Another Roadside Attraction You'll Never Visit

Kevin Young is only the Steven King of poetry in his level of output and thickness of books. There are two sections in his collection Dear Darkness that are made up entirely of odes to food.

While every section of his book is excellent, and I want to come back and do another interaction or two with it, I also really enjoyed writing about food as opposed to love or family.

I'm also planning on posting a remix of this poem, in the vain of Kevin Young's To ​Repel Ghosts​, which I read before I knew who Kevin Young was.

---

​Ode To The Alligator In Pirate Soup
Adam Stone

Living in Florida didn't teach me anything
about The South. Except that
every job interview asked my religion before
my qualifications. And if you put on a play
making fun of the KKK, a dozen white men will
walk out. But there are racists in The North, too.

Missing home, I found a seafood restaurant with
New England Clam Chowder on the menu. What
came out was red and thinner than the chef's
excuse Of course it's New England Clam Chowder.
Let me show you the can it came out of.

Refusing the obviously Manhattan
Chowder, I ordered something
forgettable with alligator.
Did not remember the dish for years.

I am sorry I forgot you alligator.
Sorry our next encounter was a joke
about the food cycle as Simon, Maybe, and I
got drunk and fed hot dogs to the baby
alligators in the caged moat of a mini-golf course
before crossing the street to eat gator nuggets.
Disrespectfully fried reptiles
kept frozen in the back and on the menu
until tourist season.

I am sorry our second meeting was so cheap.
That I forgot you every time I left that
flaccid peninsula.

I was in a panic when I saw you
in the exotic meats aisle of the fancy
food retailer. I was surprise cooking
a thirteen course meal with
mostly improvised recipes
based on the titles of Dr. Who episodes.

Silurians! I thought. They are reptilian.
Alligators are reptilian. And I pulled
stack after stack of you from the refrigerator.
Bagged you with lamb and beef and sausage and
all the common beasts. I bought too much of
you. Split you into recipes
you shouldn't belong in. But
you were the perfect accent in a stew.
Held your own in a flavor battle against
chicken in the battle of bay leaves.
I couldn't stop inventing
reasons for you to appear in my kitchen.

It was Dean who suggested I open up
a roadside alligator restaurant.
How you sriracha
bleeding off my menu.
How you pepper toothed in stew.
How you oyster sauced and brown sugared.
How you sweet.
How you spice. All these roles
usually cast for beef and chicken
you could fill.

I can open a roadside diner
like I can open waterpark in Manitoba.

I can. I just don't know how.
Or why.

But I've started stupider ventures.
None of them starring as
dependable partners as you.