I was getting some work done the other night, and was playing a variety of albums from my Guilty Pop list (which is all pop, only occasionally guilty). I threw on my Cyndi Lauper album and Comrade started singing along to the occasional song, or announcing "This is a bop. I thought Cyndi Lauper was mostly an actor." 

I, too, had a realization a decade or so ago that I kew way more Cyndi Lauper songs than I thought. Yea, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, yea True Colors, yea Time After Time. After that there were a few songs that if I thought about Cyndi long enough, I'd go "Oh, and..." All Through The Night, She Bop, Money Changes Everything. The rest of the songs on this album I wouldn't have been able to come up with if you asked me to name any Cyndi Lauper songs, but I know most to all of the words.

I had imagined this would be a One Album Discography, as I only heard the occasional uninspired cover song by Lauper after, say, 1989. But that's the fault of either the radio or my friends with poor taste, as Lauper has some interesting country, standards, and blues covers, mostly because her voice is still so unusual, and so passionate. I'll get to that album when I'm more familiar with her later work. 

1. Cascading down like synthesized rain, All Through The Night should have been the opening track of the original album. You could argue about opening it with "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" for the hit factor, but otherwise, this is the sensible opener to me. Sure, it's kind of a mid-tempo song, lacking the kick of some of the other tracks, but it's got a catchy chorus and it's simultaneously bright and haunting. It's the perfect weird track for this gorgeous, weird album. You also get a taste of Lauper's voice when it's not So Long Island.

2. In elementary/middle school, there were a trio of somwehat popular kids who had their own dialect of taunt. They used Italian words, and occasional song lyrics as they shook their heads at their targets. Iko Iko was one of their favorite taunts. I have no idea which version of the song they were familiar with but Lauper's was the first one I heard. 

3. When my partner, Comrade, first heard She's So Unusual, he asked why I had a Betty Boop song on my playlist. It is a lovely, weird little song. I suppose this is another song you could argue would be an appropriately odd opener for the album. The old 1940s style intro launches into a sort of generic girl-group sounding rock song. I don't mean the song sounds generic. It sounds like the one off-beat song that Bananarama or The Go-Gos released, The track where you could tell they were actually having fun.

4. The Faraway Nearby is a song that I could have only heard when listening to Lauper's True Colors album. I don't ever remember it until it's playing. I've always loved the way she sings "out from the faraway", and I love the way the ending of the song seamlessly transitions to 

5. True Colors. One of those rare songs that's not written by the vocalist but becomes the vocalist's song. The lyricist, Billy Steinberg, says that he wrote this song as a gospel piano ballad, passed it along to Lauper who decon and reconstructed it to fit her voice and style. It's one of the most resonant ballads of the 1980s in that you can definitely identify when it was produced and recorded but it still has a timeless emotional appeal. The world has never needed Phil Collins, Ana Kendrick, or Justin Timberlake to cover it.

6. I'm not sure which movie soundtrack I think Change Of Heart should have appeared on. It could be a rom-com, it could be an action movie, it could have been the shopping montage from Pretty Woman. It definitely belongs somewhere. It has such a great upbeat energy. I didn't know until this listenthrough that the backing vocalists are The Bangles, who you'll note, I didn't list as a generic girl group earlier. They're one of the most solid pop-rock groups of the 80s. The video for this was shot in England, and it includes a poster for Nightmare On Elm Street 2, an accidentally gay camp horror. This is so on brand for Lauper that it can't be an accident.

7. Lauper's interpretations of almost any song she voices becomes undeniably hers. It's rare that I listen to one of her songs and think "You could use this exact arrangement and replace her vocals with another famous singer, and it would work perfectly as is." Money Changes Everything,  however, could have been a hit for any ambitious New Wave singer from Ric Ocasek to David Byrne to Annie Lennox to Debby Harry to any and all of the vocalists in the B-52s.

8. Do I need to say anything about Girls Just Want To Have Fun? This is the one song Everyone Knows is by Cyndi Lauper. It's one of the most iconic songs and videos from the 1980s. Lauper has had a long career crossing into a variety of genres. Her live shows can pull from anywhere in her extensive catalog, but I think any fan would feel robbed if she didn't sing this bop (as opposed to another upcoming bop) at some point during her performance. This is another of the rare songs I wish I heard the B-52s cover.

9. I earlier disparaged Phil Collins's cover of True Colors. Calm Before The Storm is the most Phil Collinsy song from Lauper's catalog. I'm not sure if it's the production on the drums or the way she holds on to the notes but I could definitely hear this coming off Hello, I Must Be Going. I mean this in the best possible way for both artists.

10. From Phil Collinsish to actually Billy Joel. Code Of Silence is one of the many unexpected duets on Joel's vastly underrated  and weirdly unhappy The Bridge.  If you really hate Billy Joel, give this album a listen. There are some pretty catchy songs that were never really hits, and he claims to have been absolutely miserable when recording it.

11. My father collected cassettes of old radio shows, which I used to listen to. This gave me some weird associations growing up. For example, I always think of The Shadow episode "Nursery Rhyme Killer" whenever I see Boy Blue, be it little or no. This is the song I least remember, apart from the On the street, kids walkin',/Just a kid walkin', just a kid walkin', just a kid/Where are you/Where are you/Where are you boy blue/Hey, where are you section near the end, which sound like they belong in a low budget Corey Feldman/Corey Haim movie...probably Dream A Little Dream, not that I'd change a single song from that movie.

​12. Someone told me what the song She-Bop was about when I was way too young to have any idea what they meant. It was a just a quirky song with that bee-bop-ba-LOOP-she-boppart that everyone loved to sing along to. It wasn't until I heard that certain Divinyls song that I went, Ohhhhh, right, like She-Bop!The synths on this track are so 1984, it's sort of shocking that George Orwell didn't play them.

13. More synth magic sets the mood for When You Were Mine. I love the contrast between the alternating verses, one being a chill multi-track, the next being single track super Cyndi crooning. There's also some killer head voice that pops up here.

14. We close off the album with the classic ballad, Time After Time. This is one of those songs that gets covered frequently, but often by interesting vocalists, even though this is nearly the most mainstream Cyndi's voice ever sounds. Rob Hyman gets props for a basic-ass performance of the melody that make Lauper's harmonies soar. It's almost Simon and Garfunkely in its beautiful simplicity. I also love ending the album on fading whispers.

The Age of Backstage Shenanigans, Directors Of Authority, and General Managers runs amok across both WWE and, its closest competition, TNA/Impact while Ring Of Honor remains the house of great wrestling and terrible storytelling. 

There is a lot of old WCW blood taking power in WWE and TNA as well, as Eric Bischoff co-manages the WWE with Steve Austin, and Dusty Rhodes's run as the Director of Authority in TNA gives way to a ... *prolonged sigh* ... Vince Russo era. There's something awful about even the idea of Vince Russo in a position of power in a company that can't keep the belt off of Honkey Tonk Junior, Jeff Jarrett. But, somehow, by the end of the season, Vince Russo ends up being a ... good ... guy? It ends surprisingly well, considering how terrible the company was when he took over.

As you can tell by the cover photo, this is also the age when The Radicalz really, really got their due in WWE, and AJ Styles becomes the face of TNA.

701. The New Bosses, 2003

Announcers: Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

It's sort of cheap-ass comic book/TV storytelling, but at the end of last season, Eric Bischoff fired JR for not producing Steve Austin. Steve Austin showed up and beat up Eric Bischoff, but this did not mean that JR got his job back. So we ended the season with the team of Jerry Lawler and Jonathan Coachman announcing. Well, we start this season with co-general managers Eric Bischoff and Steve Austin, and the first thing that happens is JR gets his job back. And with more backstage shenanigans (but at least its not McMahon focused?) we see Brock Lesnar, who was betrayed by Paul Heyman at the end of last season, get his revenge, too. But the big story of this episode? Evolution.

1. Jerry Lawler vs Val Venis
2. Brock Lesnar & Chris Benoit vs The World's Greatest Tag Team (as Team Angle)
3. Scott Steiner vs Batista
4. Brock Lesnar vs Paul Heyman in a Steel Cage
5. Trish Stratus (WWE Womans Champ) vs Jazz
6. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs Brock Lesnar

702. Sports Entertainment Xtreme, 2003

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Jeremy Borash, Goldylocks

Getting through TNA"s weekly pay-per-views in 2003/2004 was a Slog. Yes, there were some amazing feuds, storylines, and matches that take place in this era, but there was also some garbage so bad that it felt like latter days WCW. In that spirit, the first match of this season is lumbering dinosaurs (Dusty Rhodes and LoD were each fifteen to twenty years past their prime at this point, and Vince Russo has consistenly been the least talented piece of shit in wrestling history), but it gets singificantly better from there. We even get a little ECW flashback with Raven and Sandman.

1. Triple X & Vince Russo vs Jeff Jarrett, Dusty Rhodes & LoD
2. America's Most Wanted vs Rock & Roll Express
3. Zach Gowen vs Roag Dogg
4. Triple X (Impact Tag Team Champs) vs Disciples Of The New Church
5. Raven vs Sandman in a Falls Count Anywhere Match
6. Kid Cash (X Champ) vs Paul London
7. Jeff Jarrett (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs AJ Styles

703. Anarchy In The Asylum, 2003 
Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Jeremy Borash, Goldylocks

Jeff Jarrett had an absolute death grip on the TNA title scene in 2003, and I'm going to try and ignore his matches as much as possible. I mean, how many times can you feign interest in  a middle-aged guy hitting someone with a guitar  (often, not even hitting the intended target) and pretend it's a reasonable finish for a wrestling match? Wasn't that done to death by the Honky Tonk Man in the 80s? We get a brief moment with Vader here, and D-Lo Brown enters the scene, as well.

1. Jerry Lynn vs Juventud Guerrerra
2. Dusty Rhodes & Vader vs The Harris Brothers
3. Raven vs Sandman in a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun Match
4. Raven vs AJ Styles in a Ladder Match
5. Jeff Jarrett (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs D-Lo Brown
6. Four Way Tag Team Elimination Match
Jerry Lynn & The Amazing Red vs Chris Sabin & Jonny Storm vs Jason Cross & Shark Boy vs Triple X

7. Triple X (Impact Tag Team Champs) vs Jerry Lynn & Amazing Red
8. Anarchy In The Asylum
D-Lo Brown, Brian Lawler, James Storm, Justin Credible, Kid Kash, Konnan, Mike Awesome, Perry Saturn, Rick Steiner, R-Truth, Disco Inferno, AJ Styles, Buff Bagwell, Sonny Siaki, Traci,  and Sabu.

704. Redneck Heaven, 2003

Announcers: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Josh Mathews, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel
​
We're going to get back to Evolution's climb next episode, but now it's all about The Next Big Thing. Brock Lesnar plows through this episode with three star making matches, Chris Jericho and Goldberg renew a real life rivalry from the days of WCW, and we get the debut of Dominik Mysterio! Ok, he won't be wrestling for another twenty years or so, but he puts in an appearance here (and, no, not because of a particular terrible storyline). 

1. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs John Cena
2. The World's Greatest Tag Team (as Team Angle) (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri in a Ladder Match
​
3. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs The Big Show in a Stretcher Match
4. Matt Hardy (WWE Cruserweight Champ) vs Rey Mysterio
5. Goldberg vs Chris Jericho
6. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs The Big Show

705. Expansion Of Honor, 2002, 2003

Announcers: Jimmy Bower, Jeff Gorman, Stephen DeAngelis

We've seen AJ Styles start his rise in TNA, and we got a peek at early days Daniel Bryan, but now CM Punk and Samoa Joe begin their ascent to the top of indie wrestling. 

1. CM Punk vs Colt Cabana
2. Paul London vs Daniel Bryan
3. Samoa Joe (ROH Champ) vs Zebra Kid
4. AJ Styles & Low Ki vs Christopher Daniels & Xavier
5. BJ Whitmer vs Colt Cabana vs Paul London vs Homicide
6. Ace Steel & CM Punk vs Colt Cabana & Raven

​706. They Come In Threes

Announcers: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Teri Runnels, Josh Mathew, Lilian Garcia, Tony Chimel

Ruthless Aggression really finds its groove with superstars here as Rock And Wrestling legends, The New Generation Stars, The Attitude Era Stars, and the new crop of stars from OVW all intermingle to put on some top tier matches. 

1. Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels
2. Triple H vs Diesel (as Kevin Nash) in Hell In A Cell
3. Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit for the vacant WWE US Championship
​4. The World's Greatest Tag Team vs Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio
5. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle

707. Totally Ntense Athleticism, 2003

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Jeremy Borash

TNA had some top notch tag teams at a time when WWE was just throwing two superstars together for a few months just to set up an inevitible feud when they broke up. Check out the early days of some current TNA and AEW tag teams as they mostly stole the spotlight from the non-Aj Styleses and CM Punkses. Plus, Sting returns for, shockingly, not even close to his Swan Song era.

1. Team Extreme vs Disciples Of The New Church in a 6 Man Hardcore Match
2. Triple X (Impact Tag Team Champs) vs AJ Styles & D-Lo Brown
3. Paul London vs CM Punk vs Jason Cross vs Kid Romeo
4. Sonny Siaki vs Sandman in a Raven's Rules Match
5. Jeff Jarret (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs AJ Styles vs Raven
6. Chris Sabin (Impact X Champ) vs Paul London
7. Triple X (Impact Tag Team Champs) vs America's Most Wanted 
8. Jeff Jarret & Sting vs AJ Styles & X-Pac

708. Evolution, 2003

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Howard Finkel, Tony Chamel

The Steve Austin/Eric Bischoff story takes a turn when the spotlight starts to shine on a reinvigorated Kane. He doesn't have any matches in this episode, but he's setting up a great storyline. Plus, Randy Orton becomes The Legend Killer, one of his greatest gimmicks, and has his first excellent match with Shawn Michaels. Plus, The Elimination Chamber is packed full of greatness.

1. Eddie Guerrero (WWE US Champ) vs Chris Benoit vs Rhyno vs Tajiri
2. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs Brock Lesnar
3. Elimination Chamber Match for WWE Championship
Triple H (WWE World Heavyweight Champ), Goldberg, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, Diesel (as Kevin Nash)

4. Randy Orton vs Shawn Michaels

709. Honorifics, 2003

Announcers: Jimmy Bower, Mark Nulty, Chris Nelson, Stephen DeAngelis

According to legend, this episode contains the greatest match ROH has ever put on, Daniel Bryan (as The American Dragon) vs Paul London's 2 out of 3 Falls Match, plus the CM Punk and Raven feud that started in the last ROH episode really picks up here.


1. Mickey James (as Alexis Laree) vs Sumie Sukai
2. Daniel Bryan vs Paul London in a 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match
3. Samoa Joe (ROH Champ) vs Homicide
4. AJ Styles (TNA Heavyweight Champ)  vs Paul London
5. CM Punk vs Raven in a Dog Collar Match

710. Rampages In Cages, 2003

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don Wet, Jeremy Borash

TNA's first cage match, and one of its early cage title matches. We have more excellent tag team work, and minimal (but still more than I'd like) Vince Russo involvement. Weirdly, while CM Punk is dragging Raven for his drug use over in Ring of Honor, he is desperately trying to be a member of his flock in TNA.​​

1. Triple X (Impact Tag Team Champs) vs America's Most Wanted in a Steel Cage
3. Shane Douglas vs CM Punk in a Clockwork Fun House Match
4. America's Most Wanted (Impact Tag Champs) vs Johnny Swinger & Simon Diamond
5. Chris Sabin (Impact X Champ) vs Michael Shane
6. America's Most Wanted (Impact Tag Champs) vs Johnny Swinger & Simon Diamond in a Strap Match
7. AJ Styles (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs D-Lo Brown in a Steel Cage

711. Trust & Respect, 2003

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Teri Runnels, Josh Matthews, Tony Chimel, Lilian Garcia, Howard Finkel

We finally get some payoff for the Kane is a killer storyline, we see a classic underrated match in Tajiri vs Mysterio, and we close off the Bischoff/Austin frenemyship that's dominated this season. 

1. Christian (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho vs RvD
2. Kane vs Shane McMahon
3. Tajiri (WWE Cruserweight Champ) vs Rey Mysterio
4. Kurt Angle vs John Cena
5. Team Bischoff vs Team Austin in a Survivor Series Match
(Chris Jericho, Christian, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner vs Shawn Michaels, Booker T, RvD, The Dudley Boyz)

 712. Beating The Odds, 2003

​Announcers: Jimmy Bower, Jeff Gorman, Stephen DeAngelis

Not many intriguing storylines here, just solid wrestling from future WWE/AEW stars.

1. Samoa Joe (ROH Heavyweight Champ) vs Christopher Daniels
2. AJ Styles vs CM Punk
3. Samoa Joe (ROH Champ) vs Jay Briscoe
4. AJ Styles vs Daniel Bryan
5. The Briscoes (ROH Tag Team Champs) vs Samoa Joe & AJ Styles
6. CM Punk vs Raven in a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun Match

713. Super X Cup & Old Timey Rassling, 2003

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Jeremy Borash

​There's a youthfulness to the non-title scene in this season that I find fascinating in contrast to the title scene which features Raven, Jeff Jarrett, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Duggan, Scott Steiner, Sting, and Lex Luger, most of whom practically needed walkers to get in the ring, nevermind wrestle.

1. AJ Styles (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs Raven
2. Teddy Hart vs Juventud Guerrera
3. Chris Sabin vs Frank Gazarian
4. Chris Sabin vs Juventud Guerrera
5. Sonny Siaki vs D-Lo Brown in a Casket Match
6. AJ Styles (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs Dusty Rhodes
7. Jeff Jarret (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs Jim Duggan
8. Jeff Jarret (Impact Heavyweight Champ) vs Rick Steiner 
​9. AJ Styles & Sting vs Jeff Jarett & Lex Luger

714. Raw Roulette, 2004

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Josh Matthews, Teri Runnels, Tony Chimel, Lilian Garcia, Howard Finkel

Randy Orton's Legend Killer gimmick starts to really take off, we get a truly excellent rumble, and the Lesnar / Guerrero feud begins. This is peak Smackdown era WWE.

1. Randy Orton vs Sgt Slaughter
2. Royal Rumble
(Chris Benoit, Randy Orton, Mark Henry, Tajiri, Bradshaw, Rhyno, Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner, Matt Morgan, The Hurricane, Booker T, Kane, Spike Dudley, Rikishi, René Duprée, Prince Albert, Shelton Benjamin, Ernest Miller, Kurt Angle, Rico, Mick Foley, Christian, Nunzio, Big Show, Chris Jericho, Charlie Haas, Billy Gunn, John Cena, RvD, Goldberg)

3. Christian vs Chris Jericho
4. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs Eddie Guerrero

715. Under New Management/Same As The Old Management, 2004

Announcers: Don West, Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Jeremy Borash

Here we go, it's mostly homegrown talent, ECW stalwarts, and a couple of 90s WWE guys (which is a step up from the 70s and 80s WWE guys) starting to absolutely wreck things in the best possible way. We also get a fun AAA aaapearance, in the vein of the 80s WCW/New Japan battles.

1. Juventud Guerrera vs Chris Sabin
2. Team AAA vs Team TNA in a Survivor Series Match
Abismo Negro, Hector Garza, Juventud Guerrera, Essa Rios vs Chris Sabin, Elix Skipper, Jerry Lynn, Sonjay Dutt

3. Michael Shane vs R-Truth
4. Raven & Sabu vs The Gathering
5. Abyss vs AJ Styles in a Tables Match
6. Rumble For Rank
R-Truth, D-Lo Brown, David Young, Disco Inferno, Johnny Swinger, Kid Kash, Konnan, Michael Shane, Simon Diamond, Sonny Siaki

7. AJ Styles vs Raven vs Abyss vs R-Truth in a Four Corners Match

716. Legend Killers, 2004

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Lilian Garcia, Tony Chimel, Howard Finkel

It's still the era of Evolution and The Radicalz, as Eddie Guerrerro continues his title run, and the Legend Killer does his best to goad Mick Foley back into the ring, which results in the return of another Attitude Era star.

1. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Champ) vs Kurt Angle
2. Chris Jericho vs Christian & Trish Stratus​
3. Evolution vs Rock & Sock Connection
4. Triple H (WWE World Heavyweight Champ) vs Shawn Michaels vs Chris Benoit

717. Backlash, 2004

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Lilian Garcia, Tony Chimel, Howard Finkel

It's a violent, bloody, mess of an episode as Mick Foley goes Full Cactus Jack on the Legend Kller, and Eddie Guerrero wears the crimsonest mask in his battle with JBL (a newly racist billionaire version of John Layfield, the non-racist, powerhouse, working class member of APA). Plus, Jacqueline gets some spotlight time, and Chris Benoit proves he deserves his title run against DX.

1. Randy Orton (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) 
2. Chris Benoit (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Triple H & Shawn Michaels
3. Chavo Guerrero (WWE Cruserweight Champ) vs Jacqueline
3. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Champ) vs JBL

718. End Of An Error, 2004

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Jeremy Borash

This marks the end of TNA's weekly pay-per-views, and not a moment too soon. Some might even suggest, a year too late. 

1. Frank Kazarian & Michael Shane vs La Parka & Psykosis
2. AJ Styles (Impact Heabyweight Champ) vs R-Truth
3. America's Most Wanted vs The Naturals
4. Petey Williams (Impact X Champ) vs Sonjay Dutt
5. Abyss vs Sabu in a Falls Count Anywhere Match
6. America's Most Wanted vs The Naturals in a Steel Cage
7. La Parka vs Alex Shelley
8. Jeff Jarrett (TNA Heavyweight Champ) vs Jeff Hardy

719. Truthless Aggression, 2004

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Tony Chimel, Howard Finkel

Randy Orton takes a break from killing legends to defend his title against younger superstar, Shelton Benjamin. Plus, DX continues to battle each other, this time in a Hell Of A Cell. And JBL and Gerrero have a killer rematch.

1. Randy Orton vs Shelton Benjamin
2. Chris Benoit (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Kane
4. Triple H vs Shawn Michaels in Hell In A Cell
5. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Champ) vs JBL in a Texas Bullrope Match

720. The Long Game

Announcers: Jimmy Bower, Jeff Gorman, CM Punk, Stephen DeAngelis

Three superlong, incredible matches starring the future of WWE and AEW..

1. Samoa Joe (ROH Heavyweight Champ) vs AJ Styles
2. Samoa Joe (ROH Heavyweight Champ) vs CM Punk
3. Daniel Bryan vs Austin Aries in a 2/3 Falls Match

For the last few years, when I've looked at Best Of album lists, or which albums have won grammys, I kept seeing the name Jacob Collier, and thinking, I should probably check him out. And by the time I did, I realized he was someone I was quasi-familiar with for his split screen Youtube covers. They're impressive from an arragement perspective. It clearly takes a lot of talent and time to do what he did, and he has a pleasing croony voice, but split screen covers aren't really a genre I enjoy. At some point, I saw him doing live          sing-along covers where he did a different song every night of a tour, and, again, I thought it was an impressive concept, and he clearly has legions of devoted fans, but it's not the type of thing I seek out.

So when his fourth consecutive album came out on the fourth consecutive Best Of The Year list, I did more research and kept seeing him listed as a songwriter. Not just an arranger. Ok. I bought each of his albums, and decided to give them all a proper listen to and see if any of it appealed to me.

It's not necessarily music I'm going to play frequently. He does have a calming tone and a rich voice. He hovers around several music styles, usually with a jazz/chill bent. You can hear the acapella kid in every track, nor matter how many instruments there are. And while, again, it's not necessarily something I seek out to listen to, it does fill me with nostalgia for my own time in acapella groups and doing musical theater. Even if it's not something I'm currently invested in, there's no denying that Jacob Collier is one of the best at what he does, and that alone means I'm going to keep going back from time to time to see what he's up to.

This reimagined album is mostly made up of the Djesse Sequence, which comprise his second, third, and fourth albums. 

1. Percussion is almost as important to this album as close harmonies, so we start with a drum beat, some tinkling chimes, and then the scat harmonies. The first lead singer on the album is actually Lianne La Havas who has a bit of an early Alicia Keys vibe as she breathily leads Feel, occasionally blanketed by Collier's multiple harmonies, as well as her own multiplied voice. It is a gorgeous effect. It surrounds such a simplistic, generic, easily rhyming song about first love that has an almost tropically soothing melt.

2. Rising out of the repeated vocals of the previous track is a single flute, eventually joined by multiple woodwinds and then, of course, close harmonies. Calling a song called Sky Above ethereal is kind of a no brainer, but it is. This is a children's lullaby/folk song with additional harmonies from MARO and Becca Stevens. 

3. In Too Deep comes in like a soft rain before the main vocals hit, at which point it gets as close to modern R&B as Collier seems likely to get. The instruments are pure soft jazz, as opposed to R&B but Kiana Ledé's vocals have an R&B tonality that plays perfctly against Collier's layered croon. The chorus mantra is hypnotic, especially the way it's buried in the mix.

4. We're back to intense percussion with Dun Dun Ba Ba. Fuck this song is infectious. This song is an example of Collier's genius at arrangement. The lead vocals have him sped up at an unrecognizable but not unbelievable tone. The Cuban drumming is efuckenlectric. 

5. There is another rise of layered vocals to bring us into the only cover I included on the album, Moon River is a song I've heard from so many different artists that I don't associate it with anyone. I will now associate it with Jacob Collier. He goes through an entire verse of the song with just harmonized humming. It sounds like a mimd-twentieth century Disney cartoon arrangement.  The second verse starts with chiming acapella percussion before the lyrics kick in. The final verse ascends from chromatic mantra to a seemingly infinitely layered choir. Like twenty Pentatonixes performing at once. It's nearly overwhelming.

6. From the absurd crescendo of the previous track, we drop into stringed instruments and a very Beatles with Beach Boy backing vocals vibe. It makes you realize just how much of a Brian Wilson influence is in much of Collier's work.  Make Me Cry is a soft rock pop future classic.

7. The title track to this imagined album, and the four album sequence it pulls from, Djesse is a self reflection and a romantic myth wrapped in one musical theater opener. Metropole Orkest is a perfect accompaniment here. 

8. With The Love In My Heart is more madness with The Metropole Orkest. It's tough to categorize this. It blends so many genres that it falls into the worrying category of "World" which is one of those genres that eans nothing to me, as it could be anything from anywhere.  It's usually the musical equivalent of colonialism and appropriation. But that's not the case here. This is a blending of so many influences that it becomes a new thing. It's almost Beckish in the best possible way. It then deflates into nautical bells and another chant mantra chorus.

9. Ty Dolla $ign and Mala join in the fun in the 1970s groovefest, All I Need. I love this track but don't have a lot to say about it.

10. Daniel Caesar and some cool effects are the highlight of Time Alone With You. We have more sped up vocals slipping around Caesar's chill delivery. It's almost Prince's Camille but with better technology. 

11. Do You Feel Love hits Much Heavier than any other track on this album. But it goes from its explosive beginning to a Michael Jacksonesque pop track. You know, heavy guitar riffs by a legend of hard rock (in this case, Steve Vai) over pop music that is somehow not incogruous. It also has lyrics about being dangerous, and, like Jackson, you like the song but think "Aw, honey, nobody is ever going to be afraid of your badassery." There is a nice moment of Freddy Mercuryesque background vocals just before we hit the obligatory chant mantra portion at the end of the song. Unlike previous songs, I think the chant mantra well overstays its welcome on this track, and I thought about cutting it, but I like this song as a loud outlier.

12. Thunder rolls us into a soft woodwind vibe before we pop back into the Jason Mrazy acapella style pop of It Don't Matter, complete with hand claps and snaps. Jojo's presence on this track is delightfully playful, as are the trilling keyboards.

13. Tori Kelly absolutely drives Running Outta Love, a straight up R&B pop song that wouldn't feel out of place in the early 90s or the early 2000s. 

14. Lizzy McAlpine takes over the lead vocals for Never Gonna Be Alone, with John Mayer on cosmic, echoey, guitar. This really feels like the end of a trilogy of songs that started with "It Don't Matter". I'm not sure if it's the three female lead vocalists, or if it's that Collier has a limited lyrical style, so it sounds like these songs are calling back to each other, though I'm pretty sure it's unintentional. 

15. Closing out the album is the first song I heard when I started this project, He Won't Hold You. It's pure Collier. He comes back to helm the song as lead vocalist until the halfway mark when Rapsody enters to provide the inspirational rap breakdown. The album ends, of course, on a chant mantra with layered harmonies. As it should.

What was my favorite album from 2022? Unquestionably, Gabriels's Angels And Queens. I had missed their EPs, and was far, far away from watching American Idol by the time lead singer Jacob Lusk was on it. But hearing this album made me find every track I could from this band, and all of them are on this album except one song, which commits the crime of being the only very good track by a band who consistently makes Otherworldly Perfect tracks.

​I'm not going to say much more about it as an album. You can get how I feel from the description of every track on this album.

​I can't wait to put together the next reimagined album in their discography.

1. We begin with chimes and a single bass strum before the voice comes in. The voice. Oh, god. Loyalty declares I ain't gonna stop loving you before a woman's voice, beautiful but lacking the lustre of the the main vocals, comes in for alternating verses. This song is so intrumentally spare and vocally lush that it actually earns the term "haunting'. This is a timeless song that could have been released in the 1930s or last week. This is one of those songs that, if you're fresh from a broken relationship absolutely Hurts to listen to, and yet has you reaching for whatever button on your device will let you listen to it just One More Time.

2. Some hand claps and swallowed consonants later, and we're in the Luther Vandross thick Blind. The first time the breakdown happens and reveals we are absolutely in the 21st century, it's a revelation. Lusk's trills are so precise and ... is there a proper antonym for quavering that still allows for vibration?  It occured to me as I listened to this, that I had no idea about the quality of the lyrics because the vocals were so powerful that the lyrics almost didn't matter to me. They're really basic love pop but, damn, Lusk can make you feel anything with his voice.

3. On the flip side of this, the lyrics to Angels And Queens are fucken banger, and drenched with the sort of funk that the musicians of Silk Sonic, talented as they are, can only dream of inspiring to. This is the zenith of unrequieted love funk. And there's not a hint of the misogyny that Mars and Paak cant help but squeeze into every one of their songs.

4. I haven't really talked about the orchestration on some of these tracks, other than mentioning its timeless. Simultaneously super retro and futuristic. Blame is a perfect example of this, as Lusk's vocals sounds like a high pitched 1930s animated cartoon devil. As he sings a love song that coud double as a crushing civil rights anthem, a self-help track, or a gospel lamentation. ¿Por qué no todos?

5. There is a Nina Simone inspired lead in to Stranger with an absolute crushing harmony set against a shimmering guitar. It brings to mind the musical dexterity of Nick Cave and Tom Waits but with soulful vocals that's just beyond almost any other modern pop/rock/soul vocalist.  The bridge soars. Reviewers and critics use that phrase pretty frequently, but I feel like, after you listen to this song, every other song's bridge merely floats. When the bass goes stacatto against the falsetto, it's actually transcendent. I had to blink, look around, and make sure I was actually still in my living room, awake, and merely listening to music.

6. I have easily heard dozens of covers of Screamin' Jay Hawkins's I Put A Spell On You. I don't need to hear any more. I wouldn't say this version invalidates the power of the original. No, Hawkins's original is an untouchable classic. But this violin-centric cover is what every slowed down, retro, Postmodern Jukebox style track inspires to be, but isn't quite. Not an homage. Merely, a second perfect version of a classic song. Hmmm, a third. I had almost forgot about the Nina Simone version, which would have been a crime. The skat vocals in the middle of this track are so tight that is he had trilled another millisecond, he would have split his DNA.

7. My partner loves flamingos. I don't know his stance on The Flamingos, but I think, with the possible exception of Lauryn Hill, they ourtight own doo-wop doo-wop. I would caution any other artist from trying to borrow or sample that seminal piece of music history. But The Gabriels, with just piano, bass, harmony, and finger snaps have stolen doo-wop doo-wop and tossed it into the heavens. In Loving Memory is a haunting, eternal, love song.

8. There are very few upbeat tracks on this album. But there is a 1970s soul groove to Remember Me that makes you want to toss on roller skates and just chill your way around a track for a few minutes. It's a Teddy Pendergrass track with ... I don't want to say Luther Vandross vocals because it's more than that but also reminiscent of that. It's almost like if Luther Vandross had squeezed the fuckboi out of CeeLo Green's range. 

9. Innocence booms into the room. Is there a lyric in this song that isn't belted? Not so much. Is there a lyric in this song that needed more restraint? No. The quivering strings under the thunderous vocals and the occasional paino smash are pure musical theater carnage. Ain't love a hypocrite leaves the listener absolutely slain as the strings come back in. When the harmonies come in during the final verse, the audience of ghosts evaporates.

10. Another rare upbeat song, Taboo is very Gnarls Barkley era CeeLo Green. I know I mentioned him somewhat despairingly just a couple of paragraphs ago, but Green was a giant in modern soul and R&B, and if he'd released more songs like this istead of, uhh, being who he is, his name would still be on the tongues of every music fan. Lots of delightfully naughty words in this one. Totally worth every one.

11. Mama sounds more modern than almost any other track on this album. With its pitch-shifted mutterings in the background, and more relaxed vocals, this is one song I can imagine other modern artists covering and not embarrassing themselves. There's a little bit of Sampha's vocal stylings from (No One Knows Me) Like The Piano in this song, and I'm here for it.

12. The 1930's orchestral sound is back as lushly as possible in Bloodline. I can see this as a black and white animation. Again, the devil. But the sweetest devil. The most beguiling lover. The most inspirational crooner. 

13. If You Only Knew with its spare piano trilling, and its gospel chorus, would be the highlight of almost anyone else's album. It's gorgeous, and instantly sing-alongable. I mean, you're not going to do the vocals any justice, but you're going to try. And you're going to geel good about singing. And yet, this isn't even close to the best song on this album. That's how aspirationally great this album is that this could be just an average track. Ooof.

14. Back to the mid-20th century cinema we go for To The Moon And Back. That touch of Nina in the delivery. Those muted, echoey background vocals. The song drenches you in music. Most songs, when I'm into them, I feel like I'm in the room listening to the artist perform them. Here, I fell like I'm sitting in the center of a room with the music surrounding me. The vocals are from everywhere. Every instrument in the orchestra is directed at a different bone, organ, or muscle in my body. It is radiating every pore. 

15. We break out of that song with an upbeat piano riff, and some classic 70s soul vocals. One And Only is a Stand Up And Dance anthem. It brings a kind of musical joy I haven't felt since Lizzo dropped Good As Hell. It's a song that makes you want to strut, even if you would look absolutely ridiculous doing it. 

16. Gabriels recorded a short film version of "Love And Hate In A Different Tme" which ends with Lusk's performance of Strange Fruit through a megaphone at a Black Lives Matter protest. I prefer flipping the order of these two songs but, ooof do they play beautifully off each other.

17. So we close out with the aforementioned Love And Hate In A Different Time.  It's not the best banger from this album. Not the smoothest ballad. But it's the kind of song where I can see credits rolling over it. It has a much different style of background vocals than anything else on this album. 

For 2023, I'm trying to listen to recent bands who either flew under my radar, or whose work I didn't give enough attention to because I'm older, and radio is pretty much dead, and I prefer listening to the music I've purchased from the unscrupulous 20th and 21st century record companies than Spotify, which still gives money to the unscrupulous record companies but adds another layer of scum on top of it. I'm perusing people's Best Of 201x or 202x lists, buying what sounds good to me, and then doing what I usually do with music I like, paring it down to the songs I love.

Alvvays most recent album showed up on several Best Of 2022 lists, and I remembered hearing one of their songs enough times that the name Alvvays registered but I didn't have a feel for the band.

Having listened to their first two albums a few times each now, I feel comfortable recommending it to people who really loved 90s music indie soundtracks. Not necessarily Super Underground Films, but things more along the lines of Pump Up The Volume, Run Lola Run, and Clerks which had soundtracks that looked forward rather than the nostalgia fueled Quentin Tarantino flicks or the Seattle focused Singles Soundtrack. This is a melodically and tempo-diverse set of songs that have one thing in common: sludgy female vocals buried too deep in the mix. It's a style that seemed super big in the early to mid-nineties. I don't hate it, or I wouldn't have bothered making this album, but I generally prefer the vocals to be a bit clearer than they're going to be on any of these tracks.

1. Lottery Noises is the perfect opening track for this album, as it has an ambient start with clear lyrics and then the wall of guitars come in to bury Molly Rankin's vocals. It's an uplifting montage song shot with a shaky black and white handheld camera. There's lots of running, and it's unclear whether it's playfully or purposefully away from whoever is holding the camera. 

2. The 80s drumbeat and new wavey effects may give you the hint that Very Online Guy is going to be an 80s throwback, but then there's the vocals, and it's no mistake that the crew in the studio was wearing flannel. The video is very borderline 80s/90s. More dial-up than DSL, certainly. Like many of the tracks, I don't really get a sense of the lyrics because they're so deep in the mix. But, as you might guess, they're about a troll.

3. On the flipside, the lyrics on Your Type are easy to discern, though they're no more clearer here than on any other track. But it's a Very 90s unrequited love track with a bouncy beat and an almost 80s/early 90s REM delivery. 

4. Velveteen is the most most 90s soundtrack closing song on the album. Any video would just be credits rolling. Winona Rider, Clare Danes, or Christian Slater is the lead. There's a climbing synthesizer in the background that contrasts very nicely with the muddy lyrics. The vocals skyrocket nearly into head voice at the end, and it's beautiful.

5. The early lyrics in Forget About Life grab me more than any other lyrics on the album so far. I adore the spare arrangement, and the way the synth gets called out in the lyrics just after it starts to buzz a riff that most groups would have put on guitar. Then we get the piano sound building into the background before the song crashes into instrumental break. It's probably my favorite song on the album, and it's definitely the make out scene in the film that the audience has been waiting for. I especially love the wavy outro.

6. The blooby intro to Hey weaves wonderfully with "Forget About Life"'s outro, and then introduces a very 80s U2 guitar effect over the usual grungesurftar melody. It's definitely a head bopper as it bounces between Garbage and The Cardigans. If "Forget About Life" is the single from this album, this should be the B-Side.

7. I've said a couple of times that the lyrics aren't usually the main draw for me on this album but College education is a dull knife cut right through me. Yeup.  You can perfectly hear the despair of going to college because it's what's expected of you in  Easy On Your Own. I didn't quite feel like I was in my early 20s again but I definitely felt like those nights where I waks up in a panic because I dreamed I had to go back to school.

8. Belinda Says is a perfect follow up, as it talks about moving back to the country and just seeing how life goes if you surrender to it. The driving guitars near the end are gorgeous.

9. I'm not sure which track from Empire Records, After The Earthquake sounds like but it absolutely jangles like it belongs there. There's even a Gin Blossomy guitar riff. But then there's a beautiful extended breakdown before we get back to the sort of rock-y climax.

10. Not My Baby is another montage song. The instrumental intro is catchy as hell, and then the whole Now that I'm not your baby / I can do whatever I want makes for a delicious chew of gum. It's perfectly paced, and its echoey background vocals are used with just the right level of restraint.

11. Closing out the album proper (you'll see what I mean by that soon), is Dreams Tonite is the most Cardigans song on the album. It's so chill and inviting. The lyrics are so basic, you feel like you have the song memorized as soon as it starts. But that's not a complaint. It's nice to end on something familiar, and the way it echoes out at the end? *Chef's kiss*

Here's my confession. I thought Alvvays had only put out two albums. I'd simply never come across their first album. But while I was putting this together, I did some research and, oops. But I gave the album a listen. It's definitely my least favorite of the three, but there are a few tracks I'd be remiss to not include, so I'm including them as a Bonus Disc.

BD1. Adult Diversion is the lo-fi intro that really hinted at the band's trajectory. It buries the echoey vocals under the wall of guitar. It's a song about unrequieted love that breaks no ground and has a very flat melody. But it's still catchy.

BD2. Archie, Marry Me  is more Cranberries than any other tracks on the album. It's better written, lyrically, but Rankin's vocals have that sharp O'Riordan quality that I miss in modern pop. 

and BD3. Actually closing the album out is Red Planet, which sounds like if early Phil Collins wrote video game music. Spare drums. 8-Bit Synth. It ends with effects rather than a fade out.  

Everyone has a band or two that seems like it should fit comfortably on their emotional/mental playlist but that they just can't get into. I have a few: The Who, Elvis Costello, and ABBA being the ones that spring immediately to mind. I don't dislike any of them enough that I'm likely to skip their track if it shows up on a random playlist, but I never feel like I'm looking forward to their music.

I thought, of the three, ABBA was the one I could most likely sift through their discography for an album of music I liked. I was not mistaken.

This is nowhere near a Greatest Hits album. I don't like a lot of their hits. They released twenty-three singles in the 70s and 80s. Six of them appear here, and two of them are heavily edited. I didn't really reach into their B-Side catalogue but I listened to each of their albums a few times, and found some gems that didn't sound as bland as their hits but we're definitely recognizable as ABBA.

I find that much of their material reeks of the filler music from rock musicals. Either spare ballads choking with loneliness in the lyrics but almost blandly sung or wildly overproduced orchestral pop that buries the vocals in the mix. I tried not to include (m)any of those songs on this album. I wanted to reward them for those times that they took musical risks that paid off. A tropical themed lovesong, a funk song about a creepy old rich guy, a hand clappy punk song. 

Of course Dancing Queen is on here, and a few other songs that I imagine everyone who's ever heard of ABBA, and a few who haven't, have heard before. But this is mostly ABBA stretching their wings and playing out of their 1970s AM radio comfort zone.

I was going to include stuff off their reunion album but then I listened to it. There weren't any risks taken.

I'm calling this album The 1980's Theater Tech Kids Backstage Makeout Playlist somewhat ironically. It's what I would call the album filled with all the popular ABBA songs that I didn't include on this reimagined album, and ABBA Spreads Its Wings just sounds like a predictably 1970s ABBA album. 

1. Of course, if there's a track that begins with clockwork, or just the ticking of seconds passing, and the song is good, I'm probably going to use it as an opening track. For this album, that track is Like An Angel Passing Through My Room. It's almost a Bonnie Tyler ballad with the edges sanded off of her vocals. It's almost a 20th Century Disney ballad. It's the kind of track that you'd think would just be one verse, but it does go to a second one without overstaying its welcome. It's incredibly well-produced as a music box song. If you'd told me it was off their reunion album from 2021, I'd believe you, as it has a wistful nostalgia to it.

2. As the clock continues to tick down, we move to another really well-produced track. This one is a very 80's tropical cheesy dance number, though it was recorded in 1974. It seems so soaked in a Hawaiian shirt, that I'd have sworn it came out ten years later. Sitting In The Palm Tree is one of the rare tracks that I'm including with Björn on lead vocals.

3. Lay All Your Love On Me is the first track that, to me, sounds Totally ABBA. Unlike the first two tracks, this one pops up on their Greatest Hits collections. It's overly orchestrated with a disco beat and the weirdly uninteresting and uninterested vocals that I associate the band with. But this one is bright and poppy enough and, again, like many ABBA songs, sounds to me like it came off the Hair Soundtrack. It was clearly influential on Ace Of Base and Madonna. It could have easily been an overly produced remix track from Like On A Prayer.

4. The last track ends on applause, which makes it easy for me to do an edit. Look, the rise to the excellent chorus of Fernando is exquisite. And, it's nice that is isn't just a bland love song. But the song is too long for me, so I spliced out the first verse and chorus so that you only get the best parts of the track. I have no regrets about this. 

5. Nina Pretty Ballerina begins with a train whistle is early early days ABBA. It's silly pop but there is slightly more emotion in the vocals than in later tracks. And it's just a fun song about an office worker who dances her heart out on weekends. I'd put it on-par with a Beatles B-side. The football style audience chants during the song help propel it into my heart.

6. While on the subject of office workers living out fantasies, Anni-Frid gets the bouncy anti-capitalist ditty, Money, Money, Money. This could have definitely come off an Andrew Lloyd Weber musical from before he started wholesale plagiarizing other artists while calling himself a composer.  Allegedly.

7. The Visitors is easily my favorite ABBA album. It's a little darker, it's got tight 80s production, and you can tell the band is going through the kind of turmoil tha turns out albums like Fleetwood Mac's Rumors. This track also has some early Genesis prog rock vibes with a deliberately flat tonality that also has late Beatles vibes but with a hand clappy 80s chorus.

8. Another of ABBA's Greatest Hits wildly edited. I really don't like Mamma Mia. It's breakdown is So Excellent, but everything around it I find forgettable. So you get one verse, one breakdown, one chorus, and a fadeout, which is all you really need from it. 

9. On the flipside you get the full version of another Tropical Loveland song. It's definitely more recognizable as an ABBA song but it's also got that soft rock colonialism We Sailed Our Ship To This Island Once So Its Musical Cultural Is Now Ours feel to it. It's a very bouncy ooooooooooooooooh song.

10. The halfway point of the album happens at the crux of tracks 10 and 11, so you're welcome to think of SOS as the end of Side A. Though it would be a better start to Side B. This is one of their hits, and I understand why. This is another case of a song that's a bit over-orchestrated. It's a little too dense to be fun. But it's still catchy. 

11. And look, I really don't think you can have an ABBA album without Dancing Queen. This was the first track I heard by them, and realized I'd heard it covered several times before I ever heard the original. It could easily be creepy, being a song about how attractive a teenager is. If one of the men sang this, it could be on Ephebophilia Top Forty (don't look that up). Instead, it's a woman seeing a little bit of herself in the beautiful girl on the dance floor. Much more palatable.  This also suffers from overproduction but the piano chops through the noise just enough to be endearing.

12. When All Is Said And Done marches out of the fadeout from the previous track. It's a closing time song with a good hook, and one of those cool 70s songs where the music flashes into a sort of breakdown where there's still a ton of noise around the vocals but it's ... less noise than in the rest of the song. 

13. I love funk. At my last retail job, the owner was also really into funk, so our store played funk all the time, and it was glorious. The bass here is completely 100% funk certified. Man In The Middle is another song that drops the age "seventeen" but isn't creepy, as it's about watching a rich guy who loves to be in the spotlight. 

14. We leave funkytown for Italy and more orchestral grandeur, this time with 80s country style vocals. This Italy is funkytown adjacent, though, as it also has a shiny 70s bassline. One Of Us isn't a folky song about possibly seeing God on a bus, but a lyrically bland song about how love is sad that rhymes lying with crying. 

15. King Kong Song is the crunchiest song on this album. Heavy (for Abba) guitars and the vocals having a punk wall of sound quality in the background while the actual background vocals are pitched into the foreground with a doo-wop style. It's a wild, dumb ride with an almost Queen sort of hand clap percussion. It's got definite Banana Splits vibes.

16. If you've ever been trapped in an elevator on the way to a job interview, you've probably heard something that sounded remarkably like My Mama Said. I know that sounds like a diss, but there's something appealing about this song, whcih also has vocals that are absolutely buried in the mix for no reason. 

17. Why Joan Jett hasn't released a cover of Hey Hey Helen, I'll never know. Maybe she thought it would be redundant? There is a funk breakdown near the end of this song that makes virtually no sense, as it's otherwise as new wave punk rock as ABBA ever gets.

18. Returning to the bright and bouncy technopop from earlier on this album, Head Over Heels is another song where I can't tell you why I like it more than most other ABBA songs. It's mostly the squeaky clean production.

19. A whispery Every Musical In The 80s and 90s vocal drags us into the piano an ooooooh ballad, Kisses Of Fire, that then slams us into pop. It's a perfect transition. Something about this song makes me want to hear Lizzo cover it. It doesn't sound like a Lizzo song at all, and there isn't a flute solo or anything, I just think this song is due for another single release, and I think she'd spin it in a fantastic direction.

20. ABBA has precisely one banger in their arsenal. One perfect song from beginning to end, and it's Take A Chance On Me. Every piece of this musical puzzle fits snugly together from the disco vocals to the occasional doo-wop background vocals to the occasional spoken line, it's just expertly crafted. No other song by the band can possibly follow it, so we let it fade the album out. 

When I started this journey of creating a guide to watching the best of Star Trek, there were over 550 hours of content. Well, a few years later, and we're over the 700 hour mark, as we've added four completely new shows: Strange New Worlds, Picard, Lower Decks, and Prodigy to the list. And there are more series coming (although Picard will end after Season Three).

I've watched some of each of those properties, and am excited that they'll eventually work their way into the chronology, but we're not quite there yet.

This season sees The Dominion War in full effect on Deep Space Nine, while the crew of Voyager plods their way back out of The Delta Quadrant. This is a season that really celebrates 7of9, Doctor, Dax, Sisko, Weyoun, and more. There's more loss in this season than there tends to be in pre-21st century Star Trek and that really gives it a bit more weight than some previous seasons.

Episode 1: Sacrifice Of Angels
(Sisko, Gul Dukat, Odo, Kira, Rom, Ziyal, Weyoun, Quark, Jake, Garak, Worf, Martok)

The Dominion War is truly underway, and it's about to go horribly awry for both sides.


Episode 2: Waltz
(Sisko, Gul Dukat, Odo, Worf, Kira, O'Brien, Dax, Bashir, Weyoun)

This is a defining moment in the series, and I considered making it the end of the previous season but, uhm, there are some events that happen that I don't want to give the sense of importance that the original series of Deep Space Nine did.


Episode 3: In The Flesh
(Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Doctor, Boothby, 7of9, Torres, Paris, Neelix, Kim)

I remember thinking that Barclay was the weirdest legacy character to show up on a Star Trek series where they're lost in an uncharted region of space. But then Riker showed up. And now ... Boothby? The crew of Voyager is back on Earth at, of all places, Starfleet Academy. Nah. Something ain't right here.


Episode 4: Who Mourns For Morn?
(Quark, Sisko, Worf, Odo, Kira, Dax, O'Brien, Bashir)

Quark's most reliable, most silent customer, who's been in almost every episode in our chronology, and yet has never spoken a single line, dies and leaves Quark a fortune. Nah. Something ain't right here, either.


Episode 5: Change Of Heart
(Worf, Dax, Sisko, O'Brien, Bashir, Kira, Quark)

Worf's relationships have traditionally Not Gone Well. His first wife died just after surprising him with the existence of their son. Then he was married to Troi in a parallel timeline. Now he's married to Dax, the parasitical symbiont who can be any species, race or gender. And it's been going really well. But can he prioritize his most recent marriage over his duty to Deep Space Nine?


Episode 6: Inquisition
(Bashir, Sisko, Worf, Odo, O'Brien, Quark, Kira, Weyoun)

Wait...is Bashir a spy for The Dominion? Section 31 (Holy Holy, we haven't seen them since the Discovery story arc. Finally, we see their origin in the Star Trek Universe.) is determined to find out.


Episode 7: Timeless
(Chakotay, Kim, Janeway, 7of9, Doctor, Paris, Tuvok, Torres, Neelix, Laforge?)

Voyager toys with a new technology, hoping it might get them home faster. But Henry Kim fucks it all up and they lose fifteen years marooned on a planet. 


Episode 8:  In The Pale Moonlight
(Sisko, Garak, Bashir, Quark, Weyoun, Odo, Kira, Dax, Worf, O'Brien)

War is a constant shifting of allegiances and ethical dillemas, so nobody should be surprised at how wrong everything goes when Sisko tries to bring the Romulans into the Dominion War.
​

Episode 9: The Sound Of Her Voice
(Sisko, Bashir, O'Brien, Kira, Odo, Quark, Dax, Worf, Yates, Jake, Morn)

In the midst of The Dominion War, The Defiant hears a distress call and sets out to rescue a woman stranded on an alien planet. During the trip she gives advice to several members of the crew about their personal lives. Quark also dispenses love advice to one of DS9's newest couples.


Episode 10: Counterpoint
(Janeway, Chakotay, Torres, Paris, Neelix, Doctor, Tuvok, 7of9, Kim, Naomi)

The crew of Voyager takes on telepathic refugees in a portion of space where telepathy has been deemed illegal, and must figure out a way to protect the refugees from hostile forces.


Episode 11: Latent Image
(Doctor, Janeway, Kim, 7of9, Chakotay, Torres, Neelix, Tuvok, Naomi)

Can a hologram have a psychotic break? Is it morally ethical to erase the memories of someone who isn't precisely sentient in order to help them do their job when it is imperative that they can always do their job to the best of their ability?


12: Tears Of The Prophets
(Sisko, Dax, Dukat, Worf, Kira, Bashir, O'Brien, Quark, Odo, Garak, Nog, Weyoun, Martok, Ross, Jake)

Every war has to have its great casualty. When Dukat returns to the picture to help the Cardassian/Dominion alliance win the war, he sets events in motion that change the whole feel of the show. 


Serial 1: Dark Frontier
(Janeway, 7of9, Chakotay, Torres, Paris, Neelix, Doctor, Tuvok, Borg Queen, Naomi)

Booooooooooooooooooooorg drama, as Voyager's heist goes awry and 7of9 is confronted with her memories of her life when she was human.


15: Someone To Watch Over Me
(7of9, Doctor, Janeway, Chakotay, Torres, Paris, Neelix, Tuvok)

Do I need to say anything more than In This Episode 7of9 Explores The Idea Of Dating With Help From Everyone's Favorite Sort Of Sentient Hologram, Doctor?


16. Shadows And Symbols
(Sisko, Dax, Worf, Bashir, O'Brien, Quark, Martok, Kira, Weyoun, Jake, Ross)

Guess who's Dax? Dax again? Sort of? Lots of changes take place as Kira battles the Romulans, Sisko battles his faith and self-doubt, and the rest of the crew collide head-on with The Dominion.


17. Relativity
(70f9, Janeway, Torres, Chakotay, Paris, Kim, Tuvok, Doctor)

Time travel on Voyager is always pretty wonky. This time, 7of9 is sent into the past to find and deactivate a bomb that would shift the timeline, but a wily past-Janeway figures things out and everything gets all timey-wimey complicated-womplicated.

18. Treachery, Faith, And The Great River
(Weyoun, Odo, Sisko, O'Brien, Nog, Rom, Quark, Martok, Kira, Dax, Worf, Bashir)

Multiple Weyoun episode? Yes, please. While Odo and one of the Weyouns see if they can diffuse the Dominion War, O'Brien, Nog, and Rom try and fix smaller problems on the space station.


Serial 2: Equinox
(Janeway, 7of9, Doctor, Tuvok, Neelix, Torres, Paris, Kim, Chakotay, Naomi)

We end the season on the discovery (no, not The Discovery) that there's another Federation ship lost in the Delta Quadrant trying to get home. But instead of everyone being chummy and helping each other out, the crew of the Equinox decides to dispose of Voyager to speed up their journey.

If we know each other in real life, or if we are friends on social media, you know I am a huge fan of Doctor Who, in general. I'm critical of parts of it, but, for the most part, as long as I don't see  Mark Gatiss's name as the writer of an episode, I go into it with an open mind.

I was incredibly excited for the Thirteenth Doctor. I like Jodie Whitaker as an actor, and I enjoyed the first season of Chris Chibnall's Broadchurch (I haven't seen the other seasons).

I, uh. I don't love it. I love Jodie Whitaker as The Doctor. I love some of the risks they've taken in the interest in writing a more progressive series. I like the idea of the companions. But ... it took me years to be able to finish an honest Twelfth Season comprised only of episodes that I like. Chibnall's take on the characters is Super Clunky. His companions are rarely given enough time to be interesting, and his Doctor never quite  figures out who she is, which didn't work when Moffat/Capaldi tried it for a single season a few years ago, and it didn't work for Chibnall/Whittaker.

But in November 2019, I started rewatching the modern Doctor Who episodes with my partner. And I used this series of blog posts as a guide. It's been great, and helpful. I had made some mistakes in episode selection when I created the original list, and we would watch a Not So Great episode, talk about why it didn't work, and then I'd find an episode that I'd previously left off, and update the list. I stand by the current incarnation of this list. And I'm glad through three full seasons, I was finally able to get ten episodes that I enjoyed watching. Even if it took until the final episode to reach that number.

Episode 1: The Woman Who Fell To Earth
(13,  Ryan, Yasmin, Graham, Grace, Tim Shaw)
64 minutes

The Doctor: "Why are you calling me madam?"
Yasmin Khan: "Because… you’re a woman?"
The Doctor: "Am I? Does it suit me?"
Yasmin Khan: "What?"
The Doctor: "Oh yeah, I remember – sorry, half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman!"
​
It's a whole new Doctor. This one, a goofy steampunk engineer is an absolute delight. She spends most of this episode trying to figure out who she is, and why some tooth-stealing alien is killing humans.


Episode 2: Demons Of The Punjab
(13, Yasmin, Ryan, Graham, Nani Umbreen, Thijarians)
50 minutes

As a favor to Yasmin, The Doctor and crew head to Partition era Pakistan to learn about Nani Umbreen (Yasmin's grandmother)'s past. Of course there are aliens involved. It's Doctor Who. But there are some great misdirects, interesting historical notes, and significantly less whitewashing than most Doctor Who historical episodes. While you may learn a lot, and there are certainly political notes, this feels more like a character driven story with political mesasages than a political statement that they wrapped a plot around. It is my second favorite episode of this season.


Episode 3: KERBLAM!
(13, Ryan,  Graham, Yasmin, Judy, Dan, Kerblam Deliverymen)
49 minutes

It's Amazon Dot Com in the future! Fewer humans. More robots. Less humanity. This was the first episode of Whittaker's reign that felt like a fun, classic Doctor Who scrape. 
 

Episode 4 : Spyfall
(13, Yasmin, Ryan, Graham, The Master,  Daniel Barton, The Kasaavin)
120 minutes

An alien race is killing international spies indiscriminately. The companions realize that they really don't know anything about The Doctor. The Master is back. The fictional version of Google is run by a truly evil fuck (no, not The Master). Plus important female historical figures serve as temporary companions when The Doctor is separated from her more boring, contemporary companions. The new Master is fantastic in this serial.


Episode 5: Nikola Tesla's Night Of Terror
(13, Yasmin, Ryan, Graham, Skithra)

There have been some great comics and stories about the two warring 20th century genius inventors: Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla. Edison is, according to history, justifiably cast as the villain in most of these stories. Here, too. This is just a fun, one-off historical story, which have become rare as the 21st century of the show has matured.


Episode 6: The Fugitives Of The Judoon
(13, #?, Ryan, Graham, Yasmin, Jack Harkness, The Judoon)
50 minutes

Vinay Patel is far and away the best writer from Chibnall's era of Who. Having also written "The Demons Of Punjab", this episode, reintroduces The Judoon, introduces a new Doctor, and brings back a companion we haven't seen since the end of our Season 9. Everything about this episode is perfect. I loved it even before the returning companion. And well before the reveal of the new Doctor, but those other notes helped this episode climb to My Absolute Favorite Chibnall-era Who episode.


Episode 7: War Of The Sontarans
(13,  Yasmin, Dan, Swarm, Azure, Kavanista, Passenger, Vinder, Sontarans)
​
This is technically the second part of a six episode storyarc, but it's not only stronger than the first part, it's much more interesting if you haven't seen the first part. The Doctor and her companions (one of whom is new) have become unstuck in time and are locked out of the TARDIS. And history is unglued, as historical Earth events have been interspersed with familiar Doctor Who aliens. And several mysterious new lifeforms are also trying to fix the timeline.


Episode 8: Village Of The Angels
(13, Yasmin, Dan, Azure, Bel, Passenger, Weeping Angels)

When I started including the 2021 episodes in the continuity, I pulled out five not very good episodes from 2019 that led up to "The Timeless Child". I already wasn't enjoying Chibnall's run, but I thought Chibnall was an Idea Writer who wasn't good at execution.  There are many of them in comics. I can see their intentions and their world-building concepts, and their sense of characters but they lack the ability to translate that into dialogue and plotting. I thought that was Chibnall's flaw. He structured his entire second season of Doctor Who to answer a question posed in "The Brain Of Morbius", which was the first episode of this website's Season Three. It didn't need an answer, but it was an intriguing concept. It was just also a confusing mess. Chibnall writes like a fan of the series who lacks any understanding of what makes the show work. He's not an Idea Writer, he's a Fanfic Writer. I am hoping that when Russel T Davies takes over the show, the pre-credit teaser to the very first episode is an homage to Bobby Ewing's return to Dallas, and we find out it was all a fever dream? Whose? Jo Grant's Doctor. Let Davies give Grant a whole new back story who had a dream she was ... *a spoiler would go here* ...

I hope the series gets to a point where I can erase this episode, too. It's not very good, but it's significantly better than parts 1, 3, 5 and 6 of Flux, which are incoherent nonsense with a dull thud of a finish. There's at least a coherent plot in this episode, even if it is Incredibly Stupid and contains a reveal that falls somewhere between laughable and a solid reason to stop watching the show forever. Yes, this episode includes The Weeping Angels, and no it's not going to make you enjoy their presence.  


Episode 9: Eve Of The Daleks
(13, Yaz,  Dan, Daleks)

This whacky time loop episode with two human guest stars and Daleks is a perfect antithesis to the horrible clusterflux of the previous season. It's silly in an endearing way.


Episode 10: Power Of The Doctor
(Ah, ah, ah, spoilers.)

To say I was worried about the ending of Chibnall's reign as Doctor Who scribe would be a massive understatement. I don't enjoy his dialogue or his inability to take parts of a story and tie them into a conclusion. I don't even expect him to make satisfying conclusions, I just want him to make an ending that doesn't make me want to hurl a laptop across the room.

And he did!

Oh, this is a horrible mess of a story with too much going on, and a lot of things seeming like random fan service. But at least it's fun. There are characters who pop up in this episode who haven't been on the show IN 57 YEARS. No other show can do that. Toss in your Daleks, your Cyberpeople, whacky Master, and the daftest regeneration of a Doctor since David Tennant regenerated into David Tennant, and you at least know that you've definitely watched an episode of Doctor Who, and not some generic knockoff.

And while this wasn't the female-centric episode that I wanted (I posited an entire season of Whittaker's Doctor along with Clara, River Song, CyberBill, Kate Stewart, Ashilde/Me, and Missy inside the Diner TARDIS before Moffat threw a bunch of those characters out the widow), it made some awesome choices, allowing some classic characters to get well-deserved closure. 

It's a better multi-Doctor finale than I imagined or hoped for, even if it was, again, kind of an uneven mess. But for Chibnall's run? This was probably his third best episode after "Fugitive Of The Judoon" and "Eve Of The Daleks". It was 100000000000000000% better than "Flux".

Phil Collins peaked with this, his first solo album. I'm not sad that the albums that follow exist but none of them even attempt to capture the restrained intensity of this album. It definitely sounds related to the late 70s/early 80s Genesis output than his later, more poppy albums. While it definitely still falls into the Soft Rock category, it's not quite the Limp Rock he'd soon embrace. 

1. Tomorrow Never Knows

First a slow snare, then a pounding bass drum rise out of squeaking whistles. Someone is breaking through a wall of progressive rock. When the vocals hit, they don't sound like lilting Genesis. The timbre is there but there is a sharper enunciation. While still definitely something you could hear on soft rock radio, this jagged Beatles cover sets a menacing but upbeat tone for this, in my opinion, best album to come out of any member of Genesis.

2. In The Air Tonite

Peak Genesis. Peak Collins. Peak drum fill. Peak creepy. I've loved this song since I was in elementary school. I sighed and nodded when it was used in NBA commercials. Overplayed? Oh yea. But with reason. It's the most iconic song he was ever a part of.

3. If Leaving Me Is Easy

This is the smokey pop ballad on every late 70s/early 80s album. It's the drippiest track on what is, otherwise, a pretty restrained album. There is, of course, obligatory 80s sad sax on the intro and outro.

4. I Missed Again

Horns! Big checkered suits! Jilted lover! Near-falsetto! Basic Betty chorus! Catchy lyrics! Only cheesily dancable! This is the upbeat song that this album doesn't actually need. It's great, and it has the sound production vibe that is pretty much exclusive to this one Phil Collins album. It's just so much happier than this mostly monotone album. The sax is as neutral as it can be but it's overpowered by the brightest horns in this discography.

5. Thunder & Lightning

Maybe this album isn't as monotone as I remember? The horns get no less dull on this song that sounds somewhere between early 80s Billy Joel and late 70s Genesis. How come this feels so nice? Phil asks. And, yea, why does it? I never remember this song when I'm thinking of the album but it's definitely catchy, inoffensive album rock. It even has a fairly listenable guitar solo between all the horn breaks and hand claps.

6. The Roof Is Leaking

This is the song I tend to think of when I remember this album. Oh, sure, "In The Air Tonite" is unquestionably both the best and most well-known track, but this spare track with it's weirdly country-esque twang just seems to best embody the album. The lyrics are passionate, and Phil definitely puts the right spin on them but he's not straining or completely rocking out. He soft rocks the piano out of this not quite ballad. It also has crickets as an intro and outro, which is Very 80s version of alternative.

7. Droned

This track really feels like a continuation of "The Roof Is Leaking". The floating piano starts to brighten and increase in volume, while the synths remain in the spooky background. This is a sort of instrumental track. There are wordless chant style vocals. And drums, of course. It's a very percussive track.

8. Hand In Hand

The 80s tried to be very tropical for a while. More organic drum sounds, a wider variety of woodwinds, and a spare ... chiminess to the sounds. This is another instrumental track that gives the impression of a spooky atmospheric piece but then the drums and horns kick in proper, and it starts to morph into an 80s TV theme song. A sitcom about a family of grifters. We also get the return of those non-word chanty vocals. 


9. This Must Be Love

The title gives the impression that we're going back to the weepy sax of "If Leaving Me Is Easy", but nah. We're continuing with the tropical beat, pushing the synth back into the forefront, and Phil's vocals have a restrained, whispery quaver. It really doesn't feel like a love song at all. I really appreciate its incongruence.  This isn't a "Wow, I'm so happy, THIS must be love." It's more a "I thought I had indigestion but it turns out this is as close to happy as I can get right now."

10. I'm Not Moving

We kick the falsetto up higher. And the piano and drums return to 80s Billy Joel level, as Phil sings a much more wishy-washy version of Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down". This is as close to New Wave as Collins ever gets. It has vocoded background vocals, which is one of the better uses of vocoded vocals I can think of. 

11. Behind The Lines

This is the only song on the album that I believe sounds more like a B-side. It's definitely from the neighborhood of "I Missed Again". It's not quite as catchy. The brightness seems a bit tarnished, and the lyrics are an instructino manual for introspection. t's weird that this track works as part of any Phil Collins album, but it definitely fits here.

12. You Know What I Mean

The crickets are back! The piano goes from Billy Joel to Meatloaf/Bonnie Raitt territory. Phil's vocals are suddenly 70s singer/songwriter. very broody and more natural than anywhere else on this album. If there was a video for this song, it would take place in the rain. There would be a hole in an umbrella. The camera would be looking down at Phil's upturned face as someone he loved walked away from him. 

13. I Don't Care Anymore

This is technically from Phil's next album, but it Belongs To This One. I love this song with an equal passion as I do for "in The Air Tonite". I love the snarl to the vocals. The strict drums. The teen angst lyrics.  I also love how it threatens to fade out, and then just stops in a nearly acapella fashion. It's a great end to this weird album.

I've been a Muppet fan for as long as I can remember. There are very few shows I can remember watching before my family moved to Cape Cod when I was five. It's basically The Muppet Show, some cartoons, and The Dukes Of Hazard (which I will not be doing a condensed guide for watching). Gonzo, Fozzy, Kermit, Animal, Piggy, and Zoot were my favorites growing up, and I'm not sure how much that's changed.

I'll be hosting a watchthrough on Discord of a Very Condensed history of the muppets. I have taken episodes of The Muppet Show, Muppets Tonight, Muppets, and Muppets Now, and yanked out the mediocre and worse sketches (and the ones that definitely didn't age well), and made new episodes with multiple human guest stars. I've tried to keep the feel of the shows by keeping a backstage storyline throughout most of the episodes, and put the guests in a balance of sort of chronological order/ones with thematic similarities. Yes, these episodes all exist. I gave them silly names, and they're all roughly a half hour with no commercials.

101: Repair The Bear

Fozzy is convinced he's going to be replaced. This is Very Early Muppet Show time. Piggy's voice is very different. Gonzo looks a little more off than usual. Human Guest Stars are Joel Gray and Juliet Prowse. I didn't know either of them when I was a kid, and I don't have much sense of them outside of the show now.
 
Mah Na Mah Na: Mahna Mahna & The Snowths
Repair The Bear: Gonzo, Hilda, Fozzy
Swedish Meatballs: Swedish Chef
Temptation: Kermit, Piggy, Glee Club
Newsflash: Newsman
Scarf: Juliet Prowse & Zoot
Repair The Bear: Gonzo, Kermit, Fozzy
You & I & George: Rowlf
At The Dance: ensemble
Lydia The Tattoed Lady: Kermit The Frog, Lydia, Miss Piggy
Flight Of Bumblebee: Gonzo, Stadler, Waldorf
Zoot’s Solo: Zoot, Mahna Mahna, Nigel
Cabaret: Joel Grey & ensemble
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Kermit
Interview: Kermit & Joel Grey
Stormy Weather: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Kermit, Hilda, Piggy, George
Literalisms: Gonzo, Joel Grey
Repair The Bear: Fozzy, Gonzo, Kermit, Scooter
1812 Overture: Gonzo
Jokes On Any Subject: Fozzy, Stadler, Waldorf

102. The Mechanical Host

The series long gag of The Muppet Show was that The Muppets were renting a theater owned by Scooter's uncle, and they were constantly behind in paying the rent. In this episode the as yet unnamed uncle decides to replace Kermit with a robot frog. Human guest stars are Ruth Buzzi, Jim Neighbors, Rita Moreno, and Florence Henderson. 

Too Good To Be True: Ruth Buzzi, Sweetums
Onions Make Me Cry: Rowlf
Mechanical Host: Kermit, Scooter
At The Dance: Ensemble
Disappearing Clues: Rowlf, Piggy, Ensemble
Mechanical Host: Kermit
Row Row Row: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Running Gag: Fozzy & Kermit
To Morrow: Whatnots
Lady Of Spain: Marvin Suggs & Muppephones
Newsflash: Newsman
Mechanical Host: Kermit & Piggy
Bakery Watchman: Jim Neighbors, Rowlf & Ensemble
Fever: Rita Moreno & Electric Mayhem
Koosbane Courtship: Kermit & Koosbanians
Happy Together: Florence Henderson & lizard muppets

​103. The Language Of Love

Piggy falls in love with a guest star, Gonzo's act gets cancelled, and the chaos of the show finally breaks Rowlf. Human guest stars include Harvey Korman, Lena Horne, Paul Williams, and Charles Aznovour.

RaggMopp:  Mops & George
Coddleston Pie: Rowlf
Circus Monster: Harvey Korman & Thog
I Get A Kick Out Of You: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
I Feel Pretty: Whatnot
No Act For Gonzo: Kermit & Gonzo
Newsflash: Newsman & Lena Horne
Muppet Labs: Honeydew
Silence: Rowlf
Anything Cheaper: Paul Williams & Beautiful Day Monster
Interview: Charles Aznovour
Spaghett: Swedish Chef
Pop Goes The Weasel: Gonzo, Animal & Lena Horne
Says You: Fozzy, Stadler, Waldorf
Finding My Key: Lena Horne, Hilda & Animal
Inchworm: Charles Aznovour

104. The Banana Sketch

Fozzy has hired a big time Vaudeville writer to write his jokes and acts, including the world famous Banana Sketch, which everyone in the world has heard of, except for Kermit. Sandy Duncan is the star of this episode, which also features Peter Ustinov.

Why So Sad?: Sandy Duncan, Sweetums, Behemoth
Nobody: Gonzo & Rowlf
Never Smile At A Crocodile: Mary Louise, frogs, crocodiles
Banana Sketch: Kermit, Fozzy & Gonzo
Falling Leaves: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Round Table Psychiatry: Kermit, Piggy, Cynthia Birdsley, Peter Ustinov
Not Easy Being Green: Kermit, Scooter
Interview: Sandy Duncan, Kermit & Fozzy
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Duck, Kermit
At The Dance: Ensemble
My Own Grandpa: The Gogolala Jubilee Band

105. Gonzo For Piggy

We all seem to willingly accept Piggy's toxic obsession with Kermit The Frog but what happens when the shoe is put on the other hoof, and Piggy has to deal with Gonzo's unwanted affection? Pus, a whole bunch of Electric Mayhem, as they debate quitting because of the square musical direction of the show. Featuring Ethyl Merman and Kaye Ballard but it's mostly just muppets.

Mr Bassman: Scooter & Electric Mayhem
Gonzo For Piggy: Gonzo, Piggy, Fozzie
Tit Willow: Rowlf & Sam The Eagle
Searchin’: Floyd & Ensemble
Floyd Quits: Kermit & Floyd
A Little Samba: Kaye Ballard, Piggy, Electric Mayhem
Gonzo For Piggy:  Piggy & Gonzo
Interview: Kermit, Piggy & Ethyl Merman
Gonzo For Piggy: Gonzo, Piggy & Kermit
Paper Moon: Sam The Eagle, Wayne & Wanda
Vendaface: Waldorf
Floyd Unquits: Floyd & Kermit
At The Dance: Ensemble
Floyd’s New Theme: Kermit & Electric Mayhem

106. Vaudevilluminous

The Muppets reliance on Vaudeville style acts and humor were both the greatest and worst parts of the show, and that's on full display here when Milton Berle acts as the main guest. We also see the beginnings of Gonzo's obsession with chickens as he moves on from Piggy.


Relaxed On The Inside: Whatnot
Uncle Milty: Milton Berle, Kermit, Fozzy, Gonzo
Milton vs Hecklers: Milton Berle, Statler, Waldorf, Gonzo
Pigs In Space:  Hogthrob, Strangepork, Piggy
Uncle Milty: Fozzy, Kermit
Newsflash: Newsman
Tear Down Theater: Piggy, JP Gross, Kermit
The Entertainer: Milton Berle, Rowlf, Fozzy, Scooter, Piggy, Lydia, Ensemble
Tear Down Theater: Gonzo, Kermit
Veterinarians At The Dance: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Ensemble
Muppet Labs: Honeydew & Beaker
Chicken Auditions: Gonzo, Kermit
Top Banana: Milton, Fozzy, Kermit
Chicken Auditions: Gonzo, Rowlf
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Jaice, Fozzy
Dancing Chicken: Gonzo, Lolita, Kermit

107. Immodest Proposal

Gonzo is taking it slow with chickens, and uses this episode to try his luck with Madeline Khan. Meanwhile, Kermit has to deal with a tabloid reporter twisting his words about the Muppets. Also featuring George Burns and Bernadette Peters.

Happy Feet: Kermit
Yodeling Clam: Gonzo, Madeline Khan, Scooter
Lobster Banditos: Swedish Chef
Down At Papa Joe’s: Chickens, Statler, Waldorf
Scandal Sheets: Kermit, Fleet Scribbler, Gonzo
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice
Party All The Time: Electric Mayhem
Old Stories: George Burns, Gonzo
We Have No Bananas: Marvin Suggs, Veggie Choir, Kermit, Floyd, Animal
Proposal: Gonzo, Kermit
Newsflash: Newsman
Up Up & Away: Rowlf
Someone Else But Me: Gonzo, Madeline Khan, Kermit
I Won’t Dance: Kermit, Piggy, Ensemble
Ant & Grashopper: Sam The Eagle
Believe In You: Bernadette Peters, Robin, Kermit, Ensemble
Newsflash: Newsman
Scandal Sheets: Kermit, Scooter, Swedish Chef, Fleet Scribbler
You Made Me Love You: George Burns, Rowlf, Piggy, Gonzo, Ensemble

108. Whatnot Stew

A fairly random assortment of sketches without much of a theme to hold them all together. Lou Rawls, Julie Andrews, Theresa Brewster, Cloris Leachman, and John Cleese join in the chaos.

Sea Shanties: Hogthrob, Fozzy, Robin, Scooter, Gonzo
Walking Animal: Lou Rawls, Animal, Floyd
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Animal Bowling: Kermit, Floyd, Gonzo, Scooter
Interview: Julie Andrews, Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo
Dance With Me: Gonzo, Ensemble
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Interview: Lou Rawls, Kermit, Electric Mayhem
Frog Legs: Swedish Chef, Kermit, Robin, Scooter     
Autographs: Theresa Brewster, Kermit, Animal, Crazy Harry
Popcorn: Swedish Pig
Spinning Wheel: Theresa Brewster, Sweetums, Statler, Waldorf
Just In Time: Cloris Leachman, Sweetums, Doglion
Drunk On TV: Kermit, Koosbanians
Closing Number: John Cleese, Kermit, Sweetums, Ensemble

109. Weirdo Musicians

One of my favorite episodes. Rudolf Nuryev is all sorts of goofy, Cleo Lane blows Electric Mayhem out of the water, and Elton John is an absolute delight.

Classy Intro: Sam The Eagle, Kermit, Scooter, Robin
Swine Lake: Rudolf Nuryev, Giant Pig
Fozzy’s Mom: Fozzy, Kermit
Ain’t Got That Swing: Cleo Lane, Electric Mayhem
Pigs In Space: Hogthrob, Strangepork, Fozzy, Piggy, pigs
Veterinarians Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, pig
Fozzy’s Mom: Fozzy, Kermit
Weirdo Musicians: Sam The Eagle, Kermit, Swedish Chef, Camilla, Scooter
Crocodile Rock: Elton John, Ensemble, Swedish Chef, Scooter
Phrenology: Fozzy, Kermit
Benny & The Jets: Elton John, Scooter, Kermit, Ensemble
Pigs In Space: Hogthrob, Strangepork, Piggy, Swedish Chef, Camilla

110. Stuck On You

Another of my all time favorite episodes. Gilda Radner and Jean Stapleton both go all in on this episode. Plus Pearl Bailey sings with Electric Mayhem.

Daffodils: Piggy, Rowlf
Carrots Of Penzance: Gilda Radner, Kermit, Carrot, Fozzy
Multiplication Tables: Gonzo, Kermit, Gladys, Camilla
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Good Ol Summertime: Pearl Bailey & Floyd
Interview: Sam The Eagle, Jean Stapleton, Swedish Chef
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Gilda Radner, Beaker
Melodrama: Deathly, Piggy, Wayne
Wild About Harry: Jean Stapleton, Crazy Harry
Tap Your Troubles Away: Gilda Radner, Electric Mayhem, Beaker

111. Railroaded

The Muppet Theater is closed for repairs, so the cast films the episode at a not actually abandoned railyard. Chaos, naturally, ensues. Loretta Lynn is actually at the railroad, while we do get some recorded studio time with Harry Belafonte and Raquel Welch.

Platform 2: Loretta Lynn, Scooter
All Alone: Piggy, Ensemble
Newsflash: Newsman, pig
Fozzy At The Dance: Fozzy, Kermit, Floyd, Ensemble
Backstage: Kermit, Gonzo, Camilla
Banana Boat Song: Harry Belaftone, Fozzy, Ensemble
Track 2: Kermit, Gonzo, Scooter, Fozzy
Chicken In Basket: Swedish Chef, Camilla
Sentimental Journey: Gonzo, Kermit
W-o-m-a-n: Raquel Welch, Piggy
Better Seating: Statler, Waldorf
Oncoming Train: Gonzo, Kermit
Drum Battle: Harry Belafonte, Animal
Rhyming Song: Fozzy, Scooter, Hogthrob, Peggyanne
Muppet Sports: Louis Kazagger 

112. Smorgasbored

Statler and Waldorf are "missing" (they're actually behind the theater, avoiding a guest star) and the main behind the scenes drama is that some of the skits are going poorly and the guest stars are trying to figure out a way to make them better. Featuring Danny Kaye, Leslie Uggams, James Coco, and Cheryl Ladd.

Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork
Missing Hecklers: Kermit, Floyd, Danny Kaye, Statler, Waldorf, Scooter
Eight Little Notes: Rowlf
Crossover: Piggy, Big Bird
Here We Go Again: Leslie Uggams, Lew Zealand
Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork
Razzle Dazzle: James Coco, Kermit, Swedish Chef
Banana Split: Swedish Chef, dancers
Catch A Falling Star: Wayne, Scooter, James Coco, dancers
Flying Zucchini Bros: Kermit, Beauregard
Tea For Two: Rowlf, Lew Zealand
Pigs In Space: Piggy, Hogthrob, Strangepork, Swedish Chef, Janice, Kermit
Blue Skies: prairie dogs
New Sound: Scooter
I Enjoy Being A Girl: Cheryl Ladd, Piggy, Kermit
Backlot: Danny Kaye, Statler, Waldorf, Scooter

​113. Scary Good Halloween Special

The first of two Halloween specials, this is mainly The Vincent Price Show with Candice Begern, Ben Vereen, and Phyllis Diller also playing with a mostly monster muppet cast.

Put Another Log On The Fire: Candice Bergen, Ensemble
Letter For You:  Fozzy, Kermit & Scooter
Bewitched: Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda
Culture & Cuisine: Vincent Price, Kermit, Pierre Lescous, Gorgon Heath
At The Dance: Ensemble
Tenderly: Electric Mayhem
Pepper Sauce: Swedish Chef
Mr Cellophane: Ben Vereen
Interview: Vincent Price & Kermit
Some Enchanted Evening:  Sam The Eagle, Wayne, Wanda, Gorgon Heath
You Are My Sunshine: Whatnots
At The Dance: Ensemble
Furniphobia: Newsman
Note For You: Kermit, Fozzy
Veterinarian’s Hospital: Rowlf, Piggy, Janice, Bohemoth, Kermit
Pocket Camera: Phyllis Diller & Gonzo
You’ve Got A Friend: Vincent Price & Deadly
It's Not Where You Start, It's Where You Finish: Rowlf & Scooter

114. A Very Muppets Nightmare

Alice Cooper keeps the scary vibes and monster muppets going, and even allows Marisa Barington and Liberace to participate in the season finale.

Welcome To Nightmare: Alice Cooper, monster muppets, Kermit
Canteen Scene: Gonzo, Gladys, Animal, Kermit, Floyd
Muppet Labs: Honeydew, Beaker
Faustian Deal: Kermit, Gonzo, Scooter
Muppet Sports: Louis Kazagger
Veterinarians Hospital: Swedish Chef, Rowlf, Janice, Piggy
Chopsticks: Liberace
Once A Year Day: monster muppets
Our House: Marisa Barington
Jamboree: Gonzo, Ensemble
Another Thing: teeth
Weirdo Musicians: Sam The Eagle, Alice Cooper
School’s Out: Alice Cooper

Human Guest Stars Who Didn't Make The Cut: Connie Stevens, Bruce Forsythe, Avery Schriver, Valerie Harper, Twiggy, Mummenschanz, Don Knotts, Zero Mostel, Rich Little, Judy Collins, Nancy Walker, Edgar Bergen, Steve Martin, Dom Deluise.

Don't feel bad for those last three, they all show up in  The Muppet Movie​. 

Beginning with this season, we start to see mini-series pop up, in addition to stand alone episodes. This isn't necessarily because of a Golden Age Of Long Form Storytelling, but more that the current companies in wrestling started taking risks, some paid off (see next season's mini-series "The Summer Of Punk") and some were botches (see this season's "Invasion").

The Invasion Angle should have been gold. The WWE buys their competition and then integrates the two rosters for The Best Wrestling Era Ever. Instead, they trotted out mainly undercard WCW performers and completely squashed the two megastars they acquired, Booker T and DDP. And then once they wrung all the blood out of the invasion angle, THEN they brought Ric Flair into the picture. And then they brought in the NWO, and then they brought in Eric Bischoff. But it was mostly to punish them for Not Being WWE Lifers. It was disappointing.

But while that's going on, a plucky little low budget wrestling company called Ring Of Honor introduces the world to a new style of wrestling, and some future WWE Hall Of Famers. And Jeff Jarrett refuses to let wrasslin die, and creates a sort of updated WCW called TNA where he integrates up and coming stars (including quite a few Ring Of Honor wrestlers) and the superstars cast away from the WWE. These competing companies slowly start to move WWE back into more creative storylines and pushing new talents as the Attitude era fizzles out, and we see the beginnings of Ruthless Aggression, which gets name dropped several times beginning in the middle of this season.

602. Alliance, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel

Part two is a mostly multiple member tag team affair as the WCW/ECW Alliance attempts to overrun the WWE roster. Unfortunately, rather than trusting the WCW and ECW stars to this task, McMahon bolstered their ranks with WWE main eventers, thus shattering any ilusion of an actual invasion. At least we get to see RvD get the spotlight.

1. WWE/WCW vs ECW
​Farooq, Bradshaw, Hardcore Holly, Big Show, Test, Shawn O'Haire, Chuck Palombo, Mark Jindrak, Shawn Staziak, Kris Kanyon vs Taz, RvD, Rhyno, Justin Credible, The Dudley Boyz, Tommy Dreamer, Raven

2. Matt Hardy (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs RvD
3. Tajiri (WWE Light Heavyweight Champ) vs X-Pac (WCW Cruserweight Champ)
​4. Lance Storm (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Edge
5. Matt Hardy (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs RVD

6. Team WWF vs Team Alliance
Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Undertaker, Kane, Chris Jericho vs D-Von Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno

603. Reprisal, 2001

At the beginning of the season, there were a bunch of fun little vignettes about Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kurt Angle vying for the friendship of Vince McMahon. They were silly and entertaining but were clearly the setup to a major feud. Well, here it is. This is vignette heavy, as we see a lot of McMahon shenanigans, but the Austin/Angle feud is totally worth it.

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel

1. Steve Austin (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Kurt Angle
2. Booker T (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs The Rock
3. Steve Austin (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Kurt Angle

604. Division, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Mchael Cole, Taz, Jonathan Coachman, Lilian Garcia, Howard Finkel

Much of the Invasion storyline hinges on the McMahons and their various betrayals of wrestlers and one another. Here we see some of the highlight matches of the constantly shifting sides before we get to the unification of belts in the next episode.

1. RvD (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs Chris Jericho
2. The Rock & Chris Jericho vs Raven & Justin Credible
3. Booker T vs Undertaker
4. The Rock (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs Chris Jericho
5. Steve Austin (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Kurt Angle & RvD

​605. Unification, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel

After a Survivor Series match to end the conflict between The Alliance and the WWE, a tournament is held to unify the WWE and WCW heavyweight titles (the lower tier titles were previously unified), and the winner was actually a surprise.

1. Team WWF (The Rock, Chris Jericho, Undertaker, Kane, Big Show) vs Team Alliance (Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, RvD, Booker T, Shane McMahon)

2. Steve Austin (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Kurt Angle
3. Chris Jericho (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs The Rock
4. Steve Austin (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Chris Jericho (WCW Heavyweight Champ)

607. A Flair For The Dramatic

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Mchael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel

The two owners of the WWE just can't seem to get along. And since they own a wrestling company, and one is a 14 time world champion, what better way to settle their differences than in a street fight. The 2002 Royal Rumble is also a creative high for the event with some stellar eliminations, and some solid returns from former Right To Censor members re-embracing their previous gimmicks. Oh, and the absolute delight of Steve Austin interrupting Booker T's grocery shopping to whoop his ass.

1. Steve Austin vs Booker T in the Supermarket Brawl​
2. Vince McMahon vs Ric Flair in a Street Fight
3. Chris Jericho (WWE Undisputed Champ) vs The Rock
4. The Royal Rumble
Rikishi, Goldust, Big Boss Man, JBL, Lance Storm, Al Snow, Billy Gunn, Undertaker, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Maven, Scotty 2 Hotty, Christian, DDP, Chuck Palumbo, Godfather, Albert, Perry Saturn, Steve Austin, Val Venis, Test, Triple H, The Hurricane, Farooq, Mr Perfect, Kurt Angle, The Big Show, Kane, RVD, Booker T​

608. Oh NWO NWOt Again!, 2002

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Taz, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel

When last we left WWE, Vince McMahon got his ass beaten by his new business partner, Ric Flair. Given that McMahon's WWE just ended the official WCW invasion, he gets desperate to beat this new WCW threat, so he calls in the guys who destroyed WCW from the inside, the NWO.

1. Triple H vs Kurt Angle for #1 Contender at Wrestlemania
2. Chris Jericho (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin
3. Billy & Chuck (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz vs APA
4. The Rock & Steve Austin vs The NWO
5. The Rock vs Hulk Hogan​

609. Totally New Attitude, 2002

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrarra, Jeremy Borash

In 2002, Jeff Jarret and friends created a Pay-Per-View only company called TNA that has since transformed into Impact, and is still around to this day. I will always refer to their titles as Impact titles because the stupid gag about it being T&A annoys me. They initially shared talent with Ring Of Honor, creating WWE's first real competition since the demise of WCW.

1. The Flying Elvises vs AJ Styles, Jerry Lyn, and Low Ki
2. Gauntlet For The Gold Match for the vacant Impact title
Jeff Jarret, Buff Bagwell, Lash Leroux, Norman Smiley, Apollo, R-Truth, Slash, Del Rios, Abyss, Konan, Lenny Lane, Scott Steiner, Malice, Scott Hall, Chris Harris, Gangrel, Devon Storm, Steve Carrino, Ken Shamrock, Brian Christopher

4. Four Way Elimination Match for the first ever X Champion
AJ Styles, Psicosis,  Jerry Lin, Low Ki

5. Ken Shamrock (Impact Champ) vs Malice
6. AJ Styles (X Champ) vs David Young

610. Return Of The Undercard, 2002

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Taz, Howard Finkel 

As the Attitude Era approaches its end, we start to see the future of the WWE creep in. In this episode, Paul Heyman brings in Brock Lesnar who's impressive but not The Beast he will one day become. We also see the more recent main eventers, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, and Triple H being the focus instead of The Rock, The Undertaker, and Stone Cold (and Hulk Hogan again, somehow). Those three will keep popping up for a bit, but they're no longer The Entire F'n Show.

1. Al Snow (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs Maven vs Spike Dudley
2. Billy Kidman (WWE Cruiserweight Champ) vs Tajiri
3. Jazz (WWE Woman's Champ) vs Trish Stratus
4.  Brock Lesnar vs Matt Hardy
5. Kurt Angle vs Edge
6. RvD (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Eddie Guerrero
7. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman vs The Hardy Boyz
8. Kurt Angle vs Edge in a Hair Vs Hair Match 
9. Chris Jericho vs Triple H in a Hell In A Cell Match

​611. Get The F Out, 2002

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Taz, Howard Finkel

WWF finally becomes WWE in this episode. We get more of the Bookdust sketches that started in the previous episode, and we get to see the difference in quality between a 2002 Hogan/Undertaker match and a 2002 Chris Jericho vs RvD match. Plus, Kurt Angle begins his infamous Open Challenges and his first opponent is a debuting John Cena!

1. Billy & Chuck (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Rico & Rikishi
2. Hulk Hogan (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs The Undertaker
3. Chris Jericho vs RvD
4. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs RvD in a Ladder Match
5. Kurt Angle vs John Cena
6. The Undertaker (WWE Champ) vs Kurt Angle vs The Rock​

612. Declaration Of Independents, 2002

Announcers: Eric Gargiulo, Donnie B, Jeff Gorman, Ray Murrow, Mike Nulty, Gary Michael Cappetta, Stephen DeAngelis

The grungiest company on the block gets some help from some TNA wrestlers, as Ring Of Honor does as much as possible to dazzle the dozens and dozens of fans who pack the high school gyms and auditoriums where they take place. The result is somehow some of the best wrestling of the early 2000s.
 
1. Low Ki vs AJ Styles
2. Doug Williams vs Daniel Bryan
3. Low Ki vs Amazing Red
4. Paul London vs Brian Kendrick
5. Iron Man Match for the ROH Title
Christopher Daniels, Doug Williams, Low Ki, Brian Kendrick

613. The Next Big Thing, 2002

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

We open with yet another debut as Rey Mysterio shows up to take down Chavo Guerrero. Brock Lesnar begins his era of dominance, and a familiar WCW face joins the company as Raw's General Manager.

1. Chavo Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
2. Vince McMahon vs Ric Flair for full ownership of the WWE
3. RvD (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Brock Lesnar
4. Brock Lesnar vs Hulk Hogan
​5. Shawn Michaels vs Triple H in an Unsanctioned Street Fight
6. The Rock (WWE Heavyweight Champ) vs Brock Lesnar

614. Totally Nonstop AJ Styles

Announcers: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara, Mortimer Plumtree

Of course there were other acts in early days of TNA. R Truth was making his name as Ron Killings, Scott Hall, Curt Hennig (formerly Mr. Perfect), Brian Lawler (formerly Brian Christopher), and Jeff Jarrett were running around. America's Most Wanted were the tag team champs working to become one of the all time great teams. But during the first six months of TNA, the big story was AJ Styles putting out incredible match after incredible match. Here are several of his best matches (plus the R-Truth Ken Shamrock Heavyweight Title Match) from TNA's early days. The last three seconds of this episode make me Very Angry.

1. AJ Styles (Impact X Champ) vs Low Ki
2. Ken Shamrock (Impact Champ) vs R-Truth
3. Low Ki (Impact X Champ) vs AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn
4. Low Ki (Impact X Champ) vs AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn in a Ladder Match
5. X-Pac (Impact X Champ) vs AJ Styles
6. AJ Styles (Impact X Champ) vs Amazing Red
7. R-Truth (Impact Champ) vs Jeff Jarrett

6​15. Rise Of The Smackdown Six, 2002

Annoucers: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jon Coachman, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

Now that The Invasion is way in the rearview, Paul Heyman goes behind the scenes to build a floundering Smackdown roster into a powerhouse show by ignoring the glitzy superstars, and getting the scrappiest technical wrestlers. Thus, the Smackdown Six: Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Edge.

1. Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio
2. Unamericans (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Bookdust
3. Chris Benoit (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs RvD
4. Unamericans, William Regal, and Test vs Bookdust, Kane, and Bubba Ray Dudley
5. Edge vs Eddie Guerrero
​6. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs RvD
7. Molly Holly (WWE Woman's Champ) vs Trish Stratus
8. Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle

616. 2002 Glory By Honor

Announcers: Eric Gargiulo, Donnie B, Jeff Gorman, Ray Murrow, Mike Nulty, Gary Michael Cappetta, Stephen DeAngelis

Even by 80s WWE standards, the vignettes of Ring Of Honor are pretty terrible, but the matches show the future of 21st century wrestling. While AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan (as The American Dragon) continue to be indie highlight reels, this episode sees the debut of Samoa Joe and The Briscoes.
​
1. Low Ki (ROH Champ) vs AJ Styles
2. Jay Briscoe vs Mark Briscoe
3. Michael Shane vs Paul London in a Street Fight
4. Ikuto Hidaka vs Amazing Red
5. Low Ki vs Samoa Joe
6. Daniel Bryan vs AJ Styles

617.  Tag Team Turmoil, 2002

Announcers: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

The focus on The Smackdown Six created a new tag team division, as Raw hosted the World Tag Team Champs, and Smackdown had the WWE Tag Team Champs. The Smackdown roster was much more fun, as they kept shifting the six main stars around into more and more interesting configurations as they put on some of the best tag matches since the Rockers/Hart Foundation/LoD/Demolition era.
​
1. Jamie Noble (WWE Cruiserweight Champ) vs Tajiri
2. Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle vs Edge & Rey Mysterio for Smackdown Tag Team Championship
3. Brock Lesnar (WWE Champ) vs The Undertaker in Hell In  Cell
4. Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle (Smackdown Tag Champs) vs Los Guerreros
5. Edge & Rey Mysterio (Smackdown Tag Champs) vs Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle vs Los Guerreros

618. Unscripted

Announcers: Eric Gargiulo, Donnie B, Jeff Gorman, Ray Murrow, Mike Nulty, Gary Michael Cappetta, Stephen DeAngelis

The whole premise that The Prophecy was out to destroy The Code Of Honor is very silly by any standards, but the wrestling here, including the debuts of CM Punk and Colt Cabana are industry-shattering.

1. Daniel Bryan vs Doug Williams
2. Daniel Bryan vs Paul London
3. CM Punk vs Colt Cabana
4. Daniel Bryan vs Low Ki vs Samoa Joe vs Steve Corrino

19. Crumbling Attitude, 2003

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

Only three matches on this episode but two of them are spectacular, and one is the annual Rumble. Not the best ever rumble, but a pretty solid one. The real stories, though, are the debut of WWE's Elimination Chamber, and the absolute masterpiece of Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit.

1. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho vs Kane vs Booker T vs RvD in an Elimation Chamber Match

2.Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs Chris Benoit
3. Royal Rumble Match

Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Christopher Nowinski, Rey Mysterio, Edge, Christian, Chavo Guerrero, Tajiri, Bill DeMott, Tommy Dreamer, Bull Buchanan, RvD, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Jeff Hardy, Rosey, Test, John Cena, Charlie Haas, Rikishi, Jamal, Kane, Shelton Benjamin, Booker T, Prince Albert, Maven, Goldust , Batista, Brock Lesnar, The Undertaker

620. The Quiet End, 2003

​Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Tony Chimel

Say goodbye to the Attitude Era. Sure, many consider Stone Cold's heel-turn before The Invasion to be the end, but Stone Cold's last match ... umm, for twenty years, anyway ... is a true lights out for the beer drinking, eyebrow raising, crotch chopping sports entertainment that dominated the late 90s and early 2000s. The newer wrestlers from this season (including Randy Orton, who debuts here) fully take over for next season's Ruthless Aggression.

1. Hardcore Holly vs Randy Orton
2. Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff
3. Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
4. Hulk Hogan vs Vince McMahon in a Street Fight
5. The Rock vs Steve Austin

The WWE is at its best when it has heavy competition. Usually. They have a ton of competition right now from AEW, Impact!, and a revamped Ring Of Honor, and it's mediocre at best. But in the 90s and early 2000s it thrived when WCW was at its creative peak. 

Unfortunately, after The Fall Of Goldberg and The Fingerpoke Of Doom, WCW decayed into Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff's House Of Egomania. It was unwatchable. There seemed to be a new champ every week. People would be stripped of titles rather than lose them. Vince Russo as WCW Champ wasn't as clever or fun as Vince McMahon as WWE Champ. David Arquette shouldn't have even been in a ring, nevermind a champion. And why were Dennis Rodman and Jay Leno headlining their pay-per-views. So ... I'm not including any of that garbage. WCW gets one episode, and then shows up for one more match near the end of this season, and then it becomes property of the WWE.

We'll get to Ring Of Honor and TNA next season, but this season is almost exclusively WWE. And it's ... ok. There are some great matches, but I've also skipped entire pay-per-views, and heavily edited storylines, particularly when they involve women or the wrestlers of the 1970s. Neither of those groups were treated well by the writers, and if you were, say, Mae Young or The Fabulous Moolah, forget it. This season sees the slow fade out of The Attitude Era stars, and the influx of the former WCW undercard as they become WWE headliners: Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Dan Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero being the original standouts.

501: McMassacre, 1999

Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

The Attitude Era is still in full effect as the evil Mr. McMahon enters the Royal Rumble at #2 and puts a bounty on the head of Steve Austin to keep him from winning a shot at the WWE title again. And it's a good thing because this is a stinker of a Royal Rumble card. We do get a couple of solid secondary title matches, and then McMahon and Austin battle in a Steel Cage!

1. Royal Rumble Match
Steve Austin, Mr McMahon, Golga, Droz, Edge, Gillberg, Steve Blackman, Dan Severn, Tiger Ali Singh, The Blue Meanie, Mabel, Roag Dogg, Gangrel, Kurrgan, Al Snow, Goldust, The Godfather, Kane, Ken Shamrock, Billy Gunn, Test, Big Boss Man, Triple H, Val Venis, X-Pac, Mark Henry, Jeff Jarrett, D'Lo Brown, Owen Hart, Chyna

2. Bob Holly vs Al Snow for The Hardcore Title
3. Ken Shamrock (Intercontinental Champ) vs Val Venis
4. Steve Austin vs Vince McMahon In A Steel Cage

​502. Over The Edge, 1999

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Shane McMahon, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

Lots of gimmicry here as Mick Foley gets back in the title picture, and the Hardcore title gets briefly interesting. There's a downer of an ending, though, as a massive tragedy strikes in the middle of a pay-per-view, resulting in the only Death During An Event that I remember.

1. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Mankind) in an Empty Arena Match
2. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin
3. Owen Hart (as Blue Blazer) vs Taka Michinoku
4. Ministry Of Darkness vs The Brood
5. Hardcore Holly (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs Al Snow
6. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs The Big Show in a Boiler Room Brawl
​7. The Death Of Owen Hart

503. Hardcore Attitude, 1999

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Howard Finkel

The Higher Power/Corporate Ministry Angle was a really intriguing angle with a super shitty reveal, so we'll just squish all the highlights together, and get to the lowlight. We follow it up with the beginning of the ascencion of Edge & Christian (aka The Brood) and The Hardy Boys, who will keep this season sizzling. Plus more Mcmadness, and another Hardcore Title Match.

1. The Higher Power/CEO Saga
2. The Brood vs The Hardy Boyz
3. Billy Gunn vs X-Pac for King Of The Ring
4. Steve Austin vs Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon for control of the WWE
5. Al Snow (WWE Hardcore Champ) vs The Big Boss Man​

504. Fully Loaded, 1999
​
Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Triple H, Howard Finkel

Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman's time in WWE was too short, and they rarely got interesting stories, but their pair of MMA matches here are such a delightful clash with the tag team silliness and the three person title matches. We also have our first solid woman's title match in a while. Slowly but surely, those matches will become more important and more focused on wrestling than on partial nudity.

1. Edge (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Jeff Jarret
2. The Rock vs Billy Gunn & Chyna
3. The Acolytes (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs The Hardy Boys
4. Ken Shamrock vs Steve Blackman in an Iron Circle Match
5. Ivory (WWE Woman's Champ) vs Tori
6. Ken Shamrock vs Steve Blackman in a Lion's Den Match
7. Kane & X-Pac (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs The Unholy Alliance
8. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs Triple H vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)

505. Rebellion, 1999

Announcers: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Michael Hayes, The Rock, Howard Finkel

This is just a solid wrestling card setting up and/or paying off storylines, and foreshadowing Triple H's future Reign Of Terrors.

1. Mick Foley (as Mankind) WWE Champ vs Triple H
2. Mark Henry (WWE European Champ) vs D'Lo Brown
3. Jeff Jarrett (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chyna
4. The Acolytes vs The Dudley Boys
5. Chris Jericho vs Road Dogg
6. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs The Rock in a Steel Cage

506. Smackdown, 1999

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Michael Hayes, Howard Finkel

I know a Good Housekeeping Match sounds sexist but it's actually the blowoff to a sexist storyline with a great payoff. And I don't mean the payoff Vince McMahon had to give Jeff Jarrett so that he'd relinquish the title before he jumped ship to the sinking dinghy that was WCW. Also, a tag team ladder match that will inspire a future style of pay-per-view.


1. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs The British Bulldog
2. Jeff Jarrett (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chyna in a Good Housekeeping Match
3. The Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian in a Ladder Match
4. Val Venis vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
5. Chyna (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho

507. Armageddon 1999, 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Paul Heyman, Michael Cole, John Coachman, Kevin Kelley, Lilian Garcia, Howard Finkel

More solid matches here, including the debut of Kurt Angle, who will slowly rise up the card this season before completely dominating the WWE. 

1. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs The Rock vs The Big Show
2. The New Age Outlaws (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Too Cool
3. Ken Shamrock (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Val Venis
4. Kurt Angle vs Shawn Stasiak
5. X-Pac vs Kane in a Steel Cage
6. Chyna (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho
7. Triple H vs Mr McMahon in a No Holds Barred Match

508. Royal Street Fight Bang Bang 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Lillian Garcia, Howard Finkel

We start this card with the undefeated Kurt Angle going head-to-head with the debuting Taz from ECW, and it only gets better from there...until the rumble. The thirty man match was definitely backloaded, and lacked the throughline of an evil McMahon or a determined Steve Austin. It was still fun.

1. Kurt Angle vs Taz
2. Hardy Boys vs Dudley Boys in a Tables Match
3. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack)
4. Royal Rumble

D'Lo Brown, Grand Master Sexay, Mosh, Christian, Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Steve Blackman, Mabel (as Viscera), Big Boss Man, Test, The British Bulldog, Gangrel, Edge, Bob Backlund, Chris Jericho, Crash Holly, Chyna, Faarooq, Road Dogg, Al Snow, Val Venis, Prince Albert, Hardcore Holly, The Rock, Billy Gunn, Big Show, Bradshaw, Kane, The Godfather, X-Pac

509. Radical Invasion 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

The WCW got Jeff Jarret a few episodes ago, and in return, the WWE get Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. I'd say they got the best part of the exchange. It's a shame this wasn't a part of the actual Invasion that will hit next season, but it is a glorious prelude, as Guerrero and Benoit will be the faces of WWE for a bit before they become a tragic fable. Also, the Triangle Ladder Match brings us one step closer to the birth of TLC.

1. The New Age Outlaws (WCW Tag Team Champs) vs Steve Blackman & Al Snow
2. Chris Jericho (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chyna (Intercontinental Champ) vs Hardcore Holly

3. Chris Jericho (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Kurt Angle
4. Too Cool, Rikishi & The Radicalz
5. Triple H (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) in a Title vs Career Match in Hell In A Cell

6.  The Dudley Boys (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Hardy Boys vs Christian & Edge in a Triangle Ladder Match

510. Radical Backlash 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Lillia Garcia

Every match (except the woman's title match and an unusual DX tag team match) features a member of the Radicalz! Look at all that gold!

1. Ivory (WWE Womans Champ) vs Stephanie McMahon Helmsley
2. Too Cool & Chyna vs The Radicalz
3. Road Dogg & X-Pac vs Rikishi & Kane
4. Kurt Angle (WWE European Champ) vs Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho
5. Kurt Angle (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho
6. Chris Jericho (WWE European Champ) vs Eddie Guererro
7. Dean Malenko (WWE Light Heavyweight Champ) vs Scotty Too Hotty
8. Eddie Guerrero (WWE European Champ) vs Essa Rios
9. Chris Benoit (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho

511. Judgment Day, 2000

​Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Lillian Garcia, Howard Finkel

Even more Radicalz! Plus, the weirdest combination of combatants in a Hell In A Cell Match includes on of its biggest spots, and then The Rock and Triple H go all Shawn Michaels vs Bret Hart.

1. Eddie Guererro (WWE European Champ) vs Dean Malenko (WWE Light Heavyweight Champ) vs Perry Saturn

2. Chris Benoit (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho in a Submission Match
3. Val Venis (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Rikishi in Hell In A Cell
4. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Triple H in an Iron Man Match

​512. Last Man Standing, 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Lillian Garcia, Howard Finkel

The main roster superstars are all here for this one, but we also see the birth of Right To Censor, the weirdest stable in WWE history with, easily, the worst theme song.


1. Triple H vs Chris Jericho in a Last Man Standing Match
2. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Chris Benoit
3. The Godfather vs Bull Buchanan
4. Edge & Christian (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Hardy Boys vs Dudley Boyz in a TLC Match
5. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Triple H vs Kurt Angle

513. TV-14, 2000

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

WWE (technically still the WWF for a while) has been TV-14 for at least three years at this point, but now we get the storyline where a group of wrestlers called Right To Censor start to fight against the Attitude Era shenanigans in favor of Family Values. They are of course, a bunch of dirty cheaters made up of reformed Attitude Era stars like The Godfather (now The Goodfather) and Val Venis.

1. The Godfather vs Bull Buchanan
2. Edge & Christian (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Hardy Boys in a Steel Cage
3. The Acolytes vs Right To Censor
4. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Kane vs Chris Benoit vs Undertaker
5. Triple H vs Kurt Angle in a No DQ Match
6. The Rock (WWE Champ), Chyna & Billy Gunn vs Right To Censor
7. Triple H vs Chris Benoit
8. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Kurt Angle

14. No Mercy, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

The return of Steve Austin after the Very Stupid Hit And Run angle spices things up as Rikishi goes from lovable dance icon to detestable accomplice to attempted homicide, with a brief stop in the middle as Totally Reasonable Guy Upset At How WWE Treats Wrestlers Who Aren't White. I really wish they'd done more with that angle because it was way more interesting than Rikishi as Triple H's stooge.

1. William Regal (WWE European Champ) vs Hardcore Holly
2. The Rock vs Rikishi
3. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs The Undertaker
4. Ivory (WWE Womans Champ) vs Molly Holly vs Trish Stratus
5. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin vs The Rock vs Triple H vs Undertaker vs Rikishi in Hell In A Cell

515. Mayhem

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Pamela Paulshock, Gene Okerlund

The end of this season is going to see WWE buy out WCW and start a promising but ultimately disappointing war between the two brands. I have avoided putting in any other WCW episodes from 2000 & 2001 because they're mostly awful garbage. I mean, impressively bad but not entertainingly bad. But here are the rare highlights, so you don't forget about how good certain wrestlers from the company were.

1. Jeff Jarrett vs DDP for the WCW Championship
2. Scott Steiner vs Goldberg in a No DQ Match
3. Natural Born Thrillers (WCW Tag Team Champs) vs Filthy Animals vs Boogie Knights
4. 3 Count vs Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs Jung Dragons
5. Perfect Event (WCW Tag Team Champs) vs The Insiders
6. Chavo Guerrero vs Hurricane
7. Jung Dragons vs Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias
8. Scott Steiner (WCW Champ) vs DDP

516. Current Affairs, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Taz

While only one of them is a full match as opposed to a brief squash to set up a storyline, it's nice to see two women's matches on one card. Also, Chris vs Chris is a good time whether it's in the ECW, WCW, or WWE. The Rumble is one of the best, not for the finish, which is fine, but for the weird beginning and the complete domination by one of its combatants who should have, but did not, win. Oh, and the icky Trish Stratus/Vince McMahon nonsense starts to ramp up here.​

1. Chris Benoit (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Chris Jericho in a Ladder Match
2. Ivory (WWE Womans Champ) vs Chyna
3. The Royal Rumble

Jeff Hardy, Bull Buchanan, Matt Hardy, Faarooq, Drew Carey, Kane, Raven, Al Snow, Perry Saturn, Steve Blackman, Brian Christopher, The Honky Tonk Man, The Rock, The Godfather, Tazz, JBL, Albert, Hardcore Holly, R-Truth, Val Venis, William Regal, Test, Big Show, Crash Holly, The Undertaker, Scotty 2 Hotty, Steve Austin, Billy Gunn, Haku, Rikishi

4. Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs Trish Stratus

517. The Road To Wrestlemania X-Seven, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Lilian Garcia, Howard Finkel

The setup for The Greatest Wrestlemania continues the gross Trish Stratus/Vince McMahon/Stephanie McMahon/Linda McMahon storyline, but also gives us some excellent matches between 2001's WWE Mt Rushmore: Austin, Rock, Triple H, and Angle.

1. William Regal & Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs Vince McMahon & Trish Stratus
2. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs Triple H
3. Triple H vs Steve Austin in a 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match
4. Kurt Angle (WWE Champ) vs The Rock

518. Wrestlemania X-Seven Part 1, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Michael Cole, John Coachman, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

I originally planned on including the final WCW match, Ric Flair vs Sting, but it's terrible. It's like a country fair match between two stars who've been out of the business for twenty years, so we'll let the final match be Booker T's, as he's headed for the WWE in a couple of episodes anyway.

1. Scott Steiner (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs Booker T
2. Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit
3. Ivory (WWE Womans Champ) vs Chyna
4. Shance McMahon vs Vince McMahon in a Street Fight
5. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin

519. Wrestlemania X-Seven Part 2, 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Michael Cole, Bobby Heenan, Gene Okerlund, John Coachman, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

Here's some more of the fabulous undercard of X-Seven, plus the follow-up match to last episode's headliner, as The Rock is shuffled off TV to become a movie star. The Gimmick Battle Royal is very silly garbage, but it's fun to see The Brain and Mean Gene come back for one last hurrah on WWE TV.

1. The Dudley Boyz vs Edge & Christian vs The Hardy Boyz in a TLC match
2. Gimmick Battle Royal
3. Triple H vs The Undertaker
4. Rhyno (WWE Hardore Champ) vs Raven
5. Matt Hardy (WWE European Champ) vs Christian vs Eddie Guerrero
6. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs The Rock in a Steel Cage

520. Two Man Power Trip 2001

Announcers: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel​

The combination of Steve Austin and Triple H as a dynamic duo would have completely steamrolled the WWE. Unfortunately, Triple H was injured pretty soon after the team's formation, and the storyline was abandoned. Highlights of this episode include the definitively final appearance of Right To Censor, and the stellar Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit feud.

1. Chris Jericho  (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Triple H
2. Undertaker vs Right To Censor in a Handicap Match 
3. Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle in an Ultimate Submission Match
4. Brothers Of Destruction (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Two Man Power Trip
​5. Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle in a 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match

Much of my reimagined discographies center around bands I know inside and out. I've owned every album. I've listened to them at least dozens of time. Years ago, I consolidated them to my favorite tracks.

Some of these, however, are learning experiences for me.

This Genesis discography is a little of each. I'm totally familiar with all of the Genesis albums. I know the post-80s output of Peter Gabriel. I've lived through all of Phil Collins career at a time when I was very impressionable. I've owned the first two Mike + The Mechanics albums. But until this project, I'd never listened to a Steve Hackett solo album. It's just not my thing. Steve Hackett is one of the primary reasons 70s Genesis sounds so prog rocky. And prog rock is something that doesn't hold my heart the way alternative rock,conscious hip-hop, 70s funk, or girl group R&B does. I can respect it. And, sure, in the late 90s, I owned every Rush album that they'd put out, which is at least seven million albums. But I wasn't popping on a Rush album and going for a walk. Same with Steve Hackett's material.

I respect it. I recognize why some tracks are more popular with his fans than others, but his stuff isn't really aimed at me so it doesn't hit me just right.

I debated doing a White Album approach, including tracks from the various solo members to make a more diverse sounding album, but, ultimately that would lead to me skipping around tracks when I listened to it, so I decided to keep things By Artist.

While Peter Gabriel was the first member to leave and have a big solo career, Hackett is the first departure who's post-Genesis material still sounds Very Genesis. I've pieced this together from his first three albums. I was going to use his first five but as soon as Deflector, his fourth album, started playing I said, out loud "Ok, this is when he decided to something new." I'm excited to get to that era of his solo work. But I like what's here. It's Way More Instrumental than almost any reimagined album I've put together/am ever going to put together. He just has more instrumental tracks in his output, and, well...some of the vocals on his non-instrumental tracks are too treacly 70s or wannabe spacey vocoder vibes for my taste.

1. Clocks

The other day, I turned on the toaster and ended up with "No Son Of Mine" being stuck in my head for an hour. Metronomic drums are Monster Earworms. This track is like an even more soundtrackey version of Pink Floyd's "Money". It sounds very 70s in the way that a lot of soundtracks to 80s movies with low budgets sounded very 70s. This isn't a bad thing. But I see cops walking the beat while credits roll to this song. The rolling guitar riff in the middle is where the names of the cameo actors pop up. It is a completely instrumental track.

2.  Ballad Of The Decomposing Man

In an alternate dimension, this is the theme song to a very silly British sitcom that only your coolest friends know about. It's got a mid-era Kinks vibe, a Monty Python vibe, and an out of nowhere, and yet recurring,  Honkey Tonk section. The lyrics are very silly. It's a working class carnival dirge, and 100% my favorite Hackett track that I've heard so far. I would put this on a Greatest Hits of Genesis album as a counterpoint to "I Know What I Like". I fucken love this song, and wish I'd encountered it earlier in my life.

3. Kim

I'm going to put aside my prejudice against this name. This a is a beautiful, haunting instrumental flute and guitar ballad. I love how the strum and the mournful flute play off each other. I also appreciate that it does all it needs to in two minutes and then ends before it wears out its welcome. I do imagine this track plays on loop at a theme park with long ride lines. It's very calming.

4. Hermit

Now we're back to early Kinks or 70s British hippie rock. Bands who listened to The Beatles but falsely viewed them as peers instead of inspiration. There's a sweet orchestral feel to it (again, lots of flute bouncing off  guitars) . This is the outro music to a Lord Of The Rings knockoff from the 70s. Instead of a ring in a volcano, they need to throw a necklace into the sea while hiding from someone who is represented by a giant ear.

5. Hoping Love Will Last

Have you ever wondered what would early Genesis sound like if they had a talented soul/r&b female vocalist? You have? Really? WHY? How high were you? Well, it turns out, it's a good mix. It's definitely montage music for a 70s romance flick with a creepy vibe. Something they showed late in the afternoons on 1980s television stations that weren't affiliated with NBC, CBS, or ABC. Definitely Dialing For Dollars material. But damn does Randy Crawford sing the absolute shit out of this song. 

6. Every Day

If you liked "Dance On A Volcano" by Genesis, here's its natural follow up. It sounds like it would fit right in on the post-Steve Hackett Genesis albums. Its vocals are by Pete Hicks, who I am unfamiliar with, but his harmonies with Hackett have a very Kansas vibe. But with definite Hackett Genesis guitar riffs. This would be in some crunchy coming of age sci-fi movie. Something Last Starfightery.

7. Icarus Ascending

Richie Havens serves as vocalist for the song that most sounds like it could have been played on commercial radio. I mean, the first section. There is a long schwoozy Mellatron infused breakdown in the middle before the vocals kick back in. Any movie with this on the soundtrack would have been written by someone who took the job to maintain their coke habit. It's eclectic and I can't decide whether I like the way it's sort of folky pop r&b, and then it's definitvely prog rock, and then it's some haunted hybrid. I think I do. I do much prefer the first half to the second. That sun is just too damned close.

8.  Hands Of The Priestess (Part 1)

Another instrumental track. This is a flute ballad callback. Very New Age store trying to sell you crystals to soothe your chronic arthritis. It could also pop up in the soundtrack to a movie just after the love interest has died and the emo protagonist is trying to go about their life. There is a fake fade-out where, when it fades back in, it's just peppier enough to give you hope that things are going to be okay. Maybe.

9. Star Of Sirius

Somewhere between Kansas and Genesis is this harmony-vocaled track to close out the album. It feels like the logical musical conclusion to this album, and yet also a bridge to post-Hackett Genesis. It's definitely the scene in an adventure movie where the clouds clear and, whether everything is better or not, the characters are moving on to the next stage in their lives. There's even a na na na na sort of chorus before Hackett reminds us that this is Still A Prog Rock record. 

The 1970s saw the birth of Super Groups. Rock and roll bands filled with legendary members of already famous bands, or successful solo artists, coming together to form commercial rock monsters. Cream, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Led Zeppelin, Journey. Genesis is a reverse-engineered supergroup. Nobody knew these theatre kid rockers with their flutes and special effect noises, recording their best Beatles riffs underwater and then stuffing a four minute jam solo in the middle of it. They were just a transient band credited with being one of the earliest progressive rock bands, and creating some of the most successful solo artists and side projects of 1980s pop. When their lead singer and, arguably, most interesting songwriter decided to go solo, they replaced him with their third drummer, and not only became More Commercially Successful, but also elevated him until he was one of the most successful artists of the 1980s. 

When I was a college student in Florida, I was asked to audition for a prog rock band that was forming in Gainesville. Not because I had The Best Voice In Florida but because, when they asked me if I knew any prog rock bands, I was the only one who could name someone other than Rush or Dream Theater (but it was really only Yes, Genesis, and Queesryche). I ended up not joining the band because, honestly, I don't like most prog rock. Even much of early Genesis just isn't my thing.

When I was first discovering rock music as a pre-teen, Genesis was the Phil Collins pop rock band. And I loved them. I don't think I knew Peter Gabriel had been a member until I was in high school. Shortly after We Can't Dance hit, they released a couple of live albums. One of them called The Way We Walk 2: The Longs, which included several early songs that I'd been unfamiliar with. So when I went away to high school and started spending too much money on albums, I tracked down as many early Genesis albums as I could find. 

This first album is really an early Best Of Genesis album. Sorry. I've listened to all their albums. Like many prog rock bands, I recognize their talent and complicated sound. But I'm not often longing to listen to eight minute slow build rock symphonies. I just don't get high enough. That's not a dig. I think there is a lot to early Genesis that I haven't been willing to take the time to properly appreciate. But here's what I like of their early work. 

1. I Know What I Like

I love an opening track that climbs from silence. Slap a brief spoken word piece on it before the melody kicks in, and it's going to be the track I choose to open an album. I know what I like / and I like what I know. The vocal melding of Gabriel and Collins is lush here. This was the first song that charted, coming seven years after they dropped their first album. It really makes me think of a charming small-cast play in a black box theater. 

2. Misunderstanding

Their first 80s hit, this is clearly a transition from progressive rock to pop rock. It's gott some background wooooo-oooo-ooohs behing Phil Collins's lead vocals. There's something both very Beach Boys and very early Phil Collins solo work about it. It's catchy but you might feel guilty if anyone saw you singing along to this in your car.

3. Turn It On Again

Sticking with the transition period of Duke is this fun track. I promise there's more Peter Gabriel tracks coming on this album. It's way chronologically out of order. But I love Collins's vocals on this. It just feels close to his work on Face Value, which is my favorite Collins album by a wide stretch. 

4. ABACAB

We reach all the way into 1981 for this somewhat grimier rock. This is more of an evolution of prog rock than the previous tracks. But synthy. Definitely more synthy than early Genesis. But fear not, it's not as synthy as C- New Wave rock. It really works to the band's strength here. It's an organic part of a long jam break.

5. The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway

Ok, now we're going back to the early 70s Gabriel era for the intro track to the one of the greatest Broadway Rock Shows to never actually be performed. I won't get into the plot. But if you're curious, the whole album, for which this is the title track, is solid. I didn't know that when I first heard it. I just enjoyed the progression of several different musical tricks, and the very simple chorus. It's so Clearly a rock musical track. Jesus Christ Superstar, Tommy. It's very catchy in a very different ways from the earlier Collins tracks.

6. Follow You Follow Me

Before Collins became the centerpiece of the group, Genesis had a rotating cast of five or six members. And Then There Were Three signalled one of their final evolutions, which was also their most long-tenured and successful. Phil Collins is certainly soft rocky. But this song still has a heavy foot in prog rock instrumentation. This is the closing tack to that album. I think it works better as a bridge between Gabriel Theater Rockers.

7. The Musical Box

This is the earliest, and also longest, track on the album. The opening song on Nursery Cryme, which is the eldest album I bought from them in high school. The harmonies are beautiful. The flutes are oh so happy 1970s. It's a lovely, sleepy lullaby dream sequence. 

8. Firth Or Fifth

Another early Gabriel track. This is very prog rock, and oh so 70s. There are a ton of great instrumental breaks on this, from Banks's opening piano solo to Gabriel's soothing flute to Hackett replaying the flute melody on the guitar. It's gorgeous. In live shows they segue the guitar section into "I Know What I Like" and it's perfect. 

9. Dance On A Volcano

From the first Gabriel-less album, this song is mostly catchy riff and chorus. Collins hasn't yet figured out his Lead Singer vibe, but that's ok. It's kind of fun to have a track that sounds like it's just instrumental track and background vocals. It's also a bit of a preview of Face Value era Phil Collins. I also enjoy how it sort of deflates at the end, which brings us to the melancholic

10. More Fool Me

This is such a sweet, sad little Peter Gabriel number. It's shorter and poppier than most of his era, and sounds nothing like his later solo work. And yet, if it showed up as a slight departure track on any album in any era of his career, you'd sort of nod and go "Ok, I can see that."

11. The Light Dies Down On Broadway

Even though it's not the album that I love the most from their early work, if you were to ask me which early Genesis album held up the best as an album, it's definitely The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway. This is a great callback to the earlier, title track from that album.

12. ...In That Quiet Earth

The previous track descends into ambient noise, and this sort of climbs out of it with a drum solo. A proper Phil Collins at the top of his game drum solo. This is the sole instrumental track on the album. Can you have a prog rock album without at least one? This is the one I like the best, and I love how it segues from the previous track to this album's finale.

13. Afterglow

A fitting end to this album, I think. It's the last track of Wind & Wuthering. It's not too far after the departure of Peter Gabriel, and it's the last track with Steve Hackett. It just feels like a closing track. It's got some ethereal "ahhhhhhhhing" to fade out on. 

One of the reasons the Scream franchise (which just released its fourth sequel) is so successful is that it plays off of tropes, and slasher movies are positively riddled with some of the worst tropes in genre filmmaking. Often, you can predict when a franchise is going to jump the shark, when it's going to focus on humor over horror, when it's going To Space, etc.

This installment is all about breaking rhythms. Some of them are franchise entries that just don't seem to fit in with any of the other films in the series. Some change the series for the better (we're going to skip the ones that changed their series for the worst). And we're going to throw in some one-shot films that stand out from their peers.

1. Friday The 13th: Jason Lives

The first four installments of the series are Fuck Around And Get Killed. Jason and his mom being absolute prudes. The death scenes are a little creative but it's mostly Terrifying Unkillable Man terrorizes sexy teens. In this movie, we mix it up. The little kid from The Final Chapter has grown up, and he wants to kill Jason again. A lot of this film is pre-Scream Scream. Metahumor, creative deaths, etc. This is also when the series gets supernatural as (at the end of the previous film) the protagonist accidentally resurrects Jason, making him a sort of zombie for the rest of the franchise. This time when the death scenes are funny, they're meant to be.

2. Freddy's Revenge

Oh, did you think we were going to skip this movie? Hellllll, no. This is the weirdest metaphor for growing up gay ever commited to film as Freddy, instead of just attacking people in nightmares, takes over a kid's body and uses him to kill people while they're awake. It's a bonkers movie, and has the most accidental subtext of any other movie in the course.

3. Bride Of Chucky

Jennifer Tilly makes everything better. Here, she plays a jilted lover of Charles Lee Ray (the guy stuck inside the Chucky doll) who brings him back to life only for him to kill her and trap her in a different murderous doll. It's weird. And, like Jason Lives, brings a different style of humor into the narrative.  There isn't any Andy in this movie, but don't worry, he'll be back.

4. Get Out

We've had subtextual metaphor, now let's go for something more Overt. Get Out is, without hesitation, the Best Movie in the whole Final Girl course. It's satirical horror about racism with easily the smartest script in modern horror. This is the kind of horror movie you can safely recommend to people who hate horror movies. And it's definitely a change of pace from all the movies that surround it.

5. Alone In The Dark

This is an almost Twin Peaks style of horror. A psychiatrist decides to work in an asylum with dangerous patients, and one of the patients decides that this new psychiatrist killed the psychiatrist he liked, and he convinces his most dangeous peers to escape the hospital and terrorize the psychiatrist's family. It's super creepy.

6. Final Destination 3

Death goes to the fairgrounds! There are no recurring characters from the first two films. A whole new batch of survivors flee from death with varying amounts of success. The story is really shunted to the side to focus on elaborate death scenes, which really are the highlight of all the Final Destination movies.

7. The Funhouse

Oh, we're staying at the faire, as this almost Ray Bradburyan tale of teens getting murdered because they didn't obey their parents takes place almost exclusively in a funhouse. These teens are much more likable than your Friday The 13th types, but it's still fun watching them get picked off after they witness a murder. 

8. Urban Legends

The actors who played Freddy, Chucky, and the Well-Manicured Man from the X-Files are just some of the interesting characters in this meta-meta movie. That's right, people who are watching these movies as a course guide, this movie is about maybe serial killings that take place around a cirriculum about urban legends. It's very Scream-like. Thus, we'll be skipping a Scream entry this semester.

9. Happy Death Day

We Stay In School for Groundhog Day The Slasher Flick. Yeup, a girl keeps reliving the same day, and she and her friends keep getting murdered. It's a Time Loop story! So much fun.

10. Wes Craven's New Nightmare

At the beginning of the season, we saw Nightmare On Elm Street switched up into a subtextual coming of age gay film. Now the franchise gets rejuvenated again as we focus on the actors from the original film, as well as its creator (Wes Craven) dealing with the PTSD of the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise. Oh, and Freddy might be real. 

This is, hopefully, the most complicated season I'll have to cobble together. WWE and WCW start this season at their creative peaks. The Attitude Era is in full swing at The Fed, and NWO is printing money for the former NWA. The heroes of the 80s and early 90s become the villains, the anti-heroes rise to the top of each company. Their weekly soap operas go from One Hour Superstar vs Enhancement Talent With Occasional Interview Segments to Two Hour Chaos Machines Where Superstars Are Frequently Arrested, Assaulted, And Who Knows What Else.

This was a terrible era to be female identified in the industry. The WWE frequently put on pillow fights, stripteases, and bikini matches. Those will not show up in this condensed history. We DO see the slow build rise of Chyna, who will be a huge influence on the eventual Women's Revolution, fifteen years later. We will also continue to see Alundra Blayze/Madusa be as massively underused in the WCW as she was in the WWE. Miss Elizabeth, an absolute delight in the WWE, will also be hugely miscast and misused in WCW. 

Some of the highlights of this season are MMA star Ken Shamrock's time in the WWE, the Montreal Screwjob, the creation of the Mr. McMahon character and The Corporation, Stone Cold's ascendance, the formation of Degeneration X (though we will be skipping their problematic anti-Nation Of Domination and much of their phallus-obsessed nonsense, and focus on their war with WCW and then The Corporation), the dominance of Kane, and Goldberg's WCW undefeated streak. We'll also say goodbye to ECW with just one episode this season, as it became a self-parody due to Paul Heyman's bouncing checks. Oh, and we'll also say goodbye to WCW by the end of the season. Yeup, both of them will reappear next season as properties of WWE, as Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, and Paul Heyman all take massive losses, establishing the WWE as THE main wrestling organization in the US (but stay tuned for the rise of TNA Impact and Ring Of Honor in Season Six).

1. New World Order, 1996

Hulk Hogan shocked the wrestling world at the end of last season, and now begins his Reign Of Terror as the biggest villain in wrestling, not just in the ring but behind the scenes as he continues to squash the potential stars of the industry under his big, black boots.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes, Eric Bischoff, Gene Okerlund, Mike Tenay, David Penzer, Michael Buffer

1. Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho
2. Big Show (as The Giant) vs Randy Savage
3. NWO vs WCW War Games
Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, NWO Sting vs Lex Luger, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Sting

4. Harlem Heat (WCW Tag Team Champs) vs Outsiders
5. Hulk Hogan (WCW Champ) vs Randy Savage​

2. Cold Day In Hell, 1996

To counter the shock of WCW's Hulk Hogan surprise heel turn, WWE executes an amazing slow burn heel turn as Bret The Hitman Hart becomes a villain for complaining about the way the industry is treating him while Stone Cold Steve Austin becomes a hero for doing pretty much the same thing.

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels, Todd Pettingill, Dok Hendrix, Howard Finkel

1. Bret Hart vs Steve Austin in a Submission Match
2. Undertaker (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
3. Bret Hart Goes Full Canadian
4. Ken Shamrock vs Vader in a No Disqualification Match
5. Undertaker (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin

3.  Filling Vacancies, 1996

Some undercard fun in WCW here as the Radicalz get some time to shine and Chris Jericho wrestles a referee. Plus, the first appearance of spooky Sting, and then it's Antique vs Antique as Hogan and Piper renew their feud from the early 80s.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes, Larry Zybysko, Lee Marshall, Gene Okerlund, Mike Tenay, David Penzer, Michael Buffer

1. Ultimo Dragon vs Rey Mysterio for the J Crown
2. Chris Jericho with one hand tied behind his back vs Referee Nick Patrick 
3. Dean Malenko (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Ultimo Dragon (J-Crown Champ)
4. Alundra Blayze (as Madusa) vs Akira Hokotu for WCW Womens Championship
5. Jushin Thunder Liger vs Rey Mysterio
6.William Regal vs Juventud Guerrera
8. Hulk Hogan (WCW Champ) vs Roddy Piper

4. Have A Nice Day, 1997

Mick Foley as Mankind was already a massive favorite in WWE, moreso than his WCW/ECW character, Cactus Jack. But his three part interview with Jim Ross turned him into a superstar. We also get to see our first WWE Light Heavyweight match as Taka Michinoku joins the party.

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Dok Hendrix, Howard Finkel

1. Owen Hart vs British Bulldog
​2. Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
3. Jim Ross Interviews Mick Foley
4. Taka Michinoku vs Great Sasuke
5. The Undertaker (WWE Champ) vs Vader

​5. Ultimate Jeopardy 1996, 1997

ECW had devolved into a pale imitation of itself. The Monday Night Wars left the company in the dust, and this is the last time we'll see the ECW proper. WWE will snatch it up next season, and some of these stars will be a part of that, but this is Paul Heyman's company's swan song, and it's....ok.

1. Sandman vs Konnan
2. The Dudley Boys (ECW Tag Team Champs) vs The Eliminators
3. RVD vs Lance Storm
4. Taz vs Sabu
5. Tajiri vs Super Crazy
6. RVD vs Tommy Dreamer
7. Sandman vs Sabu in a TLC Match

6. Radical Ascendence, 1997

The next generation of WCW stars steal the spotlight from the egomaniacs, apart from a spectacular Macho Man/DDP match. 


Announcers: Tony Shiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes, Eric Bischoff, Ted Dibiase, Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Lee Marshall, Jeff Katz, David Penzer, Michael Buffer, Neil Pruitt

1. Eddie Guerrero (WCW US Champ) vs XPac (as Syxx) in a Ladder Match
2. Dean Malenko (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs XPac (as Syxx)
3. Eddie Guerrero (WCW US Champ) vs Chris Jericho
4. The Outsiders (WCW Tag Team Champs) vs Lex Luger & The Giant
5. DDP vs Squire Dave Taylor
5. Rey Mysterio vs Ultimo Dragon
6. Akira Hokuto (WCW Womans Champ) vs Alundra Blayze (as Madusa)
7. DDP vs Randy Savage

7. Canadian Stampede, 1997

The Harts as Canadian diehards were the most fun group in an era of too many stables (The Nation Of Domination, Los Boricuas, and Disciples Of Apocalypse spring to mind). It's a pity how it all ended but their war with The Undertaker and Stone Cold was the highlight of this era of the WWE.

Announcers: VInce McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Pettengill, Howard Finkel 

1. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs Triple H in a Steel Cage
2. The Hart Foundation (WWE Tag Team Champs) vs Steve Austin & Mick Foley (as Dude Love)
3. British Bulldog (WWE European Champ) vs Ken Shamrock
​4. Owen Hart (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Steve Austin
5. Undertaker (WWE Champ) vs Bret Hart

8. Nitro, 1997

The WCW vs NWO angle stayed fresher a bit longer than I remembered, but still not that long, we begin to get a little long in the tooth here as more and more people defect from WCW, making NWO a little too big to take seriously.

Announcers:  Tony Shiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zybysko, Mike Tenay, Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Gene Okerlund, Michael Buffer, David Penzer 

1. Dean Malenko (WCW US Champ) vs Jeff Jarret
2. Akira Hakuto (WCW Womans Champ) vs Alundra Blayze (as Madusa) Title vs Career Match
3. Chris Benoit vs Ultimo Dragon
4. THe Outsiders vs DDP & Mr. Perfect
​5. Roddy Piper vs Ric Flair 
6. NWO vs Four Hoursemen WarGames
Kevin Nash, Buff Bagwell, XPac, Konnan vs Ric Flair, Mr Perfect, Chris Benoit, Steve McMichael

9. Road Wild, 1997

GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! And also Sting in the rafters and The Radicalz in the ring. Truly, this is Golden Age WCW. 
​

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Boby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zybysko, Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Gene Okerlund, David Penzer, Michael Buffer

1. Goldberg vs Hugh Morris
2. Eddie Guerrero (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Rey Mysterio
3. Goldberg vs The Barbarian
4. DDP vs Randy Savage
5. Goldberg vs Haku
6. Yuji Nagata vs Ultimo Dragon
7. Eddie Guerrero (WCW Cruiserweight Champ) vs Rey Mysterio
8. Mr. Perfect (WCW US Champ) vs Ric Flair with no DQs

10. The Montreal Screwjob, 1997

Y'all heard about this match, right? Easily the most important match in turning the tide from WCW to WWE in the Monday Night Wars.

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Albert DeFrusia

1. Steve Austin banned from Raw
2. Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker Hell In A Cell
3. Kane vs. Hardy Boys
4. Classic Survivor Series Match
Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson, Legion Of Doom vs Nation Of Domination

6. Owen Hart (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Steve Austin
7. Bret Hart (WWE Champ) vs Shawn Michaels

11. Souled Out, 1997 1998

Fallout from WWE spills over into WCW in what should have been the momentum swinger to WCW. Instead, they completely botch the arrival of Bret Hart and continue the dinosaur stampede of 1980s stars, even beginning to phase out The Radicalz. The slow plod to WCW's collapse begins at this time, but we'll focus on the great matches that still managed to take place during this decay.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, David Penzer, Michael Buffer

1. Chavo Guerrero Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Lizmark Jr. & Super Calo vs El Dandy, La Parka, Psychosis & Silver King in a Lucha Libre Rules Match

2. Goldberg vs Steve McMichael
3.Raven vs Chris Benoit in Ravens Rules Match
4. Scott Hall vs Lex Luger
5. Rey Mysterio (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Chris Jericho
6. Booker T (WCW TV Champ) vs Rick Martel
7. Chris Jericho (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Juventud Guerrera Title vs Mask
8. Bret Hart vs Ric Flair

12. D-Generation X

The crux of this episode is one of the greatest Royal Rumbles of all time. Like a couple of the rumbles that I've cut, there are a lot of filler characters in this who don't need to be remembered (The Godwinns, 8-Ball and Chains, the Headbangers ... I don't even know who Tom Brandi is, and I've seen this rumble dozens of times). But the pacing and storytelling of this match is superb. Plus, THREE MICK FOLEY CHARACTERS IN ONE MATCH!

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry  Lawler, Michael Cole, Howard Finkel

1. The Rock (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Ken Shamrock
2. Royal Rumble
Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack), Terry Funk (as Chainsaw Charlie), Tom Brandi, The Rock , Mosh, Phineas I. Godwinn, 8-Ball, JBL (as Blackjack Bradshaw), Owen Hart, Steve Blackman, D'Lo Brown, Kurrgan, Marc Mero, Ken Shamrock, Thrasher, Mick Foley again (as Mankind), (The Artist Formerly Known as) Goldust,  Jeff Jarrett, The Honky Tonk Man, Ahmed Johnson, Mark Henry, The Godfather (as  Kama Mustafa), Steve Austin, Henry O. Godwinn, Savio Vega, Faarooq ,  Mick Foley (as Dude Love), Chainz , Vader

13. War Of Attrition, 1998

Sure, WWE was already returning to their status as Top Empire In Wrestling but in order to pull in a record number of previous non-wrestling fans, they brought in one of the biggest names in the history of combat sports, Mike Tyson to play a part in the Shawn Michaels/Steve Austin fued. We also get a fun gimmick tag team match, and finally, Finally, Undertaker vs Kane (part 1 of roughly 1,000).

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Michael Cole, Doc Hendrix, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

1. Mike Tyson on Raw
2. War Of Attrition
Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson, Chainz, 8-Ball, Skull vs The Rock, Farooq, Mark Henry, D-Lo Brown, The Godfather

3. Taka Michinoku vs Essa Rios
4. Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) and Terry Funk (as Chainsaw Charlie) vs New Age Outlaws in a Dumpster Match

5. Undertaker vs Kane
6. Shawn Michaels (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin

14. The Streak (1998)

WCW begins to circle the drain. And we can't even blame Vince Russo, yet. The Goldberg Streak and the WCW Undercard were putting on spectacular matches while Hulk Hogan, Sting, Kevin Nash, Roddy Piper, Scott Hall, and the rest of the main eventers involved in the NWO storyline put on some of the most unwatchably dull matches in wrestling history. SO we're not going to watch the NWO split into the Black and White and The Wolfpac, we're not going to focus on the washed up WWE stars trying to relive their glory years, instead, we're going to watch the future WWE stars put on the matches that would make them famous.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Michael Buffer, David Penzer

1. DDP (WCW US Champ) vs Raven vs Chris Benoit
2. Goldberg vs Perry Saturn
3. Chavo Guerrero vs Ultimo Dragon
4. Booker T (WCW TV Champ) vs Chris Benoit
5. DDP (WCW US Champ) vs Raven in a Raven's Rules Match
6. Raven (WCW US Champ) vs Goldberg
7. Finlay (WCW TV Champ) vs Chris Benoit
8. Goldberg (WCW Us Champ) vs Hugh Morris

15. The War Zone, 1998

The Austin/McMahon feud is one of the surprisingly greatest feuds in the history of sports entertainment. And it really gets going here. The Rock also begins to properly ascend as the company's greatese heel, and the Mick Foley/McMahon relationship turns all sorts of weird. It's almost glorious.

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Dok Hendrix, Howard Finkel 

1. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs Vince McMahon
2. The Rock (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Farooq
3. Triple H (WWE European Champ) vs Owen Hart
4. Undertaker vs Kane in an Inferno Match
5. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Dude Love)

16. The Bottom Line, 1998

DX was a silly, profane, controversial group in WWE history. They were characterised as misognyist, homophobic, racist, but also supposed to be funny good guys. It aged Very Poorly. I've tried not to include their problematic material, and instead focus on their fun, such as their "attack" on WCW, and their feud with the McMahon family. We also see Dan Severn start to show up. I'd completely forgotten about him but he was an interesting counterbalance to Ken Shamrock for a few months in 1998, and his matches are worth the watches. Also, we don't get to hear it but while Triple H calls a match as a commentator, Chyna is commentating the match with the Spanish Announce Team. 

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Triple H, Michael Cole, Howard Finkel 

1. DX vs WCW
2. Kane vs Vader
3. The Nation vs DX
D-Lo Brown, Owen Hart, Kama Mustafa vs Triple H, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn
​
​4. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Dude Love)  in a Falls Count Anywhere Match
5. Ken Shamrock vs Jeff Jarrett
6. The Rock vs Dan Severen
7. Ken Shamrock vs The Rock

17. Last Gasps, 1998 1999

Here endeth The Last Great Thing in WCW history. These are all title matches with very little storyline developement because the stories were bad, but many of the matches were worse.  There is an entire year's worth of Pay-Per-Views used as the basis of this episode. It's bleak.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Michael Buffer, David Penzer

1. Goldberg (WCW US Champ) vs Scott Hall
2. Booker T (WCW TV Champ) vs Bret Hart
3. Hulk Hogan (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs Goldberg
4. Kidman (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Juventud Guererra vs Rey Mysterio
5. Goldberg (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs Sting
6. Bam Bam Bigelow vs Sandman in a Hardcore Match
7. Goldberg (WCW Champ) vs DDP
8. Goldberg (WCW Heavyweight Champ) vs Kevin Nash

18. Gimmickmania B'Gawd, 1998

There are some great gimmick matches in here, including The Greatest Hell In A Cell Of All Time, B'gawd!

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole,  Howard Finkel


1. D-Lo Brown vs X-Pac
2. Owen Hart vs Ken Shamrock in a Dungeon Match
​3. X-Pac vs Jeff Jarrett
4. Ken Shamrock vs Owen Hart in a Lion's Den Match
5. The Undertaker vs Mankind in Hell In A Cell B'Gawd
6. Steve Austin (WWE Champ) vs Kane in a First Blood Match
7. Kane (WWE Champ) vs Steve Austin

19. Socko Zamboni, 1998

Delightful shenanigans abound in this mostly fun Attitude Era classic.

Announcers: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Dok Hendix, Tony Chimel, Howard Finkel

​1. The Rock vs Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs Ken Shamrock
2. Taka Michinoku (WWE Lightweight Champ) vs Christian
3. Ken Shamrock (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
4. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs Steve Austin
5. The Rock vs Undertaker
6. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs The Rock for the WWE Championship

20. The Fingerpoke Of Doom & Butts In Seats, 1999

On January 4th, 1999, WCW signs their own death warrant in The Monday Night Wars. Their younger stars start to shift over to WWE while their geriatric headliners continue to put on the same boring shows over and over and over. At the beginning of the show that lost the war, host Tony Schiavone decides to roast the WWE by announcing that their show is taped and he spoils the new winner of the WWE title. As a result, millions of viewers switched over to Raw to see the title change. Those that stuck with WCW for that night were rewarded with what is widely regarded as The Worst Main Event in wrestling history.

Announcers: Tony Shiavone, Eric Bischoff, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Gene Okerlund, Michael Cole, Dok Hendix, Michael Buffer, Howard Finkel


1. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs X-Pac
2. Triple H vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
3. Goldberg vs Miss Elizabeth & The Detroit PD
4. The Rock (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
5. Kevin Nash (WCW Champ) vs Hulk Hogan
6. The Corporate Rumble
7. Mick Foley (as Mankind) (WWE Champ) vs The Rock

Serial 1: The Basics
(Janeway, Tuvok, Chakotay, Suder, Kazon, Paris)

The Kazon threat reaches its strongest point yet when they overrun Voyager and strand the crew on a planet. This leaves only Doctor and ...*checks notes*... that guy who murdered someone way back in Meld to team up and try and take down the Kazon and rescue the rest of the crew.


Episode 3: Broken Link
(Odo, Sisko, Worf, Garak, Drax, O'Brien, Quark, Bashir, Kira, Gowron)

Odo isn't doing very well, and needs the help of The Founders to get better. Of course, shenanigans ensue as Worf and Garak are amongst the crew that heads to The Founders' home planet. This episode sets up a ton of different storylines for the rest of the season.


Episode 4: Apocalypse Rising
(Sisko, Odo, Worf, Kira, Bashir, O'Brien, Gul Dukat, Gowran, Quark, Dax, Jake)
​
Last season, it seemed like The Jem'Hadar were the all powerful enemies, but it turned out that they just serve The Founders. Then the Klingons got involved. Then we went to Earth and it looked like maybe The Founders had taken over Starfleet. But what if they actually took over the Klingons? They are Everywhere. And Sisko, Odo, O'Brien, and Worf have to go undercover to unmask Gowran (who, apart from Worf, has the longest ongoing storyline this season). And Sisko makes A Fantastic Klingon. It's a joy to watch.


Serial 2: First Contact
(Picard, Riker, Worf, Data, Crusher, Troi, Laforge, Ogawa, Doctor)

It's fun to see them in action again (aside from Worf who just won't leave Deep Space Nine). Especially without the baggage of the TOS cast. In what's easily the best TNG movie, the crew follows the Borg into Earth's past, where everyone's favorite assimilators (unless you're a Cyberman fan) attempt to keep Earth's first contact with Vulcans from taking place.


Serial 3: Scorpion
(Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Kim, Kes, Torres, 7of9, Doctor, Paris, Neelix)

What could possibly frighten The Borg? Why, a mostly terrible new alien race from another dimension who The Borg just can't seem to assimilate. This new enemy is such a threat that The Borg and the crew of Voyager must team up to stop them.


Episode 9 (of 20): The Gift
(7of9, Kes, Janeway, Doctor, Tuvok, Chakotay, Kim, Torres, Neelix)

The newest member of Voyager is A Borg! And it's up to the rest of the crew to teach her how to be more human. It's somewhat Data-ey, but with more  potential murder than holodeck detective work.


Episode 10: Begotten
(Odo, Kira, O'Brien, Keiko, Bashir, Quark, Sisko, Worf)

Quark finds a baby changeling, and gives custody of it to Odo, causing him to rethink his relationship with the doctor who raised him. Alsowhile, Kira is having O'Brien and Keiko's baby and it is awwwwwwwwwwwwkward for everyone.


Episode 11: Trials & Tribbilations
Sisko, O'Brien, Bashir, Worf, Dax, Odo, Kirk, Chekov, Scott, Kira, Uhuru, Spock

This may be my favorite episode in the whole franchise. Filmed like a TOS episode, the crew of Deep Space Nine goes back in time to keep the Klingon villain from "The Trouble With Tribbles" from changing history.  There are a few scenes from the original TOS episode spliced in, and a lot of fun non-interactions between the two casts.


Episode 12: Affliction
(Archer, Phlox, T'pol, Reed, Tucker, Sato, Mayweather)

Why do The Klingons look so different between The Original Series, the Next Generation/Deep Space Nine era, and Discovery? Well, the crew of The Enterprise is back to try and answer that question as best as possible.


Episode 13: Divergence
(Archer, Phlox, T'pol, Reed, Tucker, Sato, Mayweather)

A disease has been threatening to make Klingons look more humanoid (as they do in The Original Series). It's up to some rogue Klingons and Doctor Phlox to come up with a cure to save the Klingon identity so that they can all look like Worf again by the time we get to Next Generation. It's a neat explanation, but, uh...why do they look like Glittery bathbombs in Discovery?


Episode 14: Message In A Bottle
(Janeway, 7of9, Doctor)

It's finally time, the crew of Voyager sends a message back to the Alpha Quadrant, hoping that The Federation will acknowledge that they're still alive.


Serial 2: A Year Of Hell 
(Janeway, 7of9, Tuvok, Chakotay, Paris)

There are species that even The Borg avoid. When this new threat attacks Voyager, they try a series of increadingly desperate tactics to survive.


Episode 17: One
(7of9, Doctor, Janeway, Paris, Torres, Kim, Chakotay)

When radiation from a nebula threatens the lives of everyone else on the ship, 7of9 becomes the crew's favorite member as she and The Doctor team up to save the ship.


Serial 3: In Purgatory's Shadow/By Inferno's Light
(Sisko,  Garak, Kira, Bashir, Dax, Odo, Worf, Gul Dukat, O'Brien, Nog, Rom, Martok, Jake)

The standoff with The Dominion gets a whole lot tougher when Gul Dukat leads The Cardassians into an alliance with The Dominion to take on Starfleet. There's a changeling spy on Deep Space Nine, AND Worf and Garak get trapped in a Jem'Hadar prison. This is the episode that cemented Garak as my favorite Cardassian, and soured me on Gul Dukat.


Episode 20: Call To Arms
(Sisko,  Garak, Kira, Bashir, Dax, Odo, Worf, Gul Dukat, O'Brien, Weyoun, Nog, Rom, Martok, Jake)

It's been building up for a few seasons, and now it's upon us. The Dominion War gets officially underway.

There are shows that take a while to get going but eventually become excellent, like "Bojack Horseman", "Star Trek The Next Generation", or "Parks & Rec". There are shows that are incredibly intriguing and fun to talk about when they start but eventually decay into almost parody, like "Lost", "Dexter", "Roseanne", or "Doctor Who". "Night Court" falls into both categories. Its first season is okay, it's last season is unrecognizably bad (a lot of '80s sitcome just fell apart when the 90s hit), but the middle seasons are a goldmine. So here's the middle season of "Night Court".  As far as '80s sitcoms go, it's a masterpiece.

This season begins with an eleven episode run from the beginning of Actual Season Five, which are then followed by what are largely considered the best two episodes of the series. 

Serial 1: Her Honor Pt 2
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Bob Wheeler)

While unemployed Harry plans the perfect prank to catch NYC's attention, Christine realizes that the judge's robe might not be for her. Also, Dan has to pretend to be Harry in order to get him reinstated.


Episode 3: Death Of A Baliff
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Art)

We've seen Selma die, we've heard that Florence has died, now it's Bull's turn. And when he comes back from the dead, he decides that God has decided he must give away all his worldly possessions.


Episode 4: Ladies' Night
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

After Roz has a bad breakup, Christine decides to take her to a male strip club. Everything gets real, though, when the guys show up.


Episode 5: Safe
(Harry Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Art)

While Harry get stuck in the midst of an illusion, Dan sells his soul.


Episode 6: Mac's Dillema
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz,)

An old army buddy shows up and tries to manipulate Mac into altering his record. Plus, Bull puts the corpse of a man who died in court in its own motorized cart to wreac havoc on the whole courthouse.


Episode 7: Who Was That Mashed Man?
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Art, Vincent)

Dan has to resist the advance of his boss's niece (Teri Hatcher) while Harry and the rest of the crew try to prevent a golden age TV star from killing himself.


Episode 8: No Hard Feelings
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

Elayne Boozler plays a wisecracking, blind assistant to Harry, and Dan deals with a visit from The Melty Man.


Serial 2: The Constitution
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

Roz accidentally takes too much insulin after being diagnosed as diabetic, and a criminal threatens to destroy the original version of The United States Constitution.


Episode 11: Let It Snow 
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Art)

Another blizzard. Thea heat goes out, and everyone risks freezing to death when they're trapped in the courthouse.


Episode 12: I'm Ok, You're Catatonic/Schizophrenic
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Buddy, Mel Torme)

While Harry is busy trying to keep his stepfather from being permanently committed to a mental hospital, Dan chains Mel Torme is in his office. This is considered one of the best three episodes of the show's run.


Episode 13: Another Day In The Life
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

Widely considered the best episode of Night Court, the staff has one shift to solve 207 cases, in order to get a millionanaire to donate money to an orphanage.


Episode 14: Heart Of Stone
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

Judge Heartbreaker ends up in an a relationship with an ex, who is married to someone else. 


Episode 15: The Jung And The Restless
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz)

Roz has been the unsung hero of the show since joining the cast. We end this, the best season of the reimagined show with Roz entering anger management to try and get her temper under control.

After I posted a proposed Season 1 of a condensed Night Court, anticipating the arrival of the rebooted series, a couple of people noted that the show wouldn't work now, specifically because of the character Dan Fielding, a lecherous lawyer with an assortment of outdated ideals and prejudices (note: not racism ... other than I'm sure institutional racism ... but classism, ableism, and a disrespect to anyone who doesn't fit his norms). I think the show slowly morphs Dan into a three-dimensional person who grows past his prejudices. But in this season, he is The Worst.

Meanwhile, we meet the new baliff Florence, who is then replaced by Roz, who becomes the final member of the permanent cast. We also learn quite a bit more about each character's life outside of the court, ending on a four episode serial that significantly shifts the power balance of the show.

Serial 1: Wheels Of Justice
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Phil, The Wheelers)

Everything goes wrong at the beginning of this season. A financial crisis causes the city to freeze payroll, the letter of the fails Harry when he wants to do something good, and a judge brought in to replace Harry when he decides to quit Dies On The Stand. Also, Data from TNG shows up as the patriarch of a constantly down on their luck family.


Episode 3: The Apartment
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Quon Le, Leon)

We're skipping most of a season long storyline where Harry takes care of the shoeshine boy from the courthouse. It's a treacly storyline that's kind of a downer. But he does show up in this episode where Harry hosts a birthday party for Dan where Everything Goes Wrong again. A woman from juvenile service, a stripper, the threat of mass suicide, and a magician all figure in to the shenanigans.


Serial 2: The Hurricane
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Art, The Wheelers)

It seems like there were always natural disasters hitting the New York City Municipal Court, and always when it could cause the most chaos. A hurricane, named after Harry's favorite singer,  traps Four Pregnant Women in the court.


Episode 6: Dan's Boss
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Vincent)

This is the first of two episodes that I don't consider great but hit a Night Court trope. Each of them hitting it in a remarkably different way. Look, Dan is a creep. He would justifiably be #metooed out of the judicial system if he were a real person in modern times. He was also a huge bigot (not a racist that I remember, but his class bias and appearance bias were raging). In this episode his boss turns out to be a little person, causing Dan to make tons of short jokes that the audience laughs at, but in the end Dan is shown the error of his ways, and maybe you shouldn't laugh at all those short jokes. Very 80s.


Episode 7: Best Of Friends
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Phil)

In this episode, Dan's best friend from his law school days returns, having had gender reassignment surgery. The jokes are just as distasteful here as they were in the previous episode. The audience laughs along with it. But in this episode, the rest of the characters are Just As Bad. Oh, sure, they try and get Dan to look past his bigotry but each of them exposes their own bigotry in the process. In the end, none of them seem to have really learned anything or changed, other than Dan seems to be less transphobic. Harry and Christine, on the other hand, hide behind false progressiveness, being kind to Chip but viewing Chip as abnormal. 


Episode 8: The Next Voice You Hear
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Buddy)

Harry gets a long lost letter from his mother, and decides to track her down, only to discover that she passed away, after a long stay in a mental hospital. This reunites him with his stepdad, Buddy, who was one of my favorite characters growing up. We also get a new baliff, as Florence has retired, so welcome Roz, the last permanent cast member to join the show.


Episode 9: Giving Thanks
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Phil)

Another cringey Dan-centered story. He saves Christine's life and wants to be repaid with sex.


Serial 3: Dan's Operation
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Phil, Sheila)

There's a sort of arc here about redeeming Dan. When he's hospitalized for an ulcer, he tries to return to work, only to end up in even worse shape. The rest of the crew confronts him about his selfishness and poor behavior.


Episode 12: Earthquake
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Art)

Another natural distaster, another Dan is trapped in an elevator. This time, instead of a queer man who finds him attractive, it's a pair of sumo wrestlers and Roz.         


Episode 13: A Day In The Life
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, Sheila)                                                                                                                   
Considered the second best episode of the series (the episode considered the best is a direct sequel to it), the court has just one night to get through 200 cases or all the defendants will be granted amnesty. There's a lot of story packed into this one, including the return of Sheila, the woman who only wants to have sex with Dan when he is unable to have sex.


Serial 4: Her Honor Part 1
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Roz, The Wheelers)

It's the time of year when new judges are appointed and Dan is disappointed to learn that he's been passed over but Christine has earned the right to wear the robe. And then it's announced that Harry won't be reassigned.  Shenanigans ensue. This serial is four episodes long, so I've divided it between the end of this season, and the beginning of the next season, just as they did on the original run.

At some point in 2022 or 2023, John Laroquette is set to return to Night Court for a reboot that has the potential to either be an amazing update of a classic show a la The Conners (nee Roseanne), One Day At A Time, Duck Tales, Cobra Kai, or just another tepid nostalgia trip like Murphy Brown, MacGyver, or 90210. There's at least an entire generation that missed out on the often funny, sometimes poignant, occasionally terrible sitcom about an offbeat judge and a somewhat revolving gang of misfit lawyers, clerks, baliffs, and stenographers who work with him.

Like many late twentieth century sitcoms, there are way too many episodes of the show to be consistently good. And this show, in particular, suffers from an incredibly disappointing final season where the creators decided to mix things up a bit and lost much of the show's heart in the process.

So here's a very condensed set of episodes (75 instead of 193) that include all of the Must Sees and a bunch of a Here's What Was Considered Progressive TV In The 1980s and very early 1990s.

My Season One reaches from the pilot all the way into the third season as main characters come and go (some come back again, some die) and we get to see the surface of some characters that we'll eventually come to understand better. Also, hopefully, we'll laugh a bunch.

1. All You Need Is Love  
(Harry, Dan,  Bull, Selma, Lana, Sheila, Carla B)

Nobody likes the brash new judge, Harry Stone, or his desperate magic tricks and tomfoolery. And when he tries to settle a divorce/attempted murder dispute, things go awry for everyone involved. But, obviously, if he was this incompetent the show wouldn't last very long, right?

2. Santa Goes Downtown
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Lana, Liz, Carla B)

Michael J. Fox is the first famous guest star as he plays one half of a pair of runaway teens who end up involved with a man claiming to be The Actual Santa Clause. It's a certainly goofy premise but it ends up being a solid episode of a sitcom.

3. The Former Harry Stone
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Lana, Liz, Al Craven)

But, like, who IS Harry Stone? Besides a wannabe magician, and the greatest troll in the New York Judiciary Sytem? The crew and a sleazy reporter would like to know. This episode features an appearance from Seinfeld's dad.

4. Some Like It Hot 
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Lana, Liz, Art, Yakov)

A Russian immigrant threatens to set himself on fire if the only alternative is jail. What a country! This episode also features our introduction to Art The Maintainance Guy, and the final appearance of Lana.

5. Bull's Baby
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Liz, Charley)

Bull's neighbor abandons their baby to his care, making him more useless than usual. Less useful than usual?

6. The Nun
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac)

Harry is Such A Heartbreaker in this series. This time, instead of a coworker or prostitute falling for him, he accidentally causes a nun to forsake her vows. Wowsers. Also, Mac finally arrives as the new court clerk.

7. Nuts For Harry
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Sue)

Surprisingly not another episode of Harry being a heartbreaker. Instead, a group of escaped mental patients seeks asylum.

8. Daddy For The Defense
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Christine, Jack Sullivan)

Christine debuts as an optimistic public defender (don't get used to her, she disappears for a while after this episode) with daddy issues that end up putting her dad in jail.

9. Harry On Trial
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie)

Welcome Billie,  the new public defender, who will definitely be around forever. In this episode, Harry's nemesis tries to have Harry removed from the bench. Will he, too, be removed from the cast?

10. Inside Harry Stone
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie, Buddy)

Although referred to as Kenny in this episode, a very important future regular shows up while Harry needs treatment for an ulcer. Oh, and the new public defender is in love with him.

11. The Blizzard
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie, Art)

It's the trapped in an elevator trope! This is one of the first Dan Is Unprogressive And The Rest Of The Cast Tries To Educate Him episodes. He's trapped in an elevator with a gay man who finds him attractive. Give it up for 80s drama.

12. Dan's Parents
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie)

As you can probably guess by the title, Dan's parents pay him a visit. It turns out they're very rural. And Dan is a bag of shit. But we knew that already.

13. Married Alive
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie, Phil)

This is a very Dan-centric part of the season, as he falls in love with an heiress. The rest of the crew assumes he's an insincere gold digger, but he proclaims his love for her. Also, the first appearance of Dan's homeless sidekick, Phil.

14. Mac And Quon Le Together Again
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Selma, Mac, Billie, Quon Le)

We skipped a mediocre episode where Mac 's flame from the Vietnam war comes to visit and the two end up in a complicated green card marriage. But this episode, when she's arrested, is a much better love story. Also, Dan and Billie compete for the same job. I mean, only one of them is going to make it to next season, so ... have a guess who wins.

15. Hello Goodbye
(Harry, Dan, Bull, Mac, Christine, Florence, Phil)

We end this season on a bit of a heartbreaker. The actress who played Selma (also named Selma) died inbetween seasons of the show. Her death sends Bull into deep depression. As the other members of the court deal with their grief, Christine returns to the public defender position and Florence debuts as Selma's replacement. 

To watch all of The Star Trek franchise, it would take you nearly a month of no-sleep-marathoning. Nearly 550 hours at this point. Twenty-four days. AND THEY'RE STILL MAKING MORE. You don't have that kind of time.

I've attempted to put together a much more condensed series of Star Trek. Dividing it into ten episode seasons. For the most part, these are My Favorite Episodes. I've left out some that are historically important episodes, in favor of things that I found fun to watch. If you're a Trekkie or Trekker, or just consider yourself a fan, I may have left off your favorite episode. Sorry. But this is more a list for people like me, who had seen an episode here and there, were interested in seeing more, but don't want to invest in the whole 530+ hours. I'm doing it, so others don't have to.

With the ending of TNG, we are left with two atypical Star Trek series: Deep Space Nine, which takes place mostly on a space station near a wormhole, and Voyager, which is your typical federation starship, but lost on the opposite side of space from the federation, and made up of a crew that is half federation, and half Maquis terrorist. These are both brilliant conceptual twists on Star Trek. Sadly, Voyager never delivers on its potential. I'm not saying that it's terrible, I'm saying that the Maquis/federation angle is never fleshed out as well as the space station angle of Deep Space Nine.

This season focuses on the show Deep Space Nine, but focuses on episodes that mostly revolve around one of their ships, The Defiant, which is the first cloakable federation vessel. The Defiant gets much use as the federation gets embroiled in a constantly shifting war this season, which introduces new villainous aliens, and upgrades some old school aliens to new adversarial heights.

Episode 1: Jem'Hadar
(Sisko, Jake, Quark, Nog, Odo, Kira, Dax, O'Brien, Bashir)

A father/son bonding trip between Sisko and Jake (as well as Quark and his nephew Nog) goes horribly awry when they are kidnapped by the new Big Bad of Deep Space Nine. Forget the Cardassians, the Jem'Hadar are nonfuckwithable warriors from the other side of the wormhole, and they're about to change the whole feel of the series.


Episode 2: Projections
(Doctor, Janeway, Tuvok, Torres, Neelix, Barclay)

Going all the way back to the first season of our journey, the doctors on board the various Star Trek vessels really shine when an episode spotlights them. Mccoy's various lovelife problems, Phlox trying to fit in with humans on Enterprise, Crusher watching the entire crew vanish on TNG, Bashir...well, I'm sure Bashir will get interesting eventually. But Doctor on Voyager is just a hologram. How does that make him feel? And, wait, how is Barclay here?


Serial 1: The Search
(Sisko, Odo, Quark, Kira,  Bashir, Dax, O'Brien, Garak)

So, it turns out the Jem'Hadar are just soldiers who work for The Founders, and they are the unfuckwithable adversaries for the season. Starfleet uses their newest ship, The Defiant, to try and track them down. But the Jem'Hadar have other plans. Oh, and Odo ends up finally meeting aliens just like him. 


Episode 5: The Defiant
(Riker, Kira, Sisko, Dukat, Bashir, Dax, O'Brien, Quark)

Riker's back to check out Deep Space Nine's latest acquisition, We've already seen him hijack Enterprise's storyline for a while, is this just his way of weaseling into the cast of Deep Space Nine now that The Next Generation is over?


Episode 6: Prototype
(Torres, Janeway, Doctor, Tuvok, Kim, Paris)

There have been several continuity episodes of Voyager that we've skpped over because, well, they're not an interesting crew yet. But here, they come together to try and rescue a robot with memory problems who sort of reminds them of Data.

Serial 2: Improbable Cause/Die Is Cast
(Garak, Odo, Bashir, Sisko, O'Brien, Dax, Kira, Eddington)

It has been inferred since the beginning of Deep Space Nine, that Garak, a Cardassian tailor, is actually a high ranking spy. So when his shop is blown up under mysterious circumstances, Bashir and Odo delve into his past.


Episode 9: The Adversary
(Sisko, Dax, O'Brien, Eddington, Jake, Quark, Kira, Odo, Bashir)

Like Odo, The Founders are all changelings, so imagine the damage they could do if they infiltrated Starfleet and Deep Space Nine. Oh, shit, did that already happen?


Episode 10: Meld
(Tuvok, Janeway, Suder, Doctor, Torres)

A senseless murder leads Tuvok to do a mind meld with the confessed killer, and things don't go very well for him.


Serial 3: Generations
(Picard, Kirk, Riker, Data, Laforge, Worf, Troi, Scotty, Chekov, Crusher)

Not the greatest Star Trek film by a long shot, but we do get to see a prolonged sequence with Picard and Kirk working together to stop the villain from A Clockwork Orange, I mean the villain from Tank Girl, I mean Mad Mod from Teen Titans. It's....watchable.


Serial 4: Way Of The Warrior
(Worf, Sisko, Odo, Kira, Dax, Garak, O'Brien, Gowran, Quark, Gul Dukat, Bashir)

The Klingons haven't been a big part of Deep Space Nine. Sure, Dax and some of her Klingon friends went on an adventure, and yea, the sisters of Duras were around for an early episode, but for the most part, they haven't been very present. But when Gowran decides The Klingon Empire should protect the wormhole from The Founders, he incites a war between The Klingons and The Cardassians, and it gets so intense that Deep Space Nine recruits Worf from Enterprise to join their crew. Take that, Riker.


Episode 15: Deathwish
(Janeway, Chakotay, Doctor, Riker, Q, Quinn)

I can't believe I'm putting another Q episode in this continuity. But it's mainly because Riker, who wasn't successful on staying part of the Deep Space Nine cast, suddenly pops up here to help decide the fate of an errant Q (Quinn) who wants to commit suicide.


Episode 16: Dreadnought
(Torres, Janeway, Chakotay, Doctor)

There isn't enough of the Maquis storyline in Voyager, given its pilot episode. This is a nice glimpse of what might have been as Torres encounters a Cardassian weapon she reprogrammed when she was a part of the Maquis. Can she stop it from destroying a completely innocent planet full of life?
 
 
Episode 17: Maneuvers
(Janeway, Chakotay, Torres, Kim, Seska, Tuvok, Neelix, Paris)

The closest Voyager comes to making the Maquis/federation conflict work is the character Seska, a Cardassian who was living as a Bajoran. She defects from Voyager before this episode and joins up with the Kazon, who are The Big Bads of the first three seasons of Voyager, but who pale in comparison to The Klingons, The Romulans, The Cardassians The Borg, The Jem'Hadar, The Founders, the spooky children of The Original Series, Tribbles, evil Kirk from the Mirror Universe, a stick of gum that gets caught in your sneaker treads. They're a weak adversary, and they're rarely a threat. Until they get combined with Seska. 


Episode 18: Deadlock
(Janeway, Torres, Kes, Doctor, Chakotay, Paris, Neelix)

Two Voyagers? This seems like it could be a problem. Can one Janeway see through the rift in time and save her crew where the other Janway failed?


Episode 19: Homefront
(Sisko, Odo, Jake, Nog)

What if The Founders reached Earth, which has been a paradise since the beginning of this series (apart from the whole Borg attack in Best Of Both Worlds a few seasons ago, and the whale problem from The Voyage Home)? Sisko, Odo, and Jake return to San Francisco (say that five times fast) to help prepare the planet, only to discover The Founders may already be there. This is a particularly good episode about fear mongering and the loss of freedom due to the fear of terrorism (and this was a pre 9/11 series). It's technically part one of a two-part arc, but the second half undoes the power of this episode, if it existed in a vacuum.


Episode 20: To The Death
(Sisko, Worf, Dax, Bashir, Kira, Odo, Quark)

After Deep Space Nine is attacked by a faction of the Jem'Hadar, the crew of The Defiant run into another faction of Jem'Hadar who were also attacked. The two crews work together to take down the first faction. There are some great moments of culture examination in this episode between The Jem'Hadar, humans, Klingons, and The Founders. Deep Space Nine was truly the best Star Trek series when it comes to examining how every side in a war is actually The Bad Side.

Hey, yo. This is the season of The Cliq. A heartbreaker, a bad guy, a big sexy, an upstart kid, and the future son-in-law of the owner first cement themselves on the main event scene in WWE, and then split up and take over WCW as well. And the WCW is already full of WWE's aging castoffs taking up valuable headlining real estate while an amazing crop of up and comers get buried. Oh, and then they go to WWE.

At the same time, ECW comes to promenence, and most of those undercard WCW players put on some excellent headlining matches there. 

The star pupil of this season though, is Mrs. Foley's baby boy, who wrestles as Cactus Jack in WCW, then becomes the massively over Cactus Jack in ECW, then becomes megaheel Mankind in WWE. His mic skills and his willingness to destroy his body is like nothing from the previous two seasons. And it's a joy to watch him become one of The Guys in the industry.  

1. Everything Old Is New Again, 1994 1995

While ECW gives us some new faces, and some intriguing new gimmicks for some of the 70s and 80s wrestling stars, WCW buys the contracts of WWE's biggest names and uses them to buffer its roster. And, sure enough, we start off with their biggest grab, as Hulk Hogan arrives and immediately begins feuding with Ric Flair.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, Gene Okerlund, Mike Tenay, Gary Michael Cappetta 

1. Steve Austin (WCW US Champ) vs Ricky Steamboat
3. Ric Flair (WCW Champ) vs Hulk Hogan
4. Steve Austin (WCW US Champ) vs Jim Duggan
5. Vader vs Sting vs Big Boss Man

2. The Great Undertaking, 1994

WWE is about to go from slight creative problems to a massive drought so we start this sort of understated WWE part of the season with holdover storylines from last season, and the return of The Undertaker, and the return of another Undertaker?

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Randy Savage, Gorilla Monsoon, Todd Pettengill, Howard Finkel

1. Bret Hart (WWE Champ) vs Owen Hart in a Steel Cage
2. Scott Hall (as Razor Ramon) (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Jeff Jarrett
3. Undertaker Vs Underfaker
4. The Teamsters Vs The Bad Guys
Sean Michaels, Kevin Nash (as Diesel), Owen Heart, Jim Neidhart, and Jeff Jarret vs Scott Hall (as Razor Ramon), X-Pac (as 123 Kid), British Bulldog, Rikishi (as Fatu), The Barbarian (as Seone) 

 No Jacket Required, 1995

Weird storylines abound, with the payoff to some longterm events. The Owen vs Bret Hart feud continues but now involves Bob Backlund reliving his loss to The Iron Sheik from the early 80s. And The Undertaker (not Faker) gets his revenge on Yokozuna from their previous casket match. The Bret Hart grudge over a stolen jacket is one of my favorite short term rivalries.

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, Jerry Lawler, Todd Pettengill, Howard Finkel

1. Bret Hart (WWE Champ) vs Bob Backlund
2. The Undertaker vs Yokozuna in a Casket Match
3. Razor Ramon (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Jeff Jarret
4. Brett Hart Vs Jean-Pierre Lafitte

10. Transitional Era, 1995

What a great time to be an ECW fan. A ton of the most talented, hungriest,  WCW wrestlers were getting passed over in order to continue shining the spotlight on Hogan, Savage, Flair, Sting, and the rest of the aging 80s superstars. But the WWE wasn't yet convinced that they were future superstars so Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Mick Foley, Dean Malenko, and Steve Austin all mix it up with ECW's homegrown talent like Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, and Mikey Whipwreck (I think Raven belongs to Everywhere since he has bounced back and forth between every major promotion in the late 20th/early 21st century.) Some of ECW's best ever matches take place here, and we end on one of their only ever 5 Star matches, which really belonged on the last show, but I like it as the closing match here.

​Announcers: Paul Heyman, Joey Styles, Joel Gertner, Rick Rude, Tod Gordon, Bob Artese

1. Rey Mysterio vs Psicosis
2. Mikey Whipwreck (ECW Champ) vs Steve Austin
3. Sabu vs Hack Meyers
4. Tommy Dreamer & Terry Funk vs Raven & Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack)
5. Rey Mysterio vs Psicosis in a Mexican Death Match
6. RvD vs Axl Rotten
7. Eddie Guerrero (ECW TV Champ) vs Dean Malenko

​14. Just Another Night, 1996

Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, RvD, and Mick Foley show why they're the future of wrestling.

Announcers: Paul Heyman, Joey Styles, Joel Gertner, Tod Gordon, Bob Artese

1. Chris Jericho vs Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack)
2. Rey Mysterio vs Juventud Guerrero 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match
4. Sabu vs RVD
5. Taz vs Joe Hartgood
6. Brian Pillman vs The Audience
7. 2 Cold Scorpio (ECW TV Champ) vs Sabu
8. Mick Foley vs Mikey Whipwreck

15. The Outsiders, 1996

WCW's undercard (which was also the best part of the ECW roster) continues to be fantastic, but to freshen up the Senior Citizen Headliners, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash form The Outsiders along with The Third Man, as the preliminary to the rise of the NWO (which, you know, eventually destroyed WCW, resulting in it being purchased by the WWE). We've also seen ECW take some digs at WCW this season, well, they get a brief laugh back here as Rey Mysterio and Psicosis cross to their side of the line to put on some absolutely killer matches, and donm't worry Juventud isn't far behind.

Announcers: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Lee Marshall, Michael Buffer, David Penzer

1. Dean Malenko (WCW Cruserweight Champ) vs Rey Mysterio
2. Sting vs Steven Regal
3. Big Show (WCW Champ) vs Lex Luger
4. Rey Mysterio Vs Psicosis
5. Randy Savage, Sting & Lex Luger vs The Outsiders & The Third Man

16. 3:16, 1996

We start this off with the King Of The Ring tournament that essentially kicks off the WWE's Attitude Era as Steve Austin gets his first two catchphrases. Also, Mick Foley shows up to the WWE as Mankind and begins an Epic Feud with The Undertaker.

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect, Owen Heart, Mark Henry, Dok Hendrix, Tod Pettengill, Howard Finkel

1. Steve Austin vs Marc Mero
2. Jake Roberts vs Vader
3. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs Undertaker
4. Steve Austin vs Jake Roberts
5. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs Undertaker
​6. Shawn Michaels (WWE Champ) vs Vader 

17. Buried Alive, 1996

The Attitude Era starts to bubble up through The New Generation as Vince McMahon realizes he's going to have to get a bit edgier if he wants to squash the WCW.

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jim Cornette, Mr. Perfect, Dok Hendrix, Todd Pettengill, Kevin Kelly, Howard Finkel

1. Shawn Michaels (WWE Champ) vs Mick Foley (as Mankind)
2. Steve Austin vs Triple H
3. Marc Mero (WWE Intercontinental Champ) vs Goldust
4. Sycho Sid vs Vader 
5. Undertaker vs Mick Foley (as Mankind) in a Buried Alive Match

18. The Royal Screwjob 1997

The tables are turning in WWE (while they burn and are being crashed through in ECW). Long time faces are forced to turn heel as antiheroes become the new faces of the company. This is really leading us towards the Attitude Era and the Montreal Screwjob. But first, a lesser screwjob that really strengthens one of the best feuds of 20th century wrestling.

1. Mick Foley (as Mankind) vs The Undertaker
2. Bret Hart vs Steve Austin
3. Farooq vs Ahmed Johnson
4. Royal Rumble

Crush, Ahmed Johnson, Fake Razor Ramon, Phineas I. Godwinn, Steve Austin, Bart Gunn, Jake Roberts, The British Bulldog, Pierroth, The Sultan, Mil Máscaras, Triple H, Owen Hart, Goldust, Cibernético, Marc Mero, Latin Lover, Faarooq, Savio Vega, Road Dogg, Bret Hart, Jerry Lawler, Fake Diesel, Terry Funk, The Rock, Mankind, 2 Cold Scorpio, Vader, Henry O. Godwinn, The Undertaker​​

19. Shawn Michaels Loses His Smile, 1997

While The Nation of Domination becomes a thing, and fake Razor Ramons and Diesels litter the landscape, The Heartbreak Kid gets a big sad-on and announces his retirement for neither the first nor the last time. He takes the prestige of The New Generation with him, as this is really the final pay-per-view before The Attitude Era really kicks off. You can tell it's coming because both Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler are on commentary for this one.

Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Dok Hendrix, Todd Pettengill, Howard Finkel

1. Shawn Michaels Loses His Smile
2. Four Corners Match to determine  new WWE Champ
Bret Hart, Steve Austin, Undertaker, Vader

3. Goldust vs Triple H
4. Bret Hart (WWE Champ) vs Sycho Sid
5. ECW Invasion
6. Goldust vs Triple H
​7. Sycho Sid (WWE Champ) vs Undertaker

20. Hog Wild, 1996

And while the WWE gets ready to go All Attitude, WCW is about to go All-In on the NWO experiment, as the conclusion of this episode sees Hollywood Hulk Hogan deface the WCW belt to make it the property of wrestling's newest fad.

1. Lex Luger vs Big Boss Man
2. Alundra Blayze vs Bull Nakano
3. Chris Benoit vs Dean Malenko
4. Ric Flair (WCW US Champ) vs Eddie Guerrero
5. The Outsiders vs Sting & Lex Luger
6. The Big Show (WCW Champ) vs Hulk Hogan

Serial 1: Descent
(Data, Picard, Riker, Crusher, Worf, LaForge, Troi, Lore, Hugh)

The Borg are back, and a couple of characters we haven't seen for a while resurface and threaten the Federation with imminent destruction.


Episode 3: Cardassians
(Bashir, Sisko, O'Brien, Garak, Gul Dukat, Keiko, Odo)

A Cardassian orphaned child raised by Bajorans ends up in the middle of a custody dispute. I really enjoy the writing on Deep Space Nine, but like most Star Trek shows, the episodes are usually pretty well telegraphed. This one doesn't have any M Night Shyamalan twists, it just doesn't take the easiest way out.


Episode 4: Rules Of Acquisition
(Quark, Kira, Dax, Nagus, Sisko, Rom, Odo)

Staying with The Deep Space Nine crew, but taking a break from all the Cardassian/Bajoran problems, we focus on the Ferengi bartender of the ship as he attempts to expand Ferengi business contacts to the other side of the Wormhole. Most of the focus of this episode is on gender politics in Ferengi culture, which is wildly misogynist, even for a Star Trek species. Also, his brother is a moron. And his even more misogynist mentor thinks intelligent Ferengi females are inconceivable, though he may not know what that word means.


Episode 5: Frame Of Mind
(Riker, Picard, Crusher, Worf, Data, Laforge)

Is Riker insane? While practicing a play about losing his mind, Riker wakes up in solitary confinement. Uh-oh.


Episode 6: Lower Decks
(Picard, Worf, Crusher, Riker, Laforge, Troi, Data, a bunch of people you'll never see again)

Did you know there are other people on the Enterprise besides the usual crew? In this episode we watch a bunch of ensigns vying for promotion on the ship. It's a cool way to explore the relationship between the senior staff, and how they've grown over the duration of the show.


Serial 2: The Maquis
(Sisko, Dax, Gul Dukat, Quark, Bashir, Kira)

The beginning of an intriguing addition to the Bajoran/Cardassian conflict, as we learn of The Maquis, a Bajoran terrorist cell that will begin to reform the Star Trek universe. This conflict eventually leads to the introduction of Voyager, and features heavily in the intervening episodes.


Episode 9: Preemptive Strike
(Ro, Picard, Riker, Troi, Crusher, Worf, Data)

Newly promoted Lieutenant Ro goes undercover in a Maquis terrorist cell. But will she go rogue and leave the Federation to help her Bajoran brethren battle the Cardassians? Nah, this is a Star Trek episode. I'm sure everything will go back to status quo by the end.


Episode 10: Collaborator
(Kira, Odo, Dax, O'Brien, Quark, Videk Winn, Sisko)

Bajorans working with Cardassians must mean shenanigans. And look at how many people AREN'T in this episode. No Bashir, no Dukat, no Garak, no Jake, even Captain Sisko is barely in this episode. She. nanigans.


Serial 4: The Caretaker
(Janeway, Kim, Paris, Chakotay, Torres, Tuvok, Neelix, Doctor, Kes, Quark)

The Maquis situation is out of control, and The Federation has called in Voyager to handle it. Our new cast of officers follows our new cast of villains through a wormhole and end up waaaaaaaaaaaaay far away from home, and might even have to work together to survive. Cool concept, right? Welll, it will go out the window pretty shortly, so enjoy the tension while it lasts.


Episode 13: The Wire
(Bashir, Garak, Dax, Quark, Sisko, Kira, O'Brien)

In "Lower Decks", we met a Cardassian going against stereotype and assisting the federation. Last episode, we saw Bajorans working with Cardassians. On Deep Space Nine, we've seen a Cardassian named Garak who is either a spy, or someone going against stereotype to assist the federation. It's always been unclear which side he's on, but, unlike Gul Dukat, there seems to be no menace to him. But when Doctor Bashir discovers a malfunctioning chip in Garak's head, he decides to go further into his investigation of Garak's motives.


Episode 14: Crossover
(Kira, Bashir, Sisko, Odo, Dax, O'Brien, Quark, Garak)

It's really a Golden Age of Star Trek. Next Gen overlaps with Deep Space Nine, which then overlaps with Voyager. Such good times. So why not have a crossover. But let's have Deep Space Nine crossover with, oh, I don't know, THE MIRRORVERSE DEEP SPACE NINE. Dun dun dun. Any timeline with Smiley O'Brien in it, seems like a fine timeline to me.


Episode 15: Whispers
(O'Brien, Keiko, Sisko, Bashir, Odo, Jake, Quark)

Oh man, now O'Brien is having memory problems? Or is he just fine, and the entire crew of Deep Space Nine, including his wife, has turned evil? This is a fun twist on the alternate universe trope in Star Trek. 


Episode 16: Parallels
(Worf, Troi, Riker, Data, Crusher, Laforge, Picard, Wesley)

And now Worf is having memory issues? This is becoming a huge problem. Is he married to Troi now? Is this going to end up being an alternate universe episode or is this whole season just a mess of red herrings?


Episode 17: Eye Of The Needle
(Janeway, Torres, Tuvok, Paris, Kim, Doctor, Neelix, Kes)

Is the crew of Voyager saved already?  They find a wormhole back to the Alpha Quadrant. Ok, it's too small to fit a ship through, but they can send a message and get rescued, right?


Episode 18: Flashback
(Tuvok, Janeway, Sulu, Rand, Neelix, Kes, Doctor, Chakotay, Kim, Kang)

On Voyager, Tuvok seems to be having similar problems to Garak, only instead of just physical pain, he's having an emotional response to a memory. In order to determine the cause, he mind melds with Janeway and they go back to his most important memory, when he served under Captain Sulu, during the plot of "The Undiscovered Country", way back in season three of this continuity. I think this would have been a solid episode, even if it didn't feature cast members from TOS, but seeing Sulu and Rand again is an absolute blast. Plus, Kang from a terrible TOS epsode ("Day Of The Dove") is back again (and yes, he is the basis for the Treehouse Of Horror alien from The Simpsons).

​
Serial 5:  All Good Things
(Picard, Crusher, Troi, Laforge, Worf, Data, Riker, Q, Yar, O'Brien)

Well, it's gone all the way to the top. In this, the final episode of TNG, Picard is having memory problems. This is a fun way to say goodbye to the series using character continuity, but very little plot continuity from previous episodes. Unlike Descent, which pulled from previous storylines, this would have been an interesting episode/movie even if we hadn't met any of these characters before. That we do know them, and that some of them haven't been seen for a while, makes this a fulfilling ending to this part of the Star Trek universe.

To watch all of The Star Trek franchise, it would take you over a month of no-sleep-marathoning. Nearly 800 hours at this point. And there are currently five different series still in production.  You don't have time to watch All the Star Trek content.

I've attempted to put together a much more condensed series of Star Trek. Dividing it into twenty episode seasons. For the most part, these are My Favorite Episodes. I've left out some that are historically important episodes, in favor of things that I found fun to watch. If you're a Trekkie or Trekker, or just consider yourself a fan, I may have left off your favorite episode. Sorry. But this is more a list for people like me, who had seen an episode here and there, were interested in seeing more, but don't want to invest in the whole 530+ hours. I'm doing it, so others don't have to.

Unlike the previous unstructured season, we return to an arc based season. From aging to death & the afterlife to the mistakes of our youth coming back to haunt us. This season also has The Next Generation spinning off into Deep Space Nine.​

Episode 1: First Duty
(Wesley, Picard, Crusher, Riker, Troi)

Wesley is back. And he has Fucked Up. In "Tapestry", we saw how Picard fucked up when he was in Starfleet Academy. Now he gets to go back there and help Wesley from ruining his life.


Episode 2: Data's Day
(Data, O'Brien, Picard, Keiko, Crusher, Troi)

See the ship through Data's eyes, and meet O'Brien's future wife, Keiko. See how Data nearly ruins a wedding but also saves the ship. Also, a cat.


Episode 3: Pegasus
(Riker, Picard, Worf, Data, Troi, Laforge)

Riker went to Starfleet once, too! And after he graduated, he served on a ship called Pegasus where Bad Shit Went Down. He and the Captain, another tropey incompetent Starfleet Asshole (a younger John Locke from Lost!) were the only two who escaped. But what did they escape from, and why are the Romulans interested? DUN DUN-DUNNNNN.


Episode 4: The Are The Voyages
(Riker, Archer, T'Pol, Trip, Shran, Soto, Troi, Mayweather, Reed, Phlox, Data)

This is one of the most hated episodes of Star Trek. But more for its context than its content. It was aired as the final episode of Enterprise, which was a slap in the face to the cast of Enterprise, because it's actually a TNG episode. During the events of "Pegasus", Riker goes to the holodeck to examine his problem from multiple angles. To do so, he recreates The Enterprise from Enterprise (I know, I know), and acts as cook, talking with each crew member about different decisions they've made during their Starfleet Career. It would have probably been liked or loved if it had been in the middle of the season instead of the end. I like it as a non-canon chance for Enterprise and TNG to crossover. Because we're going to come back to Enterprise at least once more, and nothing that happens in this episode will have ever happened to them, but it has helped Riker make a difficult decision during "Pegasus".


Serial 1: Time's Arrow
(Data, Picard, Gainan, Riker, Crusher, Laforge, Troi) 

An ancient artifact discovered on Earth turns out to be Data's head. Time travel shenanigans ensue featuring Samuel Clemens, a resourceful bellhop, card sharks, and everyone's favorite Enterprise bartender.


Episode 7: The Inner Light
(Picard, Crusher, Riker, Data, Laforge, Troi)

A probe seeks information from Picard, and to get it, makes him live an entire lifetime where his new family and friends convince him that his life on The Enterprise was a dream.


Episode 8: Timescape
(Picard, Data, Troi, Laforge, Crusher, Riker, Worf)

While several key officers are on an away mission, The Enterprise attempts to rescue some Romulans and everything goes wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey. The away team thinks they've figured out a way to overcome the time problems, but can they fix The Enterprise or the Romulan vessel before either or both of them explode?


Serial 2: Chain Of Command
(Picard, Worf, Crusher, Riker, Troi, Laforge, Data)

There are FOUR lights, and they all point to a war with the Cardassians on the horizon.


Serial 3: Emissary
(Sisko, Picard, O'Brien, Kira, Odo, Jake, Quark, Dax, Bashir, Keiko, Nog, Gul Dukat)

Way back in Season Five of this continuity, Capt. Picard became a borg named Locutus who blew up a bunch of Federation ships on his course to destroy Earth (which he failed to do). One of the ships he blew up contained Benjamin Sisko who is now traveling with Picard to an abandoned Cardassian space station called Deep Space Nine. Picard totally killed this guy's wife, so he is Not Pleased with him or the assignment, but he and his son decide to join the crew of Deep Space Nine, anyway, and are joined by Enterprise transporter engineer O'Brien, and his wife, Enterprise botanist Keiko. Plus a ragtag crew of Bajorans, Ferenghi, Trill, and whatever the hell Odo is.


Episode 13: Past Prologue
(Kira, Sisko, Bashir, Garak, Odo, O'Brien, Dax, Keiko)

Much of this season focuses on Cardassian and Bajoran war criminals, and how to keep the peace after all the terrible things they did to one another during the war. Deep Space Nine's first officer, Kira, was once a member of a Bajoran underground movement that the Cardassians consider terrorists. When one of her old cohorts shows up, the newly assembled crew needs to figure out how much they can trust each other, and how much they can trust The Cardassians. And what the hell are the sisters of Duras from Redemption doing on Deep Space Nine?


Episode 14: Man Alone
(Odo, Sisko, Dax, O'Brien, Keiko, Bashir, Nog, Jake, Quark)

Deep Space Nine's security officer, Odo, has held the post since the station was run by Cardassians, and while some of the Bajorans trust him, everyone is put on edge when a criminal he sent to prison shows up on board and is swiftly murdered.


Episode 15: Babel
(Bashir, O'Brien, Sisko, Quark, Odo, Kira, Jake, Dax)

More a companion to Darmok than Journey To Babel or Babel One, the episode focuses on the effects of a Cardassian engineered virus that causes aphasia in its victims. And then they die, of course, unable to express what they're going through.


Episode 16: The Nagus
(Quark, Sisko, Kira, Odo, Nagus, Bashir, Jake, O'Brien, Dax,  Rom, Nog, Zek)

It's time to learn about Ferenghi culture with the station's favorite bartender, and a slew of strangers who may be important down the line. Also, O'Brien is substitute teacher for his wife's school.


Episode 17: The Chase
(Picard, Riker, Worf, Crusher, Troi, Data, Laforge)

It's all about unity when the Federation, The Klingons, The Romulans, and The Cardassians chase down an ancient artifact on a strange planet.


Episode 18: Duet
(Kira, Sisko, Bashir, Odo, Gul Dukat, Dax, Quark)

Someone who appears to be a Cardassian war criminal with ties to Kira's past shows up on Deep Space Nine. Kira wants him tried on Bajor, Gul Dukat wants him returned to the Cardassians.  Despite a moderately weak and predictable ending, most of this episode is a very interesting look at the guilt of not-necessarily-innocent bystanders during acts of war.


Serial 5: The Homecoming/The Circle/The Seige
(Kira, O'Brien, Sisko, Odo, Bashir, Dax, Quark, Rom, Keiko)

A Bajoran resistance group called The Splinter comes to play in the war with The Cardassians. Their plans to rise to power include eliminating all alien life on Bajor, including the non-Bajoran staff on Deep Space Nine.

If you want the complete mainstream Meatloaf experience, you can simply listen to the original versions of Bat Out Of Hell and Bat Out Of Hell 2. That was really it for radio's love affair with Meat Loaf. He was great in the late 1970s, he disappeared for the 80s, and emerged triumphantly in the 90s for an encore. Sure, VH1 played some videos from a couple of albums after Bat Out Of Hell 2, but that was about it.

But Meat Loaf put out a dozen albums, not including live albums and a greatest hits collection. Surely there were things on those albums worth listening to. And, let's be real, neither of the first two Bat Out Of Hell albums were flawless. The first one was intriguing rock opera from the 1970s. Very Paul Williams. Very Rocky Horror. But do I want to listen to all of those songs? Not really.

So here is a condensed discography of the songs that I enjoy listening to from the nearly 50 year career of Mr. Loaf.

1. This album is all about bombast and cheese and musical theater singalongs. So even though the title track is the basis of Meatloaf's career, I'm not including it. It's pretty much a sin that the original album didn't start with the completely ridiculous dialogue from the intro to You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth. I'd be shocked to find out that this isn't in the top ten most performed duets in karaoke history. It's a hit from the stilted intro all the way to the hand clap fade out.

2. I'll be jumping around Meatloaf's 80s albums (and the real Bat Out Of Hell) because thy all tend to suffer from a sameness of sound. Each one has a particular drone where even the ballads and bangers tend to sound indistinguishable after a while. I don't think it's true of his whole discography, so I'm going to go from 77 to 88 to 83, etc. Burning Down is a synth and saxaphone track, which is about as 80s as you can get. It's got a hint of Miami Vice to it, and the choir who sings the chorus is vintage musical theater.

3. From synths and saxaphones to a country-esque foot stomper. Midnight At The Lost & Found is just silly and fun.

4. Meat Loaf has claimed that Jim Steinman wrote Air Supply's "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" for him, but gave it to them during a time when there was a financial dispute between them. If that's true, it seems like Cheatin' In Your Dreams is his revenge, as it seems very 80s soft rock. He eventually gets to his usual belty vocals, but it's very soft and smooth for the first half of the song. It ends like a lost track from Little Shop Of Horrors.

5. Back to the hits from the first album! Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad  is a classic piano crooner with some of the cheesiest lyrics commited to paper. 

6. Given how they share a songwriter, it's a pity that Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler didn't work together. But Meat Loaf did work with Cher on Dead Ringer For Love, which definitely sounds like an outtake from either the original Bat Out Of Hell or maybe Rocky Horror Picture Show. 

7. The low end of the piano bangs in through the end of "Dead Ringer For Love" before it gets layered into a very 80s build-a-ballad. It's a weird conceit, I'm Going To Love Her For Both Of Us talks about how he wants an abusive boyfriend to let him date his partner because Meat Loaf will treat her right. He's not singing to her that he's going to rescue her, he's singing to the abusive boyfriend that he needs to do the right thing and let Meat Loaf have the relationship with her so that everyone can be happy. 

8. Before recording his own albums, Meat Loaf was a touring member of Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar and, or course, The Rocky Horror Show. If You Really Want To is a weird little nugget of a love song that, much like some tracks from the first two of those musicals, seems to be building to a belting verse that never comes. It's a rhythmic rock lullaby. It's not a ballad, it's just got a very repetitive bass and rhythm. I get drawn in at the beginning, and then I'm trapped there for the rest of the song. 

9. Some times, I see two track titles, and think "I hope those fit together." Thus we fllow up "If You Really Want To" with the ballady Everything Is Permitted. It soars. Something about Loaf's vocals sound vaguely sour, though. Like a mediocre opera singer. It's still better than most rock musicians, but it's certainly not of the caliber of the Bat Out Of Hell albums.

10. Getting Away With Murder could be any 80s soundtrack song. I can't even place who it sounds like because it just sounds like upbeat 80s soundtrack rock track #4.  It's catchy and inoffensive, despite the title. You can almost see him wearing Raybans, and a white suit with a Hawaiian shirt under the blazer.

11.We knock it back down a notch for a little John Cougar Mellancampy blue collar work song. Piece Of The Action is like barely pre-Bon Jovi narrative rock about how it's tough to have a job, and how you've got to dream big, baby.

12. Another of the original hits, Paradise By The Dashboard Light fits in perfectly here. You can see the co-leads doing a little Fosse as the background singers ooo-bop-bop in the background.

13. While I feel like a lot of 80s Meat Loaf songs do go Nowhere Fast, this particular rocker is a fun little stand-in for "Hot Patootie".  If you stripped the vocal tracks away, this could be a cool Nintendo theme song. Probably Ice Man or Cut Man from the original Mega Man game.

14. Despite namedropping Virginia and California at the beginning of the song, The Promised Land sounds like Alabama or The Oak Ridge Boys  might have recorded this very American song about moving from city to city and state to state.

15. "Promised Land" blends right into Bad Attitude, Meat Loaf's song about how the old squares hated his freedom, man. The guitars are very Queen, but they're sadly buried in the mix. 

16. One More Kiss (Night Of The Soft Parade)  is a spare piano ballad for soft rock radio. There's a lot of whispery singing to kick this song off. It does eventually build to belting with a set of female background singers to levitate his pleas.

17. From pleas to threats we go, as I'll Kill You If You Don't Come Back​ has some of the worst, cheesiest lyrics on this album (which is a high bar). How do you abuse me/ Let me count the ways is so Roger Rabbit that it makes me laugh.

18. If you've ever wondered what a Huey Lewis & The News song would sound like if it had a chorus of female vocalists, wonder no more. Blind Before I Stop has a touch of Robert Palmer, and a touch of generic 80s girl rock band. 

19. We close off the album with what should have been the closing ballad for the real Bat Out Of Hell, Heaven Can Wait. It's a pleasant unwind.