Sex Therapist, teaching a college class, after showing a video of The Incident: "Where do you think this interaction went wrong?"
Student #1: "Well, like, I assume that when A said 'At least I didn't sneeze on your back this time.' he was referring to a previous time where sex was ruined because he sneezed on B's back."
ST: "We don't know that, though. There might not have been anything happening, sexually, when A sneezed on B's back. But maybe don't bring sneezing on your partner up while you're trying to be sexy unless they've mentioned that it's a turn on for them."
The class nods. S1 takes furious notes.
ST: "Anyone else?"
Student #2: "Was it when A elbowed B in the face?"
Many of the students make positive mmmmmm sounds, and there is more nodding.
ST: "While being elbowed in the face is an uncommon fetish, it seems to have happened accidentally in this case, and B was not hurt or injured, just surprised to see an elbow that close up. So I think, in this case, while I wouldn't Reccomend elbowing someone in the face, that it's not, Necessarily where the interaction went wrong."
Student #3 raises hand.
S3: "Was it when B said 'I'll take an elbow in the face over an Elmo in the face, any day?"
ST: "That was a little odd, yes. And while I would say it was a contributing factor, it probably could been overlooked if ..."
Student #2 oooh oooh ooohs and raises their hand.
S2: "It was when A said, in a creepily accurate Elmo voice 'Elmo's gonna stick his huge hairy erection in the eye socket of your rotting corpse.' and then laughed until he cried."
ST nods. "That's it. Yes. There is no recovering from that. Using Muppet voices to deliver threatening sexual lines is ALWAYS a turn off, and you must wait at least forty-five minutes before you even think of saying anything mildly flirtatious again."
S3: "Did A & B ever recover from The Incident?"
ST: "Those two weirdos? They were making out before either of them had stopped cry-laughing."