The improperly face-masked yutz in front of me in line at Family Dollar, where I stopped on my way to work to pick up a drink and a box of Cheez-Itz, bought $120 worth of tinned beans, cans of tunafish, and toilet paper. At Family Dollar.
Guy Behind The Counter: "It's the end of the world, and you're getting only one box of Cheez-Itz?"
Me: "I just need to get through eight hours of work. If the world ends while I'm at work, I'm not going to need twenty-five four-packs of toilet paper."
GBtC: "You would if you'd just eaten all those beans."
I pay my pittance, and am walking out, as the guy behind me gets to the register.
Guy Behind Me: "Where's your hand sanitizer?"
GBtC: "Oh, wow. We've been out for days. Our next shipment comes Sunday, and they already told us there won't be any hand sanitizer on it."
GBM: "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NOBODY WAS PREPARED FOR THIS."
I put my headphones on and walk the empty streets to work.