I'm Not Your Guy, Buddy. I'm Not You Buddy, Friend. I'm Not Your Friend, Guy.

Waste Of His Parents' Genetic Material walks into the store.

WOHPGM: I'm back fellow nerds. Miss me?

I glare.

WOHPGM: Where, my good man, do you keep your Star Wars comics?

I lead him to the Star Wars section, and continue a conversation I was having with a Delightful Regular.

Our conversation is interrupted again by a Very Nice Woman.

VNW: I don't read comics. I have a twelve year old nephew who also doesn't read comics. Could you recommend something he might like?

Me: Do you know what non-comic books he likes to read? Or TV shows he watches?

VNW: Not really. He plays a lot of Halo.

WOHPGM: There is another store down the street that has old Halo comics but they don't have them here.

Me: That's true. Is there anything else he likes? Adventure Time? Avatar The Last Airbender?

WOHPGM: If he likes Halo, he probably likes Star Wars and Star Trek because people don't like stories as much as they like genres and Halo and Star Wars are both sci-fi books, so he probably loves Star Wars.

VNW: He did when he was younger but I'm not sure he thinks they're cool anymore.

WOHPGM: They're VERY cool right now. There is a new movie coming out, and if he has any common sense he'll read the comics.

Me: Are you ready to check out?

WOHPGM: Not yet. Is he your son?

VNW: NO! I don't have a twelve year old son.

VNW is probably 25.

WOHPGM: I ask because usually people who have kids really young have kids who don't like to read.

Me: Dude.

WOHPGM: I'm not trying to be rude. When I was twelve I was really into arson. I used to light all sorts of things on fire. It wasn't until I got to high school that people said 'Fire bad." and I got into Star Wars.

Delightful Regular: Wow.

Me (to VNW): Did your nephew like the Guardians Of The Galaxy movie?

VNW: I don't know. But I LOVED it.

I get her a copy of Groot.

VNW: He also really likes gross out humor.

We talk about Mad Magazine and Deadpool, and the Spy Vs Spy books, but none of them are a fit. I tell her about Bone which is not gross out humor but is popular with just about all boys and girls from age eleven and up. That's not quite what she's looking for.

WOHPGM: My good man! I'm ready my good man.

Me: I'll be right with you.

WOHPGM: I have places I need to be, my good man, otherwise I'd stay and help out you and my fellow nerds.

I walk over to the counter, tell him how much he owes me.

DR to VNW: Does he like Harry Potter or The Lord Of The Rings or anything?

Me: Good call.

VNW: I don't think so. I know his mother hasn't ever read them, and I don't think he has either.

WOHPGM: I'm telling you, Star Wars comics. Every kid loves Star Wars comics. It's what's really cool right now.

Me: I thought you had somewhere you had to be.

VNW smirks.

DR: Wow.

WOHPGM: Indeed I do, my good man. May the force be with you fellow nerds.

Me: Qa'Hom.

DR: That was....he's certainly a character.

VNW: I think I'm going to get this Groot comic and this Groot action figure, and if he doesn't like it, they're awesome and they're mine.

Me: I like the way you think.

VNW: I bet you say that to all your customers.

Me: I didn't say it to THAT guy.

VNW: Well. Everyone has limits.