Rando on Grindr: "Hey. How are you?"
Me: "Good thanks. You?"
Me: "Do you have a face pic?"
RoG: "Sorry. I'm straight."
Me: "You're a straight guy messaging people on Grindr?"
RoG: "I run a naked gromming" (sic) "business. I meet my clients here. I thought you were someone else."
Me: "You're a straight guy who runs a naked grooming service messaging random gay guys on Grindr, but pointing out that you're straight?"
RoG: "Yes. It is a straight gromming service."
Me: "Grooming or gromming? Is gromming one of those straight things that gay people don't know about?"
RoG: "Gromming. Like hair and nails."
Me: "For pets?"
RoG: "Only for straight."
Me: "Only for straight pets? That seems like an arbitrarily homophobic policy. But gay guys can bring their straight pets in to be grommed by a naked straight guy? I think I need to contact the authorities about this. None of it sounds legal."
Then he blocked me.