Today in Dumbass Shoplifters, a squirrely guy in his fifties asks if he can open two sealed back issues. He's been in my way for the better part of a half hour, so I tell him I'll open them for him.
Dumbass Shoplifter: "No, it's ok. I can open it."
I watch him open the two comics and switch the bags that they're in, occasionally checking over his shoulder to see how close I am watching.
Here's the thing. All of the back issues that he had access to were under $20, so even though I hadn't seen the prices beforehand, his profit for whatever ruse he was trying to pull was going to be potatoes too small to make a single french fry from.
DS: "I'm ready."
I walk over to the counter and take the book in his hand. It says "$10, crease on cover".
I ring it in.
Me: "Can I see the other book."
DS: "Huh? Oh, yea. Of course."
This one is marked "$8", so this guy is trying to save two dollars. Except, of course, he's handed me the more expensive bag. And I know he's switched them because the creased covered book is in the $8 bag. So now he's going to pay two additional dollars for the comic that he didn't even want.
Me: "That'll be ten dollars."
DS: "Ok. Thanks."
I start typing this entry, and he hurries out the door.
DS: "Thanks. Have a good day. I...OH MAN!"
I wait for him to come back inside and tell me that he's made a mistake, but he doesn't. He sucks up what is probably in his mind a four dollar loss.