At least twice a week, for the past year, a man and his mother come into The Outback for dinner. If they like you, they leave you a saint trading card and a decent tip. If they don't like you, you get a pamphlet informing you about how Jesus can save you.
So far I have Saint Jude, Saint Peter, and Saint Augustine (no one will trade with me), and have never been the recipient of The Pamphlet.
One of the Jesus People's (JP) biggest pet peeves is having people say "Hey guys, how you doing tonight?" The first time I heard about this was nearly six months ago, when a fairly new server was compltelely chewed out by them about how "you guys" was offensive. I paid no attention, except I spread the word to never call them "guys."
Tonight, our resident wiseass, Steve, had them, and as I was talking to some friends at the table next to Steve & the JP I heard him say "Hey, guys, what's up?" I thought the man's head was going to explode.
His rant began about how young people these days have no respect for their elders, and words like "guys," "dude," "what's up," "dawgs," and "word up" are the devil's words. I wasn't paying strict attention to everything he said (I had to pay some attention to my friends), but I heard him say at one point: "It's expressions like those that lead impressionable girls to take coat hangers and end the lives of the perfect souls in their wombs."
Who knew "What's up guys?" was a slogan for the pro-choice crowd. I certainly didn't. I think that wins my Most Surreal Overreaction Ever Award. I will never be able to wait on them again without bursting into laughter. Does this mean I'm going to hell? If so, what will I do with my trading cards?