Episode 3: Halloween V

We had no holiday episodes last season! Well, we fix that here when Nancy and Dan end up in a terrifying feud.


Episode 4: Thanksgiving '93

Oh! And a Thanksgiving Episode! Becky's back! She looks ... different. Also, Jackie appears to be Hella Pregnant.


Episode 5: Busted

Everyone's long-term relationships blow up due to a series of secrets and lies coming to the surface.


Episode 6: David Vs Goliath

The few secrets kept in the previous episode come to light to everyone, and soon DJ is the only child left at The Conner household.


Episode 7: Everyone Comes To Jackie's

Everything sucks for everyone.


Episode 8: Lies My Father Told Me

We haven't seen Dan's dad for a while. Last we knew he was a terrible parent who skipped out on his wife and married one of his son's friends. But could everything we know about him actually be wrong? Is Dan, maybe, the bad guy?


Episode 9: Body By Jake

We haven't seen Roseanne's mom for a while. Last we knew she was living in a retirement home being judgmental and awful to her children. But could everything we know about her actually be wrong? Or are stories about Roseanne's mom as funny as stories about Dan's dad are dark?


Episode 10: Skeleton In The Closet
​
It's Halloween again! And this time, the homophobe is Fred!

Episode 1: This Old House

Darlene has a boyfriend! Darlene has a boyfriend! And it's that guy who's going to end up being the least offensive character on Big Bang Theory! Also, Roseanne and Jackie dredge up some trauma when their childhood house is up for sale.


Episode 2: The Commercial Show

The Conner family is chosen to appear as customers in the new Rodbell's commercial. There's even breakups and characters leaving the show with minimal emotional impact!


Episode 3: Lies

Roseanne faces a lie detector at work.


Episode 4: Terms Of Estrangement

The bike shop closes down, and another character moves off the show. This one is a little more impactful.


Episode 5: The Dark Ages

It's all about power when The Conners forget to pay their electricity bill, and Darlene suffers for Becky's transgressions against the family.


Episode 6: Crime And Punishment

Jackie's new boyfriend isn't all he's cracked up to be, and Dan stands up for her. Also, DJ suffers for Darlene's transgressions against artistic decency.


Episode 7: War And Peace

Fallout from the previous episode.


Episode 8: It's A Boy!

The house sure has seemed quieter since Becky left. Looks like it's time to welcome a new family member!


Episode 9: Tooth Or Consequences

Roseanne and Jackie have been running a diner since Rodbell's closed, and its future comes into question when Roseanne's old boss, Leon, shows up as the local health inspector.


Episode 10: Daughters And Other Strangers

The show underwent quite the change when Becky got married and moved out of the house. What will happen when Darlene goes off to college?

Every year, more and more people on my various social media feeds post links to the Mountain Goats' "This Year". Some of them have never heard another Mountain Goats song, some of them have every album (even the cassettes) that John Darnielle ever even contemplated recording.

I'm not at all an expert on the band. I have dated and lived with a variety of people who played their songs since the late 90s. I have enjoyed the music, dismissed the music, been frustrated by songs put on repeat, and occasionally wished for an alternate universe where The Mountain Goats didn't exist (through no fault of the actual band). 

2020 was the year a series of communities were forced to move from in-person to online, and that included a poetry community I'm a part of. Every week we do a themed event where people might write about birds, water, wearing a bunny suit, their personal hells, whatever mood strikes the sadistic organizer (who is me). About 1/3rd of the weeks, someone submits a poem that references The Mountain Goats. It's not always the same person, either. Some of the rest of the group scratches their facial hair and says something akin to "I guess I'll have to look up these Mountainous Sheep" (many in the group are comfortably unhip) "and give their music a listen."

Well, here you are ye ancient poets. A primer discography for The Mountain Goats. Their actual output is stunningly dense with more songs that anyone should have to listen to in a year. I've cut and pasted their EPs and their full albums together, leaving almost no corner of their output untouched. The exception? The cassette albums. Ispent a majority of the mid to late nineties messing around with other peoples' four or eight track recorders trying to help them edit their concept album about cars or their whiney, accidentally misogynist songs about how nobody loved them. The unprofessional lofi hiss (there are some that rise to professional levels) just brings back too many boring memories, so I just can't endure the cassette output. But I am combing through everything else.

We're going to start with the lowest-fidelity I can handle. The early EPs leading up to their first full-length adventure: Zopilote Machine, as well as tracks from said album. It's one of the shorter albums I've ever done for one of these discographies, but 1.) The early Mountain Goats songs tend to blend together and cause me to lose interest after a while, and 2.) It feels wrong to make this longer. Tape is expensive!

Everybody ready?  Sinaloan Milk Snake Song pretty much encapsulates the early sound of The Mountain Goats for me. Strummy guitar, a seemingly stream of consciousness set of lyrics, nasally lead vocals. It's musically upbeat (partially due to the background vocals from The Casual Girls and the la la la la la la la la  refrains) while the lyrics are fairly downerish. It's a contrast that seems inherent in almost all of Darnielle's music. It just *sounds* like everything is going to be okay, even as he sings about how awful everything is.

We have a staticy interlude before the percussive guitar moves in for the near-Christmas song (holly and mistletoe?), Night Of The Mules. Clip-clop clip-clop. 

I bury the hum from the beginning of Pure Honey beneath the percussion of the previous track. I just enjoyed the way they flowed together. Like many of the songs on this mix, the track clocks in at under two minutes. It's just this weird little misdirect song, where you think it's going to have some sort of existential meaning, but it just plops in a random phrase and stops. They have a more famous version of this trick called "Monkey Song" but I much prefer this song, as the lyrics end almost as soon as it reaches the weirdness, and it just repeats the song instrumentally.

Azo The Nelli In Tlalticpac is quite the mouthful. And it sounds like pretty much every track where one dude plays a guiatar and sings a serious and repetitive song into a four track recorder. I'm not sure I'd like this song if it weren't so lo-fi. The lyrics are fine. The guitar is adequate. It just seems to be one of the prime listenable examples of this kind of recording.

Drum machines and keyboards? On this album? Yeup. If Song For Tura Santana wasn't recorded in a basement or a windowless one-room studio apartment, then it is a musical crime. It's so basic.

Then beneath the basic fade out, Barbara Streisand gets all melodramatic,  and then Quetzacoatl Is Born rises in nasally, strumming glory. It makes me want to break out the Saddle Creek catalogue, put on an unnecessary winter hat, and smoke some American Spirits. Into the fire you go!

We Have Seen The Enemy is one of those lovely Dude Talks Over Guitar Until Oh Shit! He's Singing Now Because This Is A Song. It's a trope I often enjoy, and this track is no exception. I also like that you get One Verse of the song, and then it's over.

On Tuesday nights for a few years, a few friends and writers would meet up for drinks at a bar called Grendel's Den. It's pretty much my only positive association with the Beowulf villain, apart from Grendel's Mother, which at least one of my former roommates used to sit in his bedroom and play for hours at a time.

Going To Lebanon seems like a musical continuation of the previous track. Like Grendel's mom has nowhere to run to / nowhere to go except Lebanon. And why not? We also have the return of The Casual Girls, who aren't always on-pitch, or even well-harmonized, and yet I enjoy them every time they show up in this discography. 

I guess Lebanon didn't work out for the narrator beause now he's Going To Maryland, and he didn't even take The Casual Girls with him! He's just focused on water. Which, ok. Why not?

Another song that bubbles in under the previous track is Pure Love which is a lovely keyboard-belltone song about how someone plots to steal the narrator's heart, even though he never mentions his heart or does more than hint that a crime has been committed. Also, it won't be necessary. He keeps telling you that.

The Mountain Goats has a series of songs from 1991-1995 called "Standard Bitter Love Song"s. They're fine. But my favorite bitter love song of his is Orange Ball Of Hate, which is also a counterpart to "Orange Ball Of Love", which is a fine song, but didn't quite make the cut for me, even though it would have been a neat callback.  

Pure Heat keeps mentioning the weather from the last track. We're nearing the end of this very short album, and this feels like just the track to tow us there.

In fact, here we are at the end, and, what's that? We have another journey to take? Ok, I guess we're Going To Georgia. This song just sounds like something twenty-somethings in the mid-nineties would yell loudly along with the band. The club was way past capacity because the fire codes wouldn't be taken seriously for another five or six years. The club reeks of cheap cigarettes, sweat, and probably a bit of patchouli. The bartenders are pissed because there is almost nobody over twenty at this show. And then the song stops, and the kids cheer, but they don't Go anywhere (not even Georgia or Maryland or Lebanon) because there's nothing else to do in this town but go to small indie shows and talk about leaving. "If I don't make it," the audience thinks, "I hope this band does."