Dude: Didn't you tell me you broke up with someone because they were a police officer or something?
Me: No. I've never dated a police officer.
Dude: I thought you told me you kicked someone out of the house because they were a detective.
Me: What? No, I--- Oh. DeFective. I kicked out my ex because he was deFective. If he had still been under warranty, I would have had a strong case to have all the money I'd spent on him refunded.