Comrade: "Did you hear about the six year old kid who saved his sister from the dog attack?"
Comrade: "He's a big Captain America fan."
Me: "Oh yea. Chris Evans sent him the actual shield from the movie."
Comrade: "Maybe I could have a dog attack my sister, and then resuce her, and get cool stuff."
Me: "You're not six."
Comrade: "I could fake it."
Me: "You're a little tall for a six year old?"
Comrade: "Some six year olds are tall."
Me: "And you're a little scruffy for a six year old."
Comrade: "I would shave. STOP TRYING TO CRUSH MY DREAMS. THIS IS WHY EVERYONE LEAVES YOU."