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Honest Conversation Is Overrated

Actual Human Interactions Witnessed Or Overheard
In  Twentieth  And  Twenty-First  Century  America

To The Victor Go The Spoils (Part 2: The Spoil)

1/15/1994

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Victor gives the secret knock.  I pick up my towel and look at the clock.  It's 2:22 AM.  My roommate, JBoB, is off campus at this girlfriend's house, running lines for Into The Woods.  Most of the jocks are at some lacrosse tournament.  "Ready?" He asks.

Some people get butterflies in their stomachs.  I have a swarm of yellowjackets in my heart.  "Yes."  I kiss him, and wonder if he can feel their stingers pushing out of my chest.

He leads me to the bathroom, where I reach for the light switch.

"Leave those off."  He says.  I feel ugly and secure.  "Okay.  You turn on the first shower, and I"ll turn on the fourth.  If the door opens, you run into the other shower."

I turn on the decoy shower, hang my boxers on the hook next to my stall. Breathe.  Breathe.

"
Coming?"  He asks.

I cross the Rubicon in flipflops.  Victor pulls me into his stall, his hands go down to my ass.  I mirror his movement.   Surely, he knows what he's doing.

"I love you." He says.

I echo.

He licks his way down to my torso until he is "Oh." He smiles up at me and "Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ow!"

"Sorry."

"It's okay." I say, looking down to make sure it is, in fact, okay.  No teeth marks.

Then we are blur of water, mist, fingers, tongue, lubrication, squeaky voices, and then he is leaning forward, palms to the wall like he's under arrest.  He says "Please."

I say "Yes."

There is a moment.  Everything kissworthy, porn beautiful.  I am inside him and groan.  He pushes back yes.  Wet hair in my fingers.  I am thrusting oh.  Then he is wow, and I...and I...and I...I am oh God, I forgot to put on a condom.

I wish there was some sort of romantic or dramatic story about how and why Victor and I started fooling around, but it couldn't be that great because I don't remember our first kiss, our first conversation (though I'm sure it was awkward), I do remember our first time we were naked together in his room.

He had barely wrapped his hand around my cock when there was a knock on his door.

While nothing was ever said to either of us, I couldn't shake the feeling that the dormhead knew what we'd been about to do. Victor threw on some boxers, nervously answered the door, and stepped outside into the hallway to talk to her.

"Veektor" (I'm no good at typing Elena's accent. She was Colombian, not Transylvanian. Try to imagine everything she says in a very unsexy South American Catholic Guilt Trip Mother Voice Box, and you'll have a reasonable facsimile of her voice) "You weren't in class this morning, and there was a quiz. I told you if you missed...Are you ok?"

The conversation continues in Spanish. I am was fluent in French and just starting to learn American Sign. Spanish was Greek to me. But without the extra vowels.

The raise in her voice, and the timbre of his led me to believe that she was going to enter the room at any moment. I, too, was skipping a class in the interest of pursuing sex education. I contemplated hiding in the wardrobe or under the bed, but then if she found me she'd know that we were doing something more than just skipping classes, so I sat at Victor's computer and opened up a file that I had written for him, and pretended to proofread. I was shaking and sweating so profusely by the time Elena came in, you'd think I had swallowed a blow up doll full of cocaine.

She said something in Spanish that had my name in it. I gave her the Mr. Spock eyebrow (this was pre-The Rock...I wonder if The Rock chose his name because it rhymed with Spock). "Sorry. Insafemode, what are you doing in here?"

"My computer is down." This was true. "So I asked Victor if I could finish up one of my papers on his and print it out. When it's done I've got to run to class."

"Ah, I see. Well, you'd better hurry, it's nearly fourth period." She left. Victor collapsed on the bed. I melted into the chair.

You couldn't cut the tension with the jaws of fucken life.

Victor and I, limp in every possible way, stared across the room at each other. He pulled off his boxers, and laid on his stomach. I got out of the chair and walked over to his bed. I started caressing his ass. That's when the fire alarm went off.
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