Last Person I Was In A Relationship With: Same jobs. Same poetry routines. Is there anything new at all with you?
Me: Actually, I've been seeing someone for a few weeks now. I would invite you to hang out with us, but we're really gross. Not, like, saccharine nicknames and matching clothes gross, just constant eyefucking, and when we're not hanging all over each other, you can tell we're thinking about it.
LPIWIARW: Yuck. Love sounds awful.
Me: It's actually pretty great.
LPIWIARW: Well, I guess you deserve it, what with the whole coming back from the dead thing. Eventually you were bound to find someone you love who actually felt the same way.
Me: WE DATED FOR A YEAR.
LPIWIARW: Did we, though?
Me: You moved into my apartment. Twice!
LPIWARW: I didn't have anywhere else to go. I'm an awful person. I assumed that's why you were attracted to me.
Me: It sounds like your therapy is going well.