I wake up to a rustling sound under my bed. I hiss, which nearly always gets the cats to stop what they're doing and run out of the room. The rustling stops. Then starts up again. I hiss. This time, there is no pause.
I turn the light on. The rustling continues. I open the bedroom door, thinking one or both of the cats want to go out.
I look into the kitchen. Both cats are in a single chair, hanging out.
"Motherfucker. Mouse patrol."
I have never said this to her before. We don't have a massive mouse problem, but the temperature has just changed, and they sometimes find their way in.
Motherfucker always comes into the room when I say her name, so I'm not expecting much when she hops off the chair. Except that, instead of climbing on the bed as usual, she darts underneath and comes out with the mouse in her mouth in about four seconds. She follows me to the living room. I open the door to the porch, where she has never gone.
"Drop it out there."
She does. Then she follows me back to the room, hops on the bed and starts purring. After a few minutes the rustling sound starts again, but this time it is Motherfucker, licking a plastic bag, which is the only reward she ever seems to require